Private girls’ school vs local Outstanding state – would you move her?

[sfdml]

Our daughter is in Reception at Wimbledon High. She loves it, and it’s a brilliant school—private, girls-only, goes up to age 18.

BUT:
We’ve moved away from the area, and the commute is draining us. 35–40 mins each way, daily stress, late drop-offs, baby at home, everyone stretched thin.

We are thinking of moving her to a local state school, Collis Primary, which has just kept their outstanding status after an assessment in April.

We’re torn.

• She’s happy where she is
• But we’re exhausted
• Feels like giving up something great, but also like trying to keep up a lifestyle that no longer fits

Has anyone been through this?
Did you switch?
Did your child adjust?
Regrets either way?

Would really appreciate any thoughts.

My child isn't at a private school so might not be the most helpful like for like view, but my thoughts as someone who went to a GDST

where does the state primary feed in to? And if it doesn't feed anywhere, what are the options for secondary? My view is that secondary is the endgame so think about how that looks.

consider if it's important that your young daughter goes to primary school with local kids and is walking distance to her friends. I went to a private primary and secondary and we all lived in opposite directions which I hated. My son is starting at a state primary in September and I'm thrilled we'll be able to walk to school and he'll see his friends at our local park at weekends, just my preference though.

that 30-40min commute could get tough , if you're already exhausted it won't get easier. Think about the netball clubs etc and weekend activities she'll need taking to and from. Have you got other children you need to ferry around too? As any work schedules and commitments change, this could make mornings so stressful too

im assuming youve done the maths: could you send her to the secondary school only? I dont think GDSTs are as selective as they once were but happy to be corrected there (especially if VAT issue limits no. Of entrants too)

no direct experience but like any change involving young children I think the earlier they're switched out of any system the better / easier to adjust.

so yes main thinking points for me would be over secondary and how important having local friends is.

What was the plan when you enrolled her for Wimbledon High? Why did you move house away from her school? Has Collis offered her a place?

I would definitely move her school. An hour and twenty minutes a day for the next 14 years is unsustainable for everyone involved.

Whether you move her to another private school or local primary is another question really.

Personally, I think unless you are very wealthy or your child has special needs then a great state school is an excellent choice for primary.

We're doing a 30 minute commute for years 5 and 6. For me it's 2 hours of driving a day as I work from/near home. I'm not sorry about our choice of school, but I am counting down the days and couldn't have done it for the whole of primary school.

Are there any other options around?

The difference between state and private is pretty significant, moreso as you get into KS2, with specialist staff and a proper timetable.

Move her. That commute is exhausting and you have years ahead. She should adapt better when younger.

💯 move. Absolute no brainer. Collis is a great school with a great community.

Agree with @Nicecuppatea2025 , if Collis has space move her, it's a great school as are the other teddington primaries.

GDSTs are fine but at 20% VAT and the long commune it not really worth it as not academic on par with Westminster and extra curricular clubs some do charge extra. Reception is about fun, social and play. The girls in senior schools do tutoring to top up marks is a common track. So if financial as senior schools are more expensive etc, state and top up with tutoring at exam years if needed.

Just saw she's only in reception of course move her! If you regret it I'm sure they'll let her come back when they have a space. But like daughter needs sane happy parents more than private school. If she was in year 9 I'd say suck it up as you chose to move.

You're now probably in the catchment for waldegrave which will give you similar school for free for secondary, win win

Are there any places for an in year infant transfer to an outstanding primary? Or are you planning to sit it out on the waiting list until/in case one comes up?

I'm sure your child will be fine with the move and the commute would bother me as well.

The location the OP has moved to is full of outstanding state primaries and top rated prep schools. If it doesn't work out the dd can go to Surbiton prep or Jack and Jill / LEH Juniors which are of equivalent of WHS Prep but a short bus ride away. There are 2 other mixed preps on the door step too as well as all the state primaries.

The Outstanding label is a separate issue (and IMO a bit of a red herring) from your long commute to current private school. By all means move her to a nearer school but make sure it's the right one for your daughter.

Yes you should move her. She is so young it will be a really easy move. No child (or parents) should travel that distance to school everyday. Also it's good to see what else is out there and let your daughter develop into herself.
A neighbours daughter went to a GDST school from aged 4 until 18. She hated junior loved senior. Nephew at top North London school the opposite (loved junior hated senior). Both would have been happier if their parents hadn't enrolled them into their forever school by the age of 7.
Try the state option and spend the money and time saved on extra circular (music, sport, art clubs, languages) and when she is in year 3 have a think if you want to do the 11+ for grammar or private. You won't be the only one at the state primary with one eye on the private sector.