Severe MH issues as a parent - Primary Admissions

[AnnonyGirl2025]

Hi All

I have actioned a name change because I’m so embarrassed and ashamed at how far my MH has declined.

I have a physical disability but work part time and can struggle by with the help of my crutches, a very supportive husband who shoulders the lion share of everything physical, financial and emotional pertaining to the household but unfortunately the only thing he cannot help me with is, what goes on in my head.

He has forced me to use the private medical via his work to do more extensive and longer term CBT as NHS support has been lacking and I do not blame them, they’re so over stretched and my first appointment is Thursday and I’m scared.

I am constantly have ritualistic and obsessive thoughts along with researching to the point my husband has to physically remove any electronically devices.

my current obsession is school application in September this year for a place for next year.

I am so sick and twisted I have been doing this since 2023.

I have been hobbling down the road doing the route of the school I have become fixated on getting my child into.

I also have aversions to certain roads of turning left from the bottom of my road, so I only go via the top of the road despite a local shop being bottom of the road and turning… you guessed it, left. This is despite me having a physically disability and find it physically exhausting but that’s nothing on the mental exhaustion.

If it’s not this obsession then it’s one of cleaning and constantly thinking something bad will happen to DH and DC.

The NHS have given me an OCD, extreme depression and anxiety diagnosis and I had used CBT which after 12 sessions ended. I have been on one medication now for last 12 weeks as GP wanted me to trial it for 3 months before looking to change.

I say all this to say, despite being within 0.3miles of the school (it’s not outstanding it’s just a ‘good’ school per ofstead and generally keeps up with the national average (little below on maths) so not doing this for an outstanding school it’s probably worse than two others similar or slightly further, if my child doesn’t get a place I’m worried how bad I’ll be.

if I am like this and trust me I’m trying not to be, I don’t know what it’ll do to me.

I notice my OCD is starting to be detrimental to my child, DC will remark that I’m ’always Cleaning’ or ask ‘mummy why do you do that all the time’.

DC has even clocked his daddy takes him ‘other way’ to the shop.

he is a September born baby and will effectively be five when off to school so he is now starting to clock on.

sorry, I digress, but can that school take this into account when assessing my application and if so, what do I do.

im worried they’ll reject my DC because his mother is a raving mental woman.

i just am going through so much and despite DH support and knowing ill be getting some help this week via private health care, I just am working myself up.

please don’t judge me.

I wish I was normal for everyone’s sake, especially my child’s sake.

Schools admit on very clear criteria. The parents' health is not one of them. It will not be taken into account. (Even if they know, which they probably won't.)

The school can't reject your child on the basis of your mental or physical health, no.

There are no subjective admissions criteria so no way your issues would affect it. If you look at the priority admissions policy for the school, it is likely Looked After children/Send with an EHCP naming the school first , then siblings, distance to school, perhaps faith and occasionally health and social need (for child not parent) in one order or another. There will be data on this year’s allocations, showing the number of pupils and last distance offered in each category, available before the applications open. Bear in mind there is no advantage whether you apply in September or January. Do not only list this school on the form though, fill the number of preferences available, otherwise if you do not qualify for an offer at that one you could be randomly allocated another with spaces left over, possibly further away.

Thank you ladies - our borough will place either child or parents social or medical needs above all criterion’s besides faith based baptised children with a sibling and just normal sibling link, if I read it correctly.

also, this is the closest school and on the route I can do due to my aversions.

good to know my child can’t be discriminated against at least due to my MH.

If this is your closest school why might they not get in? Based on the last few years data would you get a place?

Some schools do indeed have a criteria that is parents social medical need as well as children, you would need to look exactly at the wording. I'm happy to take a look if you would like me to (I sit on appeals panels in Surrey). For example, Surrey local authority schools don't have this criteria, their social & medical is just for children, but schools that are their own admissions Authority might well do.

That doesn't necessarily mean you would be accepted, but you could certainly apply. If your grounds were not accepted for that, your child would be reviewed under the normal criteria.

You could probably access last place allocated data for the last few years from your local LA.

The exception is faith schools who don't always tell the LA about their allocations, but they would be able to tell you directly.

If it’s any comfort to you OP, school entrance planning is something that many of us treat very seriously and spend a lot of time researching and weighing up options. Please don’t judge yourself harshly

I shall PM you

thank you kindly.