First residential trip for 7 year old

[HalfAwakeInAFakeEmpire]

Hi, excuse my slightly neurotic mum post but I need some advice and reassurance! My eldest has recently turned 7 and her school has organised the year 3/4 residential for mid September so just after the start of year 3. I thought I’d have at least a few extra months, she’ll be so young! Our families live too far away for sleepovers to be a regular thing so she’s very much not used to sleeping away from home. I’m hoping to try and squeeze in a couple of sleepovers with grandparents or auntie during the summer but is there anything else I can do to help prepare her? I’m trying very hard to be upbeat and excited about it so she doesn’t clock that I’m nervous about it but other than that I need all the tips please! 🙈

Usually everyone went on the shorter trips, on a 4 night trip 2 children didn't go and they had to go into a different year group as their teacher was on the trip.

No. But I do think that schools have a responsibility to ensure that all pupils are not disadvantaged and address sources of 'soft' exclusion. If the residentials are not part of the curriculum, why are they are offered? If they are part of the curriculum, why are they offered in a way that excludes some pupils? Given that as another poster notes, the only alternative offered is to stuff the non-attending pupils in with another year group, presumably to little educational benefit, it would be hard for a child not to see that as the smack in the face it is.

I am not saying that all children should not be able to do these because some cannot, but the pressure to 'be ok' and the pressure on parents to make it ok for children who, in better countries than ours, are considered too young for school let alone boarding away, is appalling. Some residential providers are voluntary funded but more/ most are for profit. Given that offering these trips is also a way to pass on 'enrichment' costs to parents for cash starved schools, there is no incentive to consider whether this is an appropriate thing to do.

So much I want to say to this.

So many adjustments are made, in my experience. I've supported schools in making adjustments for children with SEND. They can't do it all so parents need to support in preparing children for residential trips.

As for to make it ok for children who, in better countries than ours, are considered too young for school let alone boarding away, well firstly it's a myth that other countries don't even start school at this age. They do, it just has a different name. And in my experience of those the children are doing amazing things really young. I worked with one school in a different European country who took their equivalent of our preschool class on an overnight residential.

This thread shows why social anxiety in young people is in the rise.They are mollycoddled at home, and their wants, wishes and whims are the guiding compass for parents.

The opportunity to be away from home with a peer group and doing lots of exciting things eating new foods, managing in a new place and building resilience while learning social skills is invaluable.

@RightOFF Good grief, what an old Gammony saw that is. Social anxiety on the rise because parents take into consideration their children's wants (and needs, not whims or wishes)? Nothing to do with having their education disrupted by Covid, or their schools and social spaces destroyed by under-funding, or their parents working multiple jobs to keep a roof over their heads, or social media crushing their little egos? Nope, mollycoddling all the way.

As to 'building resilience while learning social skills' here is a quote from Bear Grylls on life at boarding school

I missed my mum and dad terribly, and on the occasional night where I felt this worst, I remember trying to muffle my tears in my pillow while the rest of the dormitory slept.
In fact I was not alone in doing this. Almost everyone cried, but we all learned to hide it, and those who didn’t were the ones who got bullied.
As a kid, you can only cry so much before you run out of tears and learn to get tough.
I meet lots of folks nowadays who say how great boarding school is as a way of toughening kids up. That feels a bit back-to-front to me. I was much tougher before school. I had learned to love the outdoors and to understand the wild, and how to push myself.
When I hit school, suddenly all I felt was fear. Fear forces you to look tough on the outside but makes you weak on the inside. This was the opposite of all I had ever known as a kid growing up.

These social skills you applaud are learning to hide your pain because no one wants to hear about it. Great lesson.

Yes residentials are not as long as boarding school terms, but to a child, especially such a young one, a week may as well be a year and we've heard on this thread about 3, 4 and 5 day trips.

Anyway, happy to discuss this elsewhere if there's another thread but I'm not sure this is going to help the OP.

If she wants to go - let her go. You'll be more anxious than she is and she'll return filthy, hair unbrushed, knackered and having had a great time.

As for the comments about the kids who don't want to go - just please don't be the parent we had when my kids were at primary who demanded the itinerary for the residential and for activities to be changed that she couldn't precisely replicate for her kids who weren't going on the trip - like no beach time because we live in a landlocked county level of demands.

I was camping with my Cubs over the weekend, including our 6yo Beavers and they had a great time.

One of the Primary schools we take from takes them on residential every year and apparently the parents hate it because it really adds up financially but feel forced into it because the children do enjoy it.

Another school only goes in Year 6 and the children really look forward to it as ots a huge treat after SATs instead of something they have done regularly.