Explaining (understandable) favouritism

[RightSaidFrederica]

Sorry for the clunky title.

DD5 is in reception. One of her peers has a tricky home life - I’m not sure of the details but it’s clear that not all is well.

The same girl is very often chosen for special things by the teacher - all stuff which is very minor but seems important to little ones, like ringing the bell at the end of playtime, or having a fun role in the class assembly.

I’d noticed it, and I don’t have a particular problem with it, as I trust the teachers to know that she needs a bit of a boost.

But DD has now noticed too, and I’m getting a lot of questions and whinging that it’s not fair.

I don’t want to talk about the other girl’s home life to her, so at the moment I waffle about how everyone does different things then change the subject.

Anyone have a better solution?

I think you can explain that being fair isn't necessarily being treated the same. Like maybe there are kids in the class that get different treatment, leaving the room, or sitting on a special cushion. It might be because it's harder for them to sit and listen, or they need ear defenders because they don't like noise. But sometimes we don't know all the reasons why someone may be treated a bit differently. It's usually to make things fair, we need to trust that the teacher knows why and sometimes reasons are private.

I work with 4 year olds and some if them could definitely understand that. There is a really good meme of some kids watching a match over a fence which explains it well.

This is the picture