8 y/o boy - playing alone at school - so anxious

[3boysandadog23]

My year 3 son has said over the last few days that he’s been playing alone for some break times. He says he’s asked groups if he could play but they already have enough people etc.

He has a group of boys that he is friends with, has occasional play dates, gets invited to their parties, even very small ones with a few invited. But he never seems to be anyone’s first choice. He is a lovely, less confident than some boys, who is never nasty to anyone. Play dates always go really well but I always feel like he’s a bit on the outskirts when it’s a group.

I’m worrying so much about whether he should have better friendships/upset that he’s been playing alone at times. I feel so anxious about it but obviously know that won’t help.

Does anyone else have any helpful comments to calm my anxiety or their own experience? Thank you

Speak to the school. Ar my son's Junior School they had a " Buddy Bench" for children to sit at if they were alone. They also had " buddies", nice yr 6 children who had been chosen to play with any lonely child, and help integrate them back into peer groups.

I will email his teacher on Monday. Appreciate your response, thank you

I don’t know if it gets used but we have similar at our school. Hopefully the school can sort something.

My kids school had the buddy bench too.

They also had the playground supervisors organise some games like What’s the Time Mr Wolf?

Does he have hobbies/activities outside of school? Sometimes things like a group sport, martial art or scouts - especially if its a certain interest or passion or favourite hobby can bring kids together and make making friends easier, which can have a knock of effect to helping them make friends in school.

Or just simply knowing he has his group of friends or best friend but they aren't necessarily at school can be a comfort.