Changing primary schools

[ByZippyBlueCrow]

I don’t know if anyone can help me as I am going round in circles. My son is at a small Catholic school. We like the school, we like the teachers and we like how close it is to our house. We can attend all the shows etc. and the park that all the children go to after school is right next to our house. My son seems happy there. We are also soon to have our twins attend the school.
However it is a one form entry school (30 children in the class). My son does have people to play with but it’s now the end of year 2 and he can’t name any close friends and doesn’t seem to connect with the boys in his class at all. He is usually very sociable and seems to get on with most people in other settings so it’s a real shame that he dosent have that with those in his class. I am really worrying that I should try and move him and his siblings as he still has four years left!!!!
maybe he would be better in a bigger school? I’m just scared to make the situation worse not better.

Even if you move schools he will probably still be in a class of 30. There must be a reason why he's struggling to make friends. Moving him without working out why he doesn't connect with other kids would be unproductive imo.

Do you invite classmates, boys or girls, round for play dates or trips to the cinema etc.?

My son seems happy there.

This ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ is the line that stood out for me.
0lus you love everything about the school.

Changing it would be insane. It's literally a win/win

Does he perhaps play football?
That would give him a tribe on the playground, but no specific friends.

Sounds like he's acing it and you love the school

Does he also not have friends amongst the girls in the class, or is it the kind of setting where only same-sex friendships are expected / encouraged?

(All three of ours - 2 boys, one girl - just had 'friends' and mixed sex friendship groups were very much the norm at their school; the only time this came unstuck was with a female classmate of DS2's, whose parents, on religious grounds, only tolerated her being with boys during the school day as a necessary evil, but wouldn't let her socialise with them outside of school).

What happens if you move him (does he want to?) and by the end of year 3, he's still not able to name other pupils he regards as close friends? Does another school in your area actually have a place in year 2 currently and two places in reception for September?

It’s weird because he has close friends outside of school and happily attends beavers, clubs etc. I think it’s just luck
of draw that the drawer that the boys in his class are quite immature (maybe that will improve through the years).

I have tried but I find it very stressful with the twins with me as well. I probably could have done more. It’s hard when he dosen’t instigate saying he actively wants any of them and would prefer a friend outside of school probably.

I honestly wouldn't be concerned OP as, from what you've said, he is happy where he is. He doesn't have any difficulties forming friendships, as you've seen for yourself out of school. Even at school, where the other children are not necessarily his kind of people, he is able to mix ok to the point where he's satisfied at playtime and lunchtime. It doesn't sound like he's ever on his own, struggling socially. He just doesn't have a best friend, and that's ok (often the best way to be, best friends come with a load of politics and unwritten rules).

There are no guarantees he will find a best friend at a different school so stick with what he knows, where he's happy. You are giving him the best of both worlds with his extra curricular clubs.

In my experience the friendship change a lot in the early few years of school, I wouldn’t panic. My daughters closest friend in reception left in year 1, her new best friend just joined 2 years later. It’s fluid, if he’s happy I wouldn’t get into the habit of jumping in.

He is happy where he is.
You are happy with the school.

I think this is all that's needed here.

Thank you everyone- your comments have eased my crazy mind!