Wraparound Care. Hours too long?

[Aarg]

Hello,

I hope everybody is well.

I've never posted before, so please forgive me if this is not in the correct thread.

I have a question regarding the hours involved for children who attend breakfast clubs and after school clubs and was hoping for some advice/opinions from parents who also send their children to these clubs.

Basically, I have 3 children aged 7, 5 and 4. Come September they will be in year 3, year 1 and Reception. I have not worked since the eldest was born, but now, as my youngest will be attending school for a full day I would like to go back, as we as a family are struggling with the cost of living. When/if I go back, it will mean the children will have to be in breakfast club at 7.30 and after school club until 5 everyday. My husband would probably be able to pick them up at 4.30 a couple of days a week.

My question is, do these hours seem excessive? To me they do, but everybody around me keeps saying lots of children do it and they cope. Both my husband and I are teachers which would mean we would be able to spend all the holidays with the children, hopefully mitigating any ill effects of the long hours during term time.

I also don't understand how we will be able to fit in al the homework, dinner, bath, reading, extra curriculars etc after school if I'm not going to be home until about 5.30 and the children have a bedtime of 7.30. I'll only get to spend about 2 or maybe 2.5 hours a day with my children.

What do you guys think? Does anybody who is also in a similar situation have any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

I'd look at getting an after school Nanny instead. Might not be that much more expensive than 3 x after school club. 4 is quite little to be doing those hours 5 days a week. People will say it's the same as nursery but it's different somehow.

It works for a lot of families.
It would never have worked for our children in a young age to go 7.30-5.

My situation is slightly different but I don't think those hours are excessive. My children were (DD still in) in nursery 7.30am to 4.30/5pm every day. DS goes to breakfast club at 730am and sometimes I don't pick him up until 4.30pm if he has clubs at school. He has alot of friends that do breakfast club and then afterschool club until 5/530pm. If anything my DS would like to go to afterschool club to play with his friends. He loves it on the rare occasion I have to put him in.

I think as you are teachers, the time you lose in term time with them, you have plenty of time to make up in the holidays. I personally would want to move to a job that I can do this week - I'm not a teacher but have an educational admin degree so is my eventual goal!

In terms of how to get everything done, I have no idea! We have a strict schedule each week as DS has alot of activities, and struggle with getting everything done. I've tried to lower my expectations, only getting the essential things done, focusing on spending what time I do have in the week with my DCs.

DD is in reception and attends 7.45-5.15 4 days a week. She is absolutely fine but she did the same hours at nursery from age 1 so it wasn’t a shock. It isn’t excessive no, thousands of children do it.

DD has hot school lunch and an after school snack so only has a small supper at home (often a wrap, salad and fruit or something on toast).

She plays out until about 6pm (we live on a private lane with a few other families so the kids like to play together after school), she eats at about 6pm then shower, reading and lights out for 8pm. We don’t have other homework yet. The evening doesn’t feel particularly rushed.

We don’t do any after school hobbies apart from Mondays as that’s my day off. We save hobbies for weekends.

You might want to do a combination of things to mitigate it...

Go part time so it's not everyday
Do some kind of flexible working or staggered hours with dh
Do play date swaps (my dd is in Reception and we have done this a couple of times already - we did quite a few play dates with this friend until we felt comfortable drop-and-going). This works best if you're part time so you can reciprocate on your day off.

My dd doesn't enjoy wraparound at all and complains about having to go. It's only 3 days a week as I'm part time but still we do our best to arrange play dates etc so she doesn't have to go too often.

It is a squeeze for us to fit the reading in tbh. Dd is exhausted after wraparound and doesn't want to have to think too hard. Sometimes we do the reading first thing in the morning, before or during breakfast.

DS is 7, he's been going to breakfast club at 7 and getting picked up at 5pm. The after school club teacher did express concern to me about how long his days are but there wasn't any option there so he went and loved it. Last couple of weeks we've been able to change it to 8- 16ish and he misses his longer days because they meant more playtime with his friends.

I wouldn’t feel bad, you’d be working and giving your family more cash flow to allow for happy memories and you get all school holidays off to make up for the time apart during term time.
Perhaps look into childminding / nannying options for after school. That way, any homework can be done before you pick up. I also find it nicer to have a smaller setting. My children have never done after school clubs but have childminding arrangements which they love.

good luck!

Lots of families do this. My children have been dropped off at nursery at 730 since they started at 12m.

The only thing to be wary of is availability of care for 3 children full time. They often have wait lists and or limited spaces.

I think 4.30/5 pick up is pretty good tbh. When my DC were around this age I couldn't pick them up until 6.15. But if you're worried about it, could you look into going back to work part time?

It’s not something that would work at all for my family. My sister’s kids do it 4 days a week and seem fine. Depends on the kids/family.

Before I chose wraparound I would look at going part time, look and me and DH both doing 4 days, and look at a nanny or childminder. Nanny cost might surprise you if you’re already going to be paying for breakfast club and after school club for 3 kids. Was going to suggest a nanny share but that probably wouldn’t work with 3 kids if your own, not sure what the nanny ratios are!

Your kids are all very young, and need downtime - downtime at school wraparound is not the ticket imo.

I think it’s something that you’ll all adjust to and will be worth it to not have the headache of worrying about holiday childcare.

I work school hours so don’t have to worry about wraparound care but this means I have to work the holidays so need to find childcare then. I think it’s swings and roundabouts.

Another one asking about part-time (for both of you if that's more equitable and in line with your preferences?). Either three days a week or five mornings a week, for example. Or another adjacent role - teaching/tutoring homeschooling groups during the school day, teaching/tutoring online, exam invigilation, TA work?

Do they get dinner at after school club? DS did 8am until 1630 and he enjoyed it, he had his evening meal there so when we picked him up we could have a more relaxed evening together. It does depend on the child imo, some would probably struggle but plenty are fine! Having the holidays off is a bigger benefit to day to day wraparound I'd say, that'll be lovely to have every holiday off, DS really hated holiday club.

If you are both teachers have you thought about having no after school club on ppa days? (If you have afternoon ppa) I'm primary and a lot of our teachers leave at 2:30 ish on ppa days to a school pick up. If you could manage to both do that there will only be three days of after school club to think about.

Could you afford to work part time? Mine are in wraparound 3 days but with me the other 2. The days with wraparound (with 3 children's homework and activities to fit in!) are hectic and stressful! Don't think 5 would be manageable. Maybe with less children or older children it could work but 3 little ones is a whole different ball game.

It’s hard when you’re both teachers.

Since you want honesty I think it is a lot and I would only do it if I had to. I think a couple of times a week is fine but every day is a lot.

Lots of people do it but it can be hard for the kids, particularly when younger. They get tired and can't fully relax in an after school club the way they could on a sofa at home, and the social stimulation can be overwhelming after a day at school. It also limits opportunities for play dates and extracurriculars (which can then be done on weekends but then they get in the way of ad hoc activities like parties, family visits, day trips etc). In our school, families with 3+ dcs tend to have an after school nanny rather than using after school care as the flexibility makes it better, and a nanny can ferry to clubs, prep dinner, collect other children for a play date etc. But not sure if 2 teacher salaries would cover it.

Working 5 days will also make it impossible to attend any of the dc's school events like assemblies and sports days. Normal for teachers I know, but the ones I know work 3 or 4 days so they have been able to attend the events that happen to be on their non working days.

Work part time (one or both of you)
Work flexible hours or wfh so you avoid the commute and need less time in wraparound (appreciate this isn't possible for teachers but many parents do this nowadays)
Make bedtime a bit later - my Y1 child goes to bed at 8.30.
No extracurriculars unless school run them
Read/homework when you have the most time - we do morning with breakfast
They have dinner at school so just need sandwiches or a light tea

Many, many children are in wraparound so it's hardly unusual. Personally I don't work Fridays so that I can do one pick up, have a chilled afternoon with my son and can take him to his swimming lesson. It works for us.

Also, have you checked there are spaces for all three children? Our after-school club has a huge waiting list, Reception children stand no chance.

It’s absolutely fine. Kids respond well to structured days. Mine did it from age 1 at nursery - to be honest when we moved to an after school nanny (when we lived abroad) it just meant they spent more time watching tv and on screens. Being with lots of other kids is a nice way to start and end the day.

Mine are now in their teens and thinking about career choices. I’m pleased I modelled full time working mum successfully for them .They are proud of my career and I came in for a lot of critical questioning when I took a career break a couple of years back!

Do it - if it’s not working out you can reconsider options down the line. As teachers you have a big big bonus over all working parents that do not get your incredibly long holidays yet still both work full time. You will have copious amounts of quality time with your kids then.

I think missing every school run unless it's absolutely essential would be fairly hard for you and for them.
Could you afford to do a 3 or 4 day week or each do a PPa pick up a week?

I think it depends on your DCs and may vary between them. My DD has much higher energy levels than my DS (6) despite being younger. Their school is 8.30-3.20, 2 days he stays until 4pm to do extra-curricular clubs, and whilst he enjoys them he says the day feels too long and he’s tired. He’s relieved to chill after school, but their school is extremely academic (this will vary). I wouldn’t put anything else in for him atm (swimming is Sat mornings).

My DH teaches Year 3 and I asked him out of interest if he thinks anyone in his class suffer from longer hours. He said 2 children do 5 days a week 7.30-5.30/6, and he honestly didn’t see any differences in their tiredness or well-being levels during the day. He doesn’t think it has a negative impact and those 2 were just as happy as the rest of the class, if that’s any reassurance.

We do a mix.

Twice they are in 7.30 to 6pm. I don't think a 4.30pm pick up is that bad. Some schools finish at that time if the kids do clubs there.

One night they do 9am to 4.15pm owing to a school run club they chose to do.

Twice they do 9am until 3.30pm (normal school day) and I arrange extra curricular these nights.

The days they are in after school club until 6pm they love. It's a playdate with their mates, we just pay for it. It's run by school so they are outside on the playground. School provides a snack and I usually have the slow cooker on so dinner is ready when they get home at 6pm.

Laundry is done on a Friday / Wednesday overnight and hung up before school. I keep on top of it.

We have a cleaner.

We all eat together every night which saves time.

Homework is done at 6.30pm after dinner. Or they do it independently at after school club.

Bath time is 7.30pm and reading / bedtime 8pm and lights off 8.30pm.

In reception bedtime would be a bit earlier. Bath time isn't every night. Reading is.

I think you are very privileged if you think 4.30pm is a late night.

Could you do 3 days a week for the first couple of years? Once they are older it’s easier