School place dilemma

[LozElizaa]

My daughter and niece have attended pre school together since September. Despite living 0.2 miles away from the school (my niece slightly further) neither were offered a place in Reception, and instead both offered the next closest school (10 min drive). It’s a niche situation as we live on a new development saturated with young families. I hated the school she’s been allocated when I viewed it but we’ve been told today a space has become available at her current school! It’s an amazing school rated outstanding and a 5 min walk. My dilemma is my niece is currently 5th on the waiting list and I feel so conflicted at the thought of splitting them up. Realistically I’m not sure 5 children will drop out. Do I keep them together and sacrifice a great school that’s a stones throw away that we know and love? I’m weighing up the pros and cons of which will have the greater benefit.

Take the school you want. Your niece will still be in your life and they can still be close. It's probably very healthy to allow them both the freedoms of their own school friends, especially as they get older.

Take the school you want. The cousins will be close no matter what

Take the school. If you don't take the place, it actually increases the chance your niece gets a place. You could end up in the position where you both got offered a place and turned it down for each other. As you get nearer the start of the year, people get more settled with their choices, so sometimes 1 space can be offered to multiple families if others decline it.

You would be mad to turn down place at your preferred, local school. You're incredibly lucky this place has come up and, if you don't take it, you'll regret it. It could easily be that you reject and 3 months later a space is found for your niece anyway. You can't expect them to reject it too, out of some weird pact to keep the children together no matter what, so they may end up at different schools anyway and that would be through your own foolishness. Definitely accept it. Don't accept what you feel would be a substandard educational opportunity for your child, just so she can stay with a friend (who also happens to be family and will therefore always be in her life anyway).

The cousins will still see lots of each other out of school (I presume?) to retain their bond. It may even be healthy for them to have a bit of distance, if your niece doesn't get a place too. I wouldn't rule it out though. Even at oversubscribed schools numbers can change so much between now and September. Number 5 really isn't that far down the list, provided loads more people don't move into the area between now and then and bump her further down. You've seen yourself that a space has already come up just one week on from allocations. People can and do turn down places at even popular, oversubscribed schools, mainly because they've either decided to opt for private, or because they have moved. Also, not everyone on the waiting list ahead of your niece may accept if offered the place (like you are in two minds). Many people get use to the idea of what they're allocated, or are just as happy with it as they would have been their first choice, so opt to stick with what they've been given (especially after September, once their child has already started and settled). A place could easily come up soon for your niece too.

What would your sibling do if it were them offered the place? If you turn down the place it will increase your nieces chances of getting in, and she may be offered a place before September. Would she take it? Then your dd will be at the school you don’t like without her. I’d take the place.

You’re never going to be offered a place for both of them at the same time, but your niece may get in in time. Take the place.

Take the place. Obviously.
I have a niece the same age as my DD (3 months age difference) and whilst they were close at five, they are two VERY different people now. They get on and are social when together but they wouldn't be close friends if they were at school - they are too different.

Definitely take the place! Hopefully your niece will get one soon

Take the place

Take the place at the school you wanted, madness not to.

A school you can walk to and a school a ten minute drive away? Why are you hesitating! You live closer to the school, so that is why you have been offered the place, you are not bribing the admissions team to get one over on your other family members, it’s as though you have won a prize, you don’t turn it down because your sister didn’t win a prize too.

And with you off the waiting list your nieces chances of a place improve as well.

Accept the place. Strangely, it reminded me of a storyline in the TV programme Breeders where the bright daughter purposely failed the 11 plus as she did not think her best friend would pass. You can guess what happened.

Its not like you're never going to see your niece again if they go to different schools!

Also, 5 children may not need to drop out. Some may be happy with their current allocation by the time it gets to them or have a place at another school

How would you feel if you didn’t take the place, went to a school you hate and then find your niece moves or that actually they’re not very good friends. You have to treat your child as an individual not an extension of your niece and do what is going to be best long term for them.

Definitely take the place. If you don't take the place, would your niece's parents think twice about accepting?

@LozElizaawhat did you decide in the end?