ds really upset he has no friends

[adelicatequestion]

Today ds came home from school upset that his one friend said he didn;t like him (I know this happens)and he said that all the other children in his class "don't know how XXXX puts up with him"

When I asked him why they said this, he said because I talk too much.

What can we do to help him. He is completely incapable of not talking, and will not accept that this is something he has control over.

There are times that he is immensely irritating and will not shut up and has no idea that he is annoying people. Even when i said, have you thought about not talking so much and maybe then making some new friends - he doesn't understand.

HOw old is he and how does the teacher deal with his talking? My ds is 5.5 yo and doesn't stop talking but the teacher manages this by giving him time before break to have his say. It is immensely hard for them to keep what is in their head from coming out . DS has loads of friends and they don't seem to mind him . My worry is that my ds won't grow out of it because my MIL really doesn't stop talking ever and doesn't listen to anything that is said. She asks questions and answers them for you. Result is she really doesn't have any friends and I won't answer the phone. That is an extreme though

Perhaps you could put in terms of listening more rather than talking less. If he likes to talk he might understand how frustrating it would be to have someone who only ever talks and never listens to him.

Good idea OrmIrian

Do you mean explain to him the importance of listening to people and the importance of 2 way communication.?

Yes, that's it. Obviously my communication was somewhat lacking there

I think you may be on to something. In the car today, I was talking to him and asked him a question. Instead of answering, he asked me a question on a completely unrelated topic. He hadn;t heard me at all.

When he was young he had a lot of hearing problems with glue ear and had grommets and I wonder if he just missed a development phase of listening.

Did you speak to your DS about this adq? Any help ?

Just following on from OrmIrian's idea about encouraging him to listen more rather than talk less. Maybe you could make a game of it by saying he has to come home and tell you three things that his friend said during the day, so he'd concentrate on hearing the friend's conversation more.

My ds 14 still is a bit like this. When he's on a roll with telling you something he totally misses the signals that someone is changing the subject. If you ask a question to try and steer him another way, he'll totally not hear you.