Bullying problem at school

[RedNortherner]

Hi. This is my first post on MN but I have lurked for a while. I've now got an issue that I could use some wise words on so I am hoping someone may be able to share their experience with me.

My God-daughter is 9 and in January her family moved house which meant she had to move schools. She seemed to have settled in well at her new school but is now having some problems with "bullies" (her description of the child / children).

The "bullying" appears to be that these children "steal her friends away". Her mum (my Best Friend) has been in to school and the matter is being dealt with but my GD is not really talking to her mum about the problem.

I saw GD last week and she mentioned what was going on at school and got quite upset. Now it's time for me to step up and help her through this but I'm worried that I don't know what to say. I have a DD but she is only 3 so haven't had to deal with this kind of thing yet.

As I said her mum is dealing with the school but my GD needs someone to turn to and to talk to. We have always been close and I want to be the person she can rely on. Can anyone share any experience of dealing with this age group? Is this normal playground behaviour at this age?

TIA

I have no experience of 9yos but I'm sure just listening to her will help. Active listening so she knows someone is really paying attention to what she's saying, rather than normal conversation where the other person is often thinking about what they will say next or how to solve the problem.

Might be worth looking at the Kidscape website - in fact there are loads of charities doing work on bullying, have a google. But I would definitely listen carefully rather than jump in with solutions unless she specifically asks you for ideas.

Thanks. I think you are right about the listening - it's just hard when they go through this sort of thing to know what to do as your instinct is to "make it all right"

Will have a look at the website.

Does your gd meet with the children she has made friends with out of school? Do you live close to your gd and would it be possible for you to organise an outing where you could take your gd and some of her friends out in the hope of them socialising without the bullies being aware of what is happening? She may be more receptive to you organising the outing rather than her mum.

Grav1 - Yes she does meet with her friends outside school and does "play out" a lot. I think the issue is partly confidence in the playground environment. I live about an hour away but I'm thinking of doing something at half term with her and see if she wants to bring her friends along or even just have some time with her on her own to give her chance to talk.

Amicissima - Thanks for the link. Will have a look.