Which school to choose?

[Bubnbutton]

Please help! I’m so torn - chosen a school we both like. (I know we get decisions next week) but I’m now regretting my choice for a school I didn’t put down purely (I think) down to socialising/friendships. I know that’s not a reason to pick a school but obviously want my child to be happy and have friends they can turn to and play with.
I thought the smaller the better but now I’m worried it’s too small. Am I wrong?

Which school would you choose please?

School 1:
Currently in the Pre-school there
3 in current year group - 5 when in mixed classes.
20 min drive
Different teachers throughout the week

School 2:
Did their outdoor pre-school, (pulled out to put in classroom based pre- school to get ready for September so wasn’t such a shock to the system to go from outdoor play to sitting down in the classroom)
14 in class - 22 when in mixed classes.
10 minute drive
Same teacher throughout the week

Both have same Ofsted result. Had friends from both pre-schools albeit more from school 2 due to larger numbers. Can’t avoid mixed classes in our area.

Thanks for your help.

School 1 only has 3 kids in the year group? Definitely school 2. Aside from the severely limited friendship options I'd be concerned about school 1s viability long term with such low numbers. My kids school have low 20s in their classes and it feels a good size. (State school but old building so small class sizes due to regulations)

To add.. a 20 minute drive is quite a way to primary school - with parking up and taking them in your looking at an hour round trip twice a day. So school 2 based on the commute also.

Only 3 kids in the class? This school will be closed soon.

3 in current year group - 5 when in mixed classes.

🫨

School 2, without a doubt.

School one is worryingly small. I would be shocked if it remains open for the duration of your child's time at primary school.

School 2 without a doubt. 3 in the year sounds very lonely and what if they don’t get on or have a falling out? I’d take a 10 minute commute over 20 too.

I would also be worried about different teachers every day.

Definitely school 2.
3 in current year group is too small - what happens if on leaves or 2 or 3 are best mates because the mums are friends?
14 (or 22) is more likely a size where ds can meet someone like himself.
As the kids get older, they may split off in boys and girls. The tiny school would be difficult if the other 3 are all girls or something.

School 2 definitely.

I also think it sounds like you risk overthinking minor details to the detriment of your childs overall wellbeing, getting caught up in the details and missing the bigger picture.

Friendships do not matter at this age, having slightly less exposure to sitting at a desk is a non issue compared to bring constantly moved about and unsettled. The most important thing to do at this stage is not to switch between these schools and not to let your DD know you have doubts. She should only be hearing the good stuff and feeling secure in the next steps her life is going to take.

School 2. Closer and a more viable size.

Thank you - that’s my main concern! The mixed older classes have I think somewhere between 8-12 kids. So definitely the smallest class. There are only 32 kids in whole school which is why I liked how small it is. Nothing to say other kids won’t join but doubt in my child’s year group which means potential loneliness and possible friendship issues. One opposite sex with additional needs not a problem at all, but not someone they gel with and the other, same sex - totally different personalities. Worry they would clash and my child would be unhappy not having many friends and would hate education due to constantly learning and not having anyone to play with.

Regarding viability of the school, this also crossed my mind although I have been assured due to the ‘community’ the school has around it that wouldn’t happen - I’m not convinced.

I really thought smaller would be better, basically 121 learning but now think would they would learn better with more kids around that are the same age rather others in different year groups?

Thank you - I haven’t shared any of my feelings with my child yet. Too young to really understand I think anyway.

IDo they need ‘besties’ or a friendship group at this age. Will it be harder to transition from a class of 5 to 30+ when in middle school?

I really just want them to be happy and love going to school. Looking back, I went to a small school - not as small as this but use to hate when my bestie was off Ill. It made school miserable for me. Would they be better in a bigger class? I also don’t want them to just be a number in a bigger class?

Am I over thinking this?

I feel there are so many pro’s and con’s for each and I’m having sleepless nights about it 😢

Mixed classes work well - especially if your child is born early/late in the school year as their abilities and social interests will overlap with the year above/below. It’s sad when the older ones move up but with numbers that small, they’d be in the same class again every other year.

My first child, obviously they are the world be me and I don’t want to chop and change. I need to get this right for September.

32 kids in the whole school?! Goodness, far too small for most kids and surely at risk of closure.

I say this as a mum who was quite happy at smaller classes (my son was originally due to have 12 and ended with 6) but actually then realised it was awful. He was lucky, happy as Larry as had two close friends he got on with so well. But school is about socialising, learning social rules and how to work with different others, managing disputes etc. I thought woo what great education he’ll get but it doesn’t work like that at all.

I feel there are so many pro’s and con’s for each and I’m having sleepless nights about it

What are the pros for school 1?
I honestly can't see any reason to choose the school.

School two:

Closer
Has small classes
The same teacher throughout the week
More children to play with

I also can't see any pros for School 1. Primary should be fun and much of that is to do with friendships. Your kid will have so few options. Go with School 2. It sounds fantastic!

A class size of 3 is ridiculous, that will really impact social development and result in a child playing with and learning from different aged children (not always a good thing, my nephew is in similar situation and now at the age of 10 his best friend is a 15 year old...). At that age they don't need 1:1 tuition, they need a playful environment where they get joy from learning and hanging out with their buddies. These early years are really important.
On the other hand, class size of 3 for GSCE or A-level - wonderful!

When mine were in a small school, (but bigger than yours, 16 was average class size) they found 7 was when a class went from effective to problematic.

There are quite a few rural in my county similar size to school 1 but they have 2 classes, EYFS/KS1 and KS2

@Littlebitofthisandthat
actually that’s a really good point! Thank you.

@Whinge
now I read it back, probably true! What are the good points? I liked how small it was, think I chose it cos it was so small but now doubting myself!
Has a wonderful teacher although this will be changing September. I’m sure new one will be just as wonderful though. Already there, says they like it there, saves moving etc. I don’t know anymore! 😭

@BubnbuttonThat tiny school is very very limiting! How can you envisage your dc there? What about sport teams? Music making and drama? Let alone limited friend possibilities that probably don’t live near you. The other school is obviously better. The constant change of teachers is poor and lack of money must be seriously chronic! Teaching head I assume then a series of other teachers coming in. Small is not better. Small in ks2 can be a disaster. If school 2 doesn’t fill up, you could change your application and get in.

Thanks all. You’ve really helped me think about things I haven’t thought about! Really appreciate it.

Agreed!

This is a no contest situation school 1 sounds untenable and stifling plus every pro people look for in a school is met by school 2. I honestly cannot see why school 1 would be even in contention.

@TizerorFizz thank you, good point. Currently re sports etc, the whole school gets involved at once I believe. I have been told there are spaces in both, but to wait till decisions come out next week to change.

MN can be a little disparaging about small schools, dooming them to closure. My children will go to a school with fifty children in it (the whole school) and far from being sentenced to the knackers yard, it’s thriving. I do think some people just don’t understand rural communities very well. That said, I’d also go for school 2.

Is this infants only, or all the way up to 11?
If the latter I'd definitely pick the bigger one. The change to secondary was massive for my dc from their school with 100 pupils to that many (more even) in a year group.