Stratagies needed for when a child is mean to you

[NotABanana]

I know pushing and shoving etc is all part of school life and growing up but my 7 year old was in tears last night after the same child has been hasseling him and making fun of him again. They also pushed him. I know he seems an early target as he doesn't retaliate in anyway.

We have given him a couple of things to try but would be interested in what you can come up with.

It really upset me last night to see him so low.

TIA.

Hi NAB

Watching with interest. DD (4) told me today that a girl at pre-school said she hated her but liked everyone else . I had no idea what to say other than she must have been having a bad day and to play with someone else.

"Partial agreement" can work quite well for name calling. E.g.

"You smell" - "Well some people might think I do".

"You're thick" - "Hmm, well I suppose I might seem thick to some people"

"Four eyes" - "Hmm, you're right I do wear glasses"

"I hate you" - "Oh, maybe you do" (shug shoulders and walk off)

The idea is that the child who is being called names agrees a bit with what is being said but not totally. They should try to keep it very deadpan and not get upset. It's very hard for the other child to argue with this response and it's not much fun for them because there is no explosive fireworks or tears from the child who is being picked on.

If you were going to encourage your DS to do this though, I would suggest lots of role-playing practice at home before testing it out on the playground.