OK, I know this sounds ridiculous

[Amandella]

But I'm having nightmares about my dd starting in Reception in September. We have an older child who goes to a different (state) school and she's doing fine and since I gave up work to look after my kids, I've managed to get to know quite a few mums and feel accepted into the school community. However, for various complex reasons we have decided to put our youngest into a different (private) school and she starts in Sept. However, my neighbour, upon hearing that she was going to this particular school said, and I quote "Wow, you're putting her in there are you. Well, I hope you know what you're letting yourself in for. None of the mums will want to know you as you are not at their level (!"?!?) and it's all about how big your house is and how much money daddy earns"....Oh MY GOD. I could have died. Firstly, we live in a very nice area and our house is not massive, but it's a nice 4 bedroom townhouse and I'm not ashamed of it. The children love our home but now I'm thinking that poor dd is going to feel embarrassed by us and/or our house if all the other kids have massive places and come from terribly well off parents (we are not!). I also now wonder whether I'll be accepted by the parents - I'm not particularly shy but I'm also not that confident and already I feel undermined by these women (whoever they are !!).... I have to say that I have heard a couple of similar albeit tamed down comments from other friends but I always felt that our dd is just as entitled to go to this school as anyone else but am I setting her up for a fall?? Am I putting her in a horrible situation?? I have to say that I do think I'm being slightly irrational but nonetheless it's really on my mind. I don't know anyone else at this school but it seemed so lovely and friendly when we looked around and the teachers not at all snobby that I felt at ease immediately. However, I hadn't met any parents then!! I'm SCARED of the school run already and imagine myself being the one standing all alone with no-one talking to her!!!
Someone, please put this in perspective and give me some good ideas about how I can break the ice without seeming like a freak!!!

Thanks so much for reading the babble......

How would your neighbour know?

Just be yourself and ffs make sure you instil in your children that they are 'good enough' for anyone/anything

You're being neurotic, people will like you, not everyone is as hung up on status as your neighbour and (maybe) you.

Your neighbor sounds like she has ishoos. Don't let her comments get to you and make you scared, after all, on what authority is she spouting all of this?

At my DS school there are people who live in flats, live in small houses, mansions...there are those who drive a 15 year old Volvo and some a Porsche. There are some that have never had a foreign holiday to pay the fees.

If someone judges me on what I have - or don't - then they are no friend. And your neighbour - she has first hand experience of this school?

Sounds like she has more than a few preconceptions . Ours has a mixture and it is fine once you find your niche.

my kids have been to various private schools and have made friends with kids from completely different backgrounds.
Your neighbour sounds as though she is spouting her own prejudices.
I have a mix of friends from each school and have friends still from nursery. Some are minted ,some are on benefits. Who cares. they are nice people.
(And as my children are currently in private schools I am annoyed that she is presenting me in that way).
Turn up, smile, be yourself - and you will make friends. No problem.

Mmmm I just realised that my neighbour doesn't actually have kids!!! What a prat I am to listen to her!!
Laurafairycakes - thanks so much for pointing out that I'm neurotic and have status issues. I felt so much more confident once I'd read your message . Sorry if my worries seem a little over the top but I did say it sounded ridiculous in the title....
Thanks for all the helpful responses, I do appreciate them.

I did not say you were neurotic, I said you were being neurotic because you asked to have it put in perspective.

There's a big difference

You are not "setting her up for a fall" - you are doing the right thing for you and your family. You are just as good as anyone else.

Amandella.

Your neighbour's a bitch!

end of.

Look, don't worry. I mean I can't talk because I don't do the whole school run community thang, I haven't got time for it. But I've met lots of mums over the years, some stonkingly rich and nice, some poor and nice and y'know, everyone's okay.

Chill out

If it makes you feel any better, why not organise a couple of playdates for your DD? It'll help her settle in and it'll help you get to know one or two of the other mums in a stress free environment

Laurafairycake - sorry for being over sensitive. You are right, there is a big difference! and I do appreciate everyone's responses, putting this in perspective. At the end of the day, I've decided my neighbour is a nightmare. Last night she came round to ask me to look after her cat and within 5 mins had slagged off two lovely women who live on our road. I have no idea what her problem is except that she's very bitter. Anyway, I'm going to just be myself and encourage my dd to do the same and we'll see how things go. The idea of organising a couple of playdates is great and I'll definitely do that. Thanks so much.