Tips on making a child more confident in class

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DD has been at school (part time) since January and she loves going. But, we are fully aware that she only fires on about 25% of her 'normal' self at school. At home she is a very different child, happy, fun, talkative, funny, stroppy, argumentative etc etc!

At school though she barely speaks, she doesn't put her hand up to answer questions that she knows the answers to. For example, today, driving to school she came up with (she initiated this) 10 different 'B' words (they are doing letter B this week). At school she didn't take part at all and refused to answer.

Some of this stems from living abroad in a unsocial, non-English speaking country and some of it is that she doesn't like her teacher . SOme of this is also heriditary (both DH and I are not the most outgoing of people). She is beginning to make friends and will now join in lessons like music and PE...these lessons though are with a specialist teacher so she isn't with her class teacher!

I'm not worried about her not performing, I would just like her to fire at 50% of her normal self.
Any tips on how to make her a little more confident in class.

Just bumping!

My dd1 is practically silent in class, she's 8 now and her teacher told me that dd1 didn't speak to her for the first half term of this school year at all. And she was the only one in the whole class not to do a small presentation on something.

I know dd1 minds being shy, what we do is reassure her it's ok to be quiet and not to always want to speak in a group. That way she worries less.

I have no idea why she's like this, we are not a particularly quiet or shy family really, and dd2 never shuts up in class or at home. It seems a shame that she won't talk much at school but maybe it doesn't really matter, dd1 is happy at school, and she has close friends.

have you thought of a drama club for her? This always helps.

Actually, it used to make me quite angry when teachers were always saying my dd1 was quiet and shy. So f-ing what? Quiet is not a negative trait. Why is it bad, as long as she's happy. Let her be herself. DD1 learnt to come out of her shell over time on her own if it helps, but she's still not the most outgoing of girls. No problem for me!

Does she do any other activities? We found that ds1 was much happier about going to school and generally more confident on Monday if he had had a fun weekend, ie if dh and I had done things with him, taken him to park or swimming or something.

Some children really just take a long while to settle in and get confident in their environment. My dd2 didn't even venture outside (they had free access) in Nursery until she had been there nearly 2 terms, but was totally confident by the time she left a year later.
Encouraging friendships within the class helps.

PuppyMonkey, I agree, it's dd1's personality and not necessarily a flaw. She's a charming, quiet, thoughtful, happy person. But takes a while to talk in groups.

I don't want to sound trite but I truly believe that just loving her, accepting her and taking her with you to a range of different social situations will give her the security she needs at home to cope at school, so I personally wouldn't do anytihng differently to what you're already doing.

I was just like your DD sounds at her age and found school very difficult until I was about 10, then I was lucky enough to have an amzing teacher, and from then on I loved it (and stayed in education until the age of 25!).

Most of my dearest friends described themselves as very shy, sensitive and quiet children. I think they now have such lovely personalities and social skills because they've spent so much time observing others, and also know how it feels to experience shyness, so they're better at considering the feelings of others.

Fennel - that description could apply to me too actually and I've survived ok..

Thank you all for your replies.

I should set up some playdates with the other kids in her class. She is only doing mornings at the moment (I don't want her going for longer yet as she is still young)- the only child in her class to do so, so I pick her up after lunch...all the rest get picked up at 3.10pm, it is hard to talk with the other parents then.

She has a very full, varied life with lots of different experiences. We just want to give her a good all round life. Maybe she can use these experiences in the classroom eventually.

Hopefully next year she will get a different teacher that 'gets' her and can help her develop the confidence within in the school.

Thank you again.