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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

SCARED OF SCHOOL RUN

13 replies

YAP · 13/05/2008 13:39

I need some help getting perspective as I am becoming obsessed with the school run which I will be doing from September when DS1 starts school. My problem is a Dad who does the school run and really hates me. he misses no opportunity to wind me up, leer at me, be insulting and even has accelerated his car at me and kids when he's seen us out and about. I'm really worried at the potential for conflict and worse twice a day and it's beginning to take over my thoughts so that I'm more worried about that than DS1 starting school. This man is a bully and hates me because I have stood up to his bullying ways in the past. Please give me some advice how to stop thinking about this.

OP posts:

nametaken · 13/05/2008 13:43

Could your dh do the school run.
Could you go by a different route.
Could you share the school run.
Could you walk instead of drive.

iheartdusty · 13/05/2008 13:44

what is your connection with him? he sounds awful

is there anyone who could warn him off, or can you arrange to go with a friend?

Mellowma · 13/05/2008 13:45

Message withdrawn

Mellowma · 13/05/2008 13:46

Message withdrawn

nametaken · 13/05/2008 13:51

Can you tell us more

Why don't you just call the police? That's why the police were invented. To stop nasty bullies accelerating at women and children.

Original poster

YAP · 13/05/2008 13:59

Police have been involved in the past re vandalism to my home and anonymous letters but really weren't that helpful. Kind of a case of once he hurts me then they might help. The problem goes back a long time and there has been no contact for several years now so hoping he won't want to kick off again but don't know if he'll be able to resist.
I don't have a real connection with him - we just brushed swords a few times and he really hates me now.
I think of lots of practical solutions re sharing/ timing etc but I just want to stop worrying about it. By the way, it's when we have been on foot that he has zoomed his car at us.

OP posts:

Mellowma · 13/05/2008 14:02

Message withdrawn

Original poster

YAP · 13/05/2008 14:03

I mean deliberate contact. As we live in the same community there's always potential for contact and when we happen upon each other he is always nasty.

My current approach is to pretend I haven't noticed him but I literally shake after these encounters.

OP posts:

Original poster

YAP · 13/05/2008 14:04

It is a busy school and there are always a lot of people about at that time of day so I'm hoping he won't want his child and other people to witness his behaviour.

OP posts:

nametaken · 13/05/2008 14:23

Even though the police didn't do anything you must still tell them about any incidences that may occur. I bet he's known to them anyway. Maybe he's on licence?

I wouldn't worry too much. People are usually on their best behaviour at school run time anyway, lots of witnesses etc etc.

rey · 13/05/2008 21:13

Is it possible to be with others when doing the school run for example if you walk set off at the same time as others who you can join up with along the way if not from the beginning. Just thinking about having witnesses. He may of course have tired by September or better still have moved. Could you do a martial arts course so that at least your body language might help. I'm not saying you show him you are weak because he is just a plain bully fancy picking on a woman never mind how sexist that sounds but what kind of a man will he show himself to be if he continues along the school run. I really feel for you and your ds I really really do hope he moves away. How do asbo's work? Catalogue everything see your doctor see the head see your councillor anything that could help you but in the main stand with your head held high no matter how much you want to run. Easy for me to say I know, why oh why do people like him have to be like that, think along those lines that he must have a very sad life. Sorry to go on I just really feel for you.

Original poster

YAP · 14/05/2008 09:13

Thanks Rey. I will try to arrange to meet others on the way. I think others on here are right when they say he will not want witnesses to bad behaviour - that's how bullies work I think. If anything starts up again I will see the head and keep a record of all incidents. I know this sounds mad but I haven't wanted to tell other mums locally of my concerns because I don't want to seem weak. The responses I have had here make me feel more able to tell the mums I am close to.

OP posts:

rey · 17/05/2008 14:45

Not being sexist but a man going for a woman in such a way it's him that's weak. Wish you luck and hope you can stop worrying about it. Maybe it would be an idea to do school run now and see who walks along your route with ones your own child's age. Wish you all the best YAP.

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