School Investigation

[Charliebear2020]

My DS who is 11 and in year 6, had a child threaten him on a class chat. A child posted a video and he said he didn't like this particular character but another, and he literally recieved a hate campaign from 2 individuals which ended with one sending a threatening message of violence. This wasn't threatening to punch them, but more in the context that would require hospitalisation and potentially surgery. The details may mean this isn't confidential hence me not expanding. I reported to the school as DS was worried about going. I kept screen shots of the messages but the school refused to view these as they stated they couldn't. Their solution was to interview everyone on the group chat to no real conclusion (surprisingly, no one admitted to seeing the threat but I can prove 2 children reacted to it). So they then proceeded to sit DS (who is SEN) in the same room as the the one who threatened him to understand and resolve the issue. My DS said they told him no one saw anything on the chat and asked him if it happened to which he affirmed it did. He then said teachers told him they were bringing the perpetrators in to discuss and he said "ok" as he didn't feel he could say no. I naturally wanted to discuss this with the school to understand their reasoning and they have said DS asked for and prefered them to be in the same room. He wet himself telling me about this happening, so I feel there was certainly some distress there. However, the school proceeded to laugh in my face saying I didn't know how DS felt, and that sitting them down together was a procedure they felt necessary. They also said they didn't have to support as it was off school grounds and implied I should be grateful for some intervention from them.
I just would like to understand if this is actually normal procedure or if anyone has experienced this. It wasn't dealt with under the bullying policy as I was told its not repeated enough to be dealt with under that policy. There have been incidents in school also which they are aware about, so this is not isolated. I have a younger child at the school also.
Any help and advice on this appreciated from personal experience and those with expertise in this area. Thank you in advance.

Wow! (Teacher here). This sounds awful. How upsetting for your boy.

So has another child threatened to put your child into surgery or has threatened to (for instance) stab him, and this is your interpretation? I do think school are doing the right thing to find out more about exactly what everyone is saying before deciding on next steps.

I think the school is behaving in an appalling manner and I’d look up their complaints procedure and report to governors or academy trust.

It is not appropriate to sit a victim down with the bullies and interview them all together . Not hard to Imagine the level of fear and intimidation that creates.

On the other hand: what is your 11 yo doing in a class chat? Why does this even exist at this age? You imply that this is not a school chat, so I’m guessing WhatsApp or similar?

I think it’s brilliant that you’re closely supervising the class chat but many parents won’t be; you should withdraw your son. And it would be better if school were strongly reinforcing to parents that social media use under 13 should not be occurring.

Lastly I’d add that every school I’ve ever known has taken bullying and misbehaviour outside school seriously. It’s extremely relevant to the pupils concerned inside the school gates. It is impossible for a junior school to supervise social media use on encrypted apps so I do understand that they are reluctant in this area but they need to understand that a violent threat is a violent threat, however it is delivered - and the seriousness of that is enough to warrant school taking ta strong approach.

Anothet child posted a video of say Spider-Man and your ds said something like I don’t like Spider-Man only Batman, the child then said I’ll fight you/put you in hospital? I would probably just think he was showing off and badly trying to be funny rather than actually threatening him in that situation.
if nothing has happened in school there’s not much the school should do other than monitor and try and resolve the situation.
If ds is upset from being on the class chat then I would remove him, it sounds like the school isn’t keen on the idea of a class chat either.

They stated what they would do and it was a very violent act. The school refused to use the evidence I had of this though saying they couldn't which may be true. When I quoted policies in the bullying policy, they said it doesn't count as bullying as its not "repeated enough", which I sort of understand as bullying is defined as being repeated over time. This individual has been reported before (by me and another parent that I know too) but it's not repeated enough in their eyes

Schools must be driven demented dealing with issues caused by parents giving smartphones to kids…

I'm also a teacher and there is so much wrong with this. There is no reason the school can't look at the screenshot of the chat. We are not allowed to view potentially indecent images but that's not the case here. I would follow up with a complaint and if you get nowhere, you could think about involving the police as you have evidence of a threat to your child's safety.

It was whatsapp (now deleted). Someone added him into the chat and to begin with, it was just general chit chat and sharing what they were doing over holidays etc. But then the bullies joined the chat and it went downhill so to speak. DS became a target over this one video and it literally didn't stop. He even said we should all just like what we like and not talk about it to try and diffuse the situation, but they carried on until this threat. Two children reacted angrily to it and said it was out of order. He had whatsapp initially so he could video call a relative who is partially deaf on his paternal side as well as his Dad. I sometimes work away so it gave him independence to speak to them freely as he wanted and he understood and was very sensible, but he is now just doing this off my phone and his stepdads phone if I am not here. I go through his phone every night and monitor activity through a parent/family app and his phone is restricted also.

This is why 11 year olds shouldn’t have what’s app - this wouldn’t have happened without it. Its encrypted so you will struggle to prove the threat ever happened.

The school should be doing something. Look at their behaviour policy - there should be something in there about responding to incidents out of school or online. The government guidance says:

Many online behaviour incidents amongst young people occur outside the school day
and off the school premises. Parents are responsible for this behaviour. However, often
incidents that occur online will affect the school culture. Schools should have the
confidence to sanction pupils when their behaviour online poses a threat or causes harm to another pupil, and/or could have repercussions for the orderly running of the school, when the pupil is identifiable as a member of the school or if the behaviour could adversely affect the reputation of the school.

I am a school leader and sadly spend too much of my time dealing with incidents where pupils are using apps they shouldn’t be on.

If your DS was added to the chat, that means he has his own number and is using his own name. Sorry, OP, but you have facilitated this. Are yours and DH's phone password protected so he can't use your phones whenever he chooses? In trying to do a good thing for him, you have unwittingly caused a problem. The threat does sound serious enough to report to the police.

Thank you so much for this. I will look this up. Whatsapp is now deleted from his phone and was once I had the evidence of the chat from this

Yes our phone is password protected. Any game he wants regardless of what it is has to be requested in the family app. I then have to use my finger print to approve this on my phone. He had a phone to call his dad and Grandma initially. And so they could speak to him if I were away - we live over an hour from them so they can't just come to see him. He shared his number with 3 friends who he does activities out of school with, one who added him to the chat - but then more were added hence why it is now deleted. It is all in my name and email address and I can monitor activity from my phone and track his phone

I think the school is behaving in an appalling manner and I’d look up their complaints procedure and report to governors or academy trust.
It is not appropriate to sit a victim down with the bullies and interview them all together . Not hard to Imagine the level of fear and intimidation that creates.*
Oh absolutely agree, but is this not the much celebrated 'restorative justice'?
Getting attackers/bullies and their victims together to make nice?

This is no longer true. Bullying can be a one off. Big change this year in safeguarding policies.

My dc have a rule - no large groups and no whole class WhatsApp groups at all. This is because we learned the hard way that they are nothing but trouble. Thankfully school (secondary) absolutely looked at screen shots and took action, no idea why primary isn’t but I’d feel inclined to go to the police if my dc received those threats. If someone I knew sent me that, I’d not hesitate but with dc we let school deal with it, which is fine when they do. School is being pathetic here imo and not demonstrating the seriousness, which won’t help those making the threats in the long run either.

Wow, amazing and thank you for this. Do you know where I can find this information for reference?

Bypass the school and report to the police.

Schools spend hours of their time trying to sort out online issues. IMO children shouldn’t have access to messaging apps at all. They are a bully’s best friend and can cause no end of unpleasantness. I don’t think the school investigation was up to much but actually, if your child is really feeling that intimidated and there have been threats of violence then it’s a police matter. As a school, we have told parents that it is up to them to deal with these issues. You give them a phone and access to apps they’re not old enough for, this is what inevitably happens. Why is it a school problem?

I think specifics are key here while also appreciate that you might not want to share exactly what has been threatened. It's easy for a child to type 'I'm going to punch you in the face' while having no intention of doing it, just wanting to look cool/hard/edgy. This is why I can see the school's perspective that sitting down to help the other child understand the impact on your ds might be quite helpful if they feel that following their discussions that what their hypothesis is, especially given their background knowledge of the child. Sure you can decline if not in your ds' interests, but I don't think it's an unreasonable response from them.

if the kid is over age 10 why can’t you call the police and report it as he’s over the age of criminal responsibility or whatever (my legal knowledge is limited). But if it was truly that violent? What would you do if it was a work colleague doing this to you? Honestly I commented on a post earlier similarly - if you think your son is at risk don’t send him!

It was multiple references to disfiguring him if that helps without being too outing still. They were considering which one to act out and said they would decide over the weekend.