Which school would you choose?

[NorthernMom]

I know this is a privileged problem but here goes

We currently have our eldest child (Y1) at a large independent school which goes all the way through to Y13. However we feel it is too academic so we are moving him.

There is another large independent school, very similar, in fact almost identical, in facilities but with a different (more nurturing) method of teaching. Both schools get similar academic results, often swapping positions from one year to the next. They are both Co-Ed.

Both of the above schools are a car ride away - approx 30 mins including parking up and dropping off etc, then 20/25 mins home.

However, there is a local prep (up to y6 - we are in the North of England so no common entrance at either) which is a ten minute walk from home. Its facilities cannot compete with the larger school but it has a great co-curricular program, probably marginally superior to the larger school. Both do plenty of school trips including residentials and ski/sports trips etc. My middle child is currently at the nursery at the local prep and he is very happy. However, we want both children to be at the same school from September 2025 so we either move my eldest to this one and keep the middle child here or move them both to the new larger school. If the choice is to go to the local prep we would be looking at them going to the larger independent school for Y7.

The local prep has very small class sizes - y1 is 4 children currently. Y2 is 9. I think the smallest year group is reception with 4 and the largest is the current y6 with 11. They combine two classes every afternoon for the non maths and English lessons so the children have more people to interact with. By contrast the larger school has class sizes of approximately 15 with two form entry so a total year group of 30.

Fees wise the local prep is very keen to keep fees affordable and even with the VAT now levied on fees have some great creative ideas to this end. The larger school is in my view more commercially focused and has a community that will continue there regardless of fees, so in my view is more likely to charge “what it can get away with”. For example, the larger school does not offer sibling discounts (I have three children). The difference in fees between the two is approximately £3’000.00 per annum now. Whilst we find this acceptable, my concern is that over the next few years as the new VAT on fees settles in, the gap may widen.

Both my husband and I work flexibly and mainly from home so we can do the commute in absolute terms but obviously the longer we spend going to and from school means the less work we can do / have to do in the evenings. The local option also means the children can ride their bikes and dust off the cobwebs before and after school.

We want our children to be children and their prep years to inspire a love of learning. I would really appreciate some thoughts on which way to go.

Thanks for reading xx

I don't have experience of private schools but walking to and from school with your kids each day is gold dust for their self regulation. That would heavily influence my decision.

Go with the larger school.

Homestly I would be concerned how your local school can afford to stay open. Those class sizes are very small. Can they support sports teams for example?

I think the local prep sounds more nurturing but I'd be concerned about it's long term viability. Those numbers are tiny and make it very susceptible to going bust. If you are prepared to take the risk, put your children in the prep but be half ready to seek to transfer to one of the all through if it does end up closing.

Thank you @CostcoBuns thats very helpful. My eldest definitely goes through the after school decompression so this is a big factor for me 👍🏼

Thanks @CandidPoet @OpalTraybake @TickingAlongNicely for your opinions. In terms of long term viability I’m not too worried. The school is part of a wider group which has other well financed schools including some international schools which obviously protects them somewhat from VAT on fees. My concern with the small class sizes is more to do with social groups and sports teams. They mix the ages so they can still play all the sports and have inter group tournaments so they have other schools to play against. It’s not ideal by any stretch and with the other schools having great sports pavilions and pitches obviously creates much better sporting opportunities. I’m just thinking how important I should let that be in my decision for prep, rather than secondary education.

I have experience of both and would say these are the things I would consider

1. Smaller school don’t really have sports teams. If your kid is sporty and there are only say 10 kids in the class they don’t have enough for a team.
2. Small schools have limited extra curricula due to numbers.
3. Small numbers mean very limited choices for friends: if your kid is fall out with say two kids there are no more friends to be had.
4. If your kid does extra curricula outside of school the school commute may clash.
5. Walking to school with friends is huge. What if work needs you to be in or you are ill and can’t take your child?

I wouldn’t send my kids to private (I have been to both). They aren’t better and have the same national curriculum etc

No one gets a job just because they went to private. Send them local, give them more options and spend the money on the extra curricula activities.

Larger school. You say the smaller one is part of a chain but why would a chain continue to keep pumping money into a loss making school? If they any other local ones they may combine the two as well.

Normally I'd say the one in walking distance but the class sizes at the prep are just far too small for it to be a realistic choice. I would move to the larger independent.

I would say being part of a group makes the prep more likely to be closed. Why keep open a small prep if there are larger better resourced schools in the group that the pupils could be transfered to in the event of closure? It's happened locally to me. The only thing that would keep a very small school open would be if it had a very distinct USP meeting the needs of a very specific group of children.

Thanks @CandidPoet I’m sorry you’ve had the experience of a school closure; I should imagine that’s very unsettling. I should probably explain that whilst it is part of a group of around 15, 1 is in France, another in Switzerland, 3 are in neighbouring counties and the rest are in the south of England so none are realistic options to be transferred to. I echo your concerns of how long the group is willing to support a loss making school. The two things going in it’s favour is 18 months ago a fantastic new head came in who has creative plans for expanding the school and shoring it up. She’s done a great job so far. The other point in its favour, giving it its USP, is that it is the only independent school covering a number of neighbouring villages. All in all, I’d be happy to take the punt that the school will survive and if it doesn’t, move them to the larger independents at that time.

Thank you @TwentyTwentyFive too small socially or for sports, or both!? I ask because my eldest is already into one and will soon be two sports clubs outside of school so whilst it’s not ideal, we can patch some holes with his spare time

Honestly too small for everything. Sport, extra curriculars, friendships, diversity, socially all of it. Imagine spending all your time with just a handful of others for 5+ years. It sounds incredibly stifling and very susceptible to closure.

@TwentyTwentyFive understood. Thanks

Definitely the larger one. Despite the other being closer, it is much too small. Four children in a year group gives very little scope for friendships etc.

Smaller one. You're going to move them to the larger one eventually, but start them at the small local school and move them if you decide you're unhappy or if it closes. You'll be saving time and money, and your children may love it.

In this situation I’d go and look at the local primary schools too. The smaller independent sounds too small and the larger ones are so far away at this age. Having lots of local friends is a huge gift, and the small independent sounds very limited from that perspective.
Then I’d move them to the most suitable independent when they’re 11 and you know more about which one will suit them best.

Hi @bananasandtoasties Yes thank you for raising this. We have already done this with two local options; both would mean a car ride but a short one. Unfortunately one has class sizes similar to the small local prep and both are quite lacking in facilities and Co-curricular. The head at the larger primary was also rather uninspiring. I wouldn’t be against a state primary at all, but in this situation we have decided we will be sticking with the independent sector.

Having had both the smaller and larger experience, I would go for the other larger independent school (sounds like this goes all through too?).

We liked the sound of the smaller school, thinking it’s more nurturing, more attention etc and were OK that sports weren’t really played as not enough players. However, the reality when compared to the larger schools was immense. The school ended up closing as similarly they had 4 kids in reception and that isn’t viable. My son was in the year above and had 5 children and lucked out in having two boys he really got on with, but it wasn’t the same for the other two. It also isn’t a good learning experience for socialising and all the often not so nice things children learn (how to deal with difficulties in friendships, working with different personalities etc. Compared to other schools, even if you do sport outside of school, I really think children miss out on this teamsmanship and fun in school.

All the families I’m in touch with who had to find other (larger schools) all feel they are much better, which is interesting as we were all sad when the school closed.

@Littlebitofthisandthat thats a really helpful perspective thank you. And yes the larger one goes all through and it’s where we would want to send him for Y7 onwards xx

You’re welcome, tough choices. Good luck!

This. Local prep more likely to fold, and already had ridiculously low numbers. I'd be concerned that my child wouldn't know how to be part of a larger community (or sports team) as a result and might struggle there.

Definitely larger school for a longer term view.

Those classes sizes would be WAY too small for me to even consider
Our nearest prep had size of 8-10 per class and this was too small for us

Definitely for me it would be the smaller prep, individualised teaching and more attention from the teacher - these really matter for younger children. My friend’s ND child has really benefitted from a smaller class size (of 8 in reception) and another friend has said the same thing with her child who isn’t ND - just the attention the teachers pay to the students is incredible. Child can also make friends outside of school so I wouldn’t worry about this at all. Being able to mix between year groups is great, my own dd has friends in year 1-6 at her prep and people all know her name which is amazing (ours is a one form prep)

If admissions was not a concern into the other larger independent , I would start them with the local prep and if it does close in the future then you can move them to the larger school then as a backup.

Ordinarily I would have said the small local prep. But I worked in one which is closing this year. Single figures in each year group to about y4/5. Owned by a larger group, we were all confident it would stay open. VAT plus the employers NI rise have been the final nail in the coffin for them. Devastating for the pupils and the staff.