To make friends with my child’s teacher?

[Sharrison88]

Just wanted some opinions please 😃
my child’s (year one primary school) teacher is due to go on maternity leave soon and we have struck quite a ‘friendship/bond’ (can’t think of the right word but lots of chatting at drop off/pick up etc). I have two children myself and we seem to have a lot in common. This is her first baby and she has asked for my advice on certain (baby related) topics. I was going to suggest meeting for a coffee when she goes off on mat leave (she is new ish to the area and so not many friends in the area).
but now I’m feeling is it awkward to suggest that? I would have to suggest swapping numbers/following on Instagram to keep in touch and now wondering if that’s pushing boundaries?
any advice please 🙂

When I was a teacher I made two good parent friends.
My basic rules were that I NEVER talked about school with them, not even their own children. And we were never pally on the playground etc. I made sure the head knew. Never had any problems but I did keep those boundaries strong. To be fair, so did my friends.

@GammonAndEgg thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds like that’s a good compromise. Out of interest how did you make friends? As we stand and chat most days in the morning (on my work from home days) about lots of different things but I’m not sure if how we would strike a friendship any further than that if I don’t give my number/follow on instagram (after she’s left) for example!

I think you can develop a friendship with a person you met as your child's teacher after your child has left the school. Not before.

I'd be very surprised if the teacher wanted to develop a close friendship with someone they knew as a parent, and were likely to have a parent / teacher relationship with for some years.

Obviously different if a teacher is already friends with people whose dc then start at their school.

I think one invited me for a coffee. I would say don’t overthink it. Give her a note with your number on it. Tell her not to message if she finds it weird, but the offer of a coffee is there once she’s off teacher-duty and on mum-duty.

I don’t think it’s weird at all! Definitely exchange numbers - you obviously have a bond and I’m sure she will be keen.

It’s just primary school so it’s hardly the biggest deal! Secondary I can see your DC would be embarrassed!

I tell my sons headteacher, SENCO and TA that they’re basically my only social life 😂 I’d have no idea how to move the friendliness into actual friendship though. But the SENCO and TA have basically said what excellent friends we’d be!

Oh I am not sure. I work in social care- get on brilliantly with a couple of the mums I support but when the clock stops I say goodbye until the next working day. Could get messy.

I met one of my best friends as a teacher at my kids school. But her kids were also at the school and we met as our kids became friends.

im also a teacher and I don’t make friends with any of my students parents. My daughter is now at the school I teach at and tbh I feel weird when I have my mum hat on. She goes to a reasonably posh school with the typical posh mums and I’m not in the slightest bit posh. ‘Not my people’ as I tell my friends 😂. I’m always friendly and polite but wouldn’t hang out with them.

So she's going on mat leave so won't be your dc teacher anymore. I'd say suggest it but don't be offended if she declines she may decide it's not appropriate

@Squiggles23 thanks, yes the more I think about it it really isn’t that huge a deal. My son is 6, she lives very local and it’s meeting for a coffee down the road! Just don’t want to come across weird 😂 but it’s not like it’s out of the blue, it’s because we genuinely enjoy chatting each morning and feel like we probably have a lot in common and she often asks for tips on baby (light hearted like travelling etc).

thanks!

As an ex primary teacher (20 years) and now a tutor, I have always kept a professional distance from parents.
I wouldn't become friends with a parent at the school I was teaching at, nor a parent of one of the children I tutor.
I think it would be the same if I was a doctor, nurse etc with patients.

My school forbids accepting social media friendship requests from parents or communicating with them online, we are also not allowed to give out out personal phone number.

I'm really good friends with an ex parent. Note ex.

We clicked when I gave her a listening ear during COVID and she was having an awful time of it. Her daughter was in my year 2 class.

I told her I was looking forward to having a drink with her the summer her child left year 6.

We had really friendly playground chats in those 4 years.

I wouldn't go there as a teacher. Existing friendships are different, but I choose to never make friends with a parent at my school. It's unprofessional imo.