Mumsnet Jury - is this fair? And if not how do I deal with it?

[fletchaaarr]

DS2 is 8, good at maths, less good at English. He has had some help, and has really improved.

I got a letter home saying that he had been selected to have special lessons in ICT once every couple of weeks as he had been identified as good with 'pooters and the maths lessons he would miss would not hold him back (because he is talented at maths)

I signed permission and thought no more

So I asked him how the lessons were

He said that his teacher has said he can't do it because his weekly spelling and tables tests aren't good enough.

THis seems unfair to me - he wouldn't be missing literacy and they don't learn tables in numeracy class, so he is being punished by not being allowed to do something he is good at, because of something else he struggles with.

The school haven't told me he isn't doing the lessons he was meant to or why.

Should I raise this with them and how?

?

It all sounds convoluted and weird. Even if the teacher felt not supported by you (and you have sorted the letter issue, so what is she on about) punishing, sorry 'sanctioning' your DS is not going to help!
It sounds like you did a good job talking to her and staying calm! Hope your ds ICT lessons will start for him.

OK - she has not let him do the lessons

here is the letter I have written

Please read and comment

Dear Mrs xxxxx

I signed a permission slip for DS to attend extra ICT lessons, and on the permission slip it stated that it was felt that he would not be disadvantaged or fall behind as a result of these lessons. Part of the reason given was that he was able in both mathematics and ITC, and that the ICT lessons would take place during numeracy lessons that he could afford to miss.

DS was very keen to attend and I signed the permission form.

I subsequently found that DS had not been allowed to attend these lessons, and came to see you to ask why.

You told me (Friday 9th May) that this was not a punishment but DS had not done well enough in spelling and tables tests for him to be allowed to attend. I was not informed on the permission slip that this was a criteria or a problem with DS. I have never had communication from you that you considered this a problem that should be addressed, either verbally or in writing. When I asked about this you said emphatically that this was not a punishment but a sanction. You agreed that the lesson he was missing would do nothing to increase his ability at tables or spelling. At that point, for me, it became a punishment.

At the end of our meeting you agreed to reconsider your decision, and that better communication would be beneficial. After that I have heard nothing, but gather from DS that he has not been to any of the ITC lessons. He has not had any chance to redeem himself in spelling or tables tests (which you said were the issue) as these have not been carried out between the date I spoke to you and the tests he did on Friday (where he got 14/15).

she's a freak. a sanction is a punishment, so there's no need to say 'for me' imo. you could say, if you felt cheeky, that you and Webster's dictionary quite fail to see the distinction.

you need a par where you state what you want to see happening. and maybe mention the effect this is having/may have on DS's self-confidence?

and she's a freak.

Ah, this woman reminds me of dd's ex-headteacher who thought that sanctions would be a good way of curing dd's connective tissue disorder

You can sort of see a twisted logic: 'joint pains are undesirable'-'sanctions are what we apply to stop undesirable behaviour'- 'therefore we need to apply sanctions to make this problem go away'.

What both he and your ds's teacher have missed is the little word behaviour immediately after undesirable. There is no way in which either a bad back or an inability to grasp the eight times table can be described as behaviour and therefore the whole analogy falls down.

Now, if your ds failed to hand in spellings homework, or was inattentive in class, that of course would be behaviour and sanctions might indeed be appropriate. But we would like to see some evidence.

Great letter, copy to headteacher as well. She obviously hates being challenged.