Should we move DS?

[InsolentAnnie]

DS is 5 and in his first year of school. DD is in Y6 so about to leave the same school. Over the years we’ve gone from loving the school to being massively disillusioned by it and really very unhappy with the head. Any concern we’ve raised has been met by massive defensiveness, and being told that nobody else has complained (other people don’t because they don’t want to rock the boat, but when we say this the school refuses to believe us). We feel our DD has coasted academically, and bullying issues haven’t really been dealt with. The head is unprofessional, quite chauvinistic and doesn’t seem particularly interested in the children, more how he looks. There are rumours that he got the job via some string-pulling, and tbh I really don’t think he should be in that role. We know the school well - I’ve actually been a governor there - and we’re really concerned about the direction it’s going in.

A place has come up at another local school. Same distance away, outstanding OFSTED (albeit from several years ago), good reputation. We visited it and were really impressed. I’ve been asking friends with kids there and, as with all the schools in the area (including the one our kids are at), there are marmite opinions. We’re under no illusions that it would be perfect, because nowhere is, but it seems to be run a lot better. But I feel torn. DS is happy, but we hate the idea of his current head being his role model, and we think he’s one of the worst heads we’ve met (we’ve both worked in schools a lot in our jobs, so have met a lot of them!). DS doesn’t have any particular friends at school except for one boy he adores but who I think doesn’t quite reciprocate. The other school is bigger, so he might be more likely to find someone he gels with. But the other school has far more kids with SEN in the class (because they have a reputation for being great with SEN), so I worry if attention might be spread more thinly, and apparently behaviour in the class is challenging too - but then I think it is in his current class too. (Must clarify here I have no problem with kids with SEN!! I just mean in terms of adult attention needing to be split more. I used to teach primary so I know how it can impact things.)

I don’t want to go from frying pan to fire and regret moving him, but the thought of dealing with his current school and all its issues for another six years fills me with dread! I don’t know what to do. Any similar experiences, anyone?

I would say it depends entirely on how your DS feels. If he’s happy then I’d leave him where he is. He probably doesn’t care if mum and dad like his head teacher or not.

@NotaCoolMum It’s not our personal dislike of him that’s the problem, it’s the effect it has on the running of the school and therefore the kids. I don’t think he actually knows how a school should be run. We wouldn’t actually trust him to look after our kids on his own either!

Isn't that the answer? Move.

At age 5, friendships are still forming. A move to a new school could be an ideal time, as young children often adapt well to new environments.

However, a school's SEN percentage may not fully reflect its support. In my experience, the actual number of students with unrecognized SEN can be higher, due to factors like lack of awareness from school, parental denial, or assessment wait lists. For example, my child's class has 5-6 students suspected of SEN and disruptive/violent behavior, yet only one has an EHCP.