Did anyone regret deferring summer born?

[coopekid]

Reassurance needed - we’ve had agreement from local schools that our August born DS can defer start date until he is 5 (September 2026). Back when we had to make the decision at the end of last year we didn’t think he was socially or emotionally ready for a school start this year and as such haven’t applied to schools at all. Fast forward almost 6 months and I’m now having second thoughts about whether we have made the right decision or not. It probably sounds ridiculous but he is tall for his age and I am worried he is going to stand out like a sore thumb next to younger peers next September! Can anyone with experience of this tell me it will all work out?!

Nope - Y8 and in secondary now, always top of the class and able to follow along without needing extra support from already overstretched teachers, plenty of friends as emotionally ready and yes, usually amongst the tallest which has been a benefit not a hindrance. Best thing we did for him, 💯.

He’s defo tall but there’s been kids in his class both in primary and now secondary who have been / are taller - some born much later. It’s not a problem, really - and it’s usually the smallest kids that experience bullying I’d say, unfortunately.

My youngest is a very short August born. I considered deferring her and am so glad i didn't! She absolutely blitzed reception and is now doing brilliantly at maths and reading & reading paperbacks. She'd have been so held back if she'd only been in reception now, she'd have been bored and I'd have regretted it. She's happy, popular with peers & has lovely friends.

Contrary to pp, I have an august born DD in year 7, her school wouldn't agree to flexible admissions (though they do now, it was newer when I tried). I do still wish she was a year below, she has only just caught up academically. She has always seemed younger than her peers. Now in secondary she looks more than a year younger than all the other year 7's. Obviously this is not true of all summer borns, or she wouldn't stand out as much, but an extra year of puberty growth would have prevented this.

I don’t think there are many reasons parents would regret deferring. Only ones I can think of are: 1) their child ends up being very bright and is bored in lessons, 2) they cannot apply to selective/grammar secondary schools because now over age (not relevant to most areas) and 3) their child is very active in a particular sport but has to play with the year above due to age restrictions so cannot play with school friends.

Not me but a friend regretted it because where we live (Kent) grammar school tests are standardised by age - so he had to get more marks in the test than his younger peers. He missed on the top grammar school by just one point.

She also always says he has coasted for much of junior school and perhaps more struggle early on would have built him into a more hard working and determined chap! He tends to give up easily and takes failure badly - I think he is 13 now.

I deferred one of my three summer born kids. The one DS I deferred it was very much the right choice for him. Starting him earlier would have been disastrous. Youngest I wanted to defer but was too sick to do so, I think he'd fit a little bit better if I had deferred, but he's doing fine and has some good friends, so not a big deal. Eldest was really ready to start school, always done great academically, she needed that and its what was best for her. She does come across as a bit younger than her peers, I do wonder sometimes if she'd be a bit more confident if Id deferred her, but I think on balance I made the right choice. I have noticed at my kids school summer born boys are much more likely to be deferred than summer born girls

I wish I’d been able to defer. Always the youngest, smallest, least mature. Was fine during primary but now in the teenage years it’s not great. Academically totally ok, early reader etc, but now it’s middling grades mainly due to messing about and not knuckling down. I think he’d have found everything much easier if he was a year older.