4yr old bullying/obstructive behaviour at school - any advice?

[earlycomputers]

There is a boy at my dd's school (both are 4yrs old) and he is very obstructive/bordering on bullying towards my dd, ending up with her having a bad knee injury through being pushed over by him in the playground. He seems to delight in getting in her way to make her upset or angry. I have advised her to just ignore him and play with other kids and also to tell a teacher, but lately, because I am so cross with him and dont want my dd to be pushed around by him, I have been encouraging her to play him at his own game. So for example I said that if he stands in her way deliverately, she should just push him out of the way, or if he takes something of hers, she should take something of his or try to snatch it back. My dd, very maturely, said that if she did this, then she would only be stooping down to his level. I know this is probably the wrong thing to advise but I really just dont know what to say to her. It makes me seethe that there are kids out there at this age who seem to get away with obstructive behaviour. What's the best course of action and if any teachers are reading this, what would you suggest I advise my dd? Should she ignore/keep out of his way or stand up to him more?

This is so very similar to a situation that I am in too with my daughter being bossed around and controlled by a boy at nursery. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help her become more assertive. I feel as if I can't really control what he is doing so I have to help her to 'deal' with him for want of a better word. I suppose I should be glad that she hasn't been pushed physically like your dd.

Asking her to push him out of the way is risky. What if he pushes back- and pushes harder than her? Or what if she unintentionally pushes too hard and ends up hurting him? Then she'll be in trouble and not him.

If she is being bullied, a much better way than to encourage her to get into trouble would be for you to go in and see her teacher and ask for support (in a nice way).

He/She can ask the dinner ladies to keep an eye at playtime. This will take the onus off your daughter and be in accordance with school rules (call an adult).

If your daughter had a bad knee injury (by which I would understand something that needed medical attention), then that should already be in their accident book.

I did this for my ds when he was 6, and I was very pleased to see how easily things were resolved. The dinner ladies kept a discreet eye at playtime and at the first sign of trouble the offender was warned that he would lose playtime for "playing boisterously". Worked a treat.