Changing areas in london, moving from East london to South East London for house

[AnxiousLesbianMum]

Hi, I am new to mumsnet but I have been reading old messages to try and gather information on this subject but realised it would be so helpful to just write it out.

I live in East London with my female partner and my 3 year old son. We live in a small 2 bedroom flat and we love it here, between victoria park and mile end, we have two lovely commuinty high streets (Victoria Park Village and Roman Road) and I have lived here singe University, close to 15 years! About 3 years ago I realised we couldn't quite afford to step up in size in this area, it has become extremely expensive, and we havce spent the last year viewing properties in SE London to buy. I have a few friends dotted around Peckham/Forrest Hill so I started to see this as an option for my family. About 6 months ago we finally found a nice house that was within budget in Nunhead on Kirkwood Road, SE15, but it has taken a long time to get going. We are finally near the exchange date and I am having doubts. I see all the kids in the local area we live in going to the local school here (Lauriston and Chisenhale) and I of course have a lof of mum friends that have continued to develop, some I see a few times a week and spend a large part of our weekends together.

But I think because of this idea we needed more space we are continuing with the move. But I am worried, that now my son is 3 I will struggle to meet people (most of the connections I made were when he was very small), although we have met people through his nursery.

I think I am just having a freak out, its all I know and I am now confused that I have taken this decision in the first place. And he is a sensitive child who still struggles to go into nursery after the weekend!

I think my main fears are:

• losing touch with the wonderful friends I've made
• Not making friends with kids in the new area that are as close ( alot of the families here are gay which has helped)
• regretting the decision (I have this one idea that had we just upgraded to-
• a small maisonette/garden flat we could have stayed..)
• Him not having a place in pre school in SE London (the schools seem over subsribed and we have no close school that I am in love with, I liked Edmund Waller but its 15 min walk, however in Hackney/Mile End there's a huge catchment as of course its become unaffordable and there's less kids.
• We basically spend our whole summer and most of the year in Victoria Park, and all the kids are here every day after school or the pubs nearby if raining, i am assuming its the same elsewhere but the sense of community in some schools seems a lot higher than others, but I can't really get a sense of that on open days.
• My parents live in NW london, and it feels even further away
• My best friend who moved to Scotland is now coming back to hackney after feeling a lack of community there

I sometimes fixate on an idea of what my life would have looked like should we stay, but the reality is that a lot of the parents here are likely to leave as well.

We are exchanging next week - is this a normal freak out? What am I doing?

I have friends both in Viccy park and in Nunhead, and to be honest, there's a lot of young middle class families, similar vibe , head to Bellenden road, and its the same as 'Victoria Park Village', Peckham Rye is as hipster and happening as London Fields.

I don't see a massive difference between the two areas, both are inner London and undergone huge gentrification , its less than 30 mins on the overground back to Hackney.

If you were priced out , there's not much you can do, for more space you've made the right decision.

I don't think you'll regret Nunhead if your moving out of Hackney and love it there, if you were moving to somewhere like Banstead , that's a whole different story!

I think you'll be happy in Nunhead. As poster above said, it's a very young family friendly area and the community vibes are strong. I have friends who have moved back and forth between SE London and Hackney several times over the years and feel they are pretty comparable.

Ha I love the Banstead addition, thank you.

I think writing this out and going to therapy has made me realise that I am still struggling to let go of what this area means to me, it’s my home and it’s the only place I’ve been a mother. And it’s a lot to grieve. Thanks for both responses.

I also resent being priced out but I know I’m not alone in that

We live in SE London - it's lovely here, the schools are fab, lovely restaurants - DM me if you want to know many specifics!

We currently live in the same area as you do now, and I totally get it. We love it, and I can see why you are wobbling.

I’ve got loads of friends down Catford, Nunhead, Peckham way and SE London is great. When we were looking at moving to get more for our money this is where we looked. Covid changed our plans in the end though.

I’d say there is more happening down there too in a wider area, and Peckham Rye is great and for a bigger park Dulwich isn’t too far.

don’t worry about meeting people, you’ll definitely meet people through nursery and primary school when you get there.

Also my friends are much happier with their choice of secondaries than we are around here (although a lot can change in 8 years!)

Living where we live is fantastic, but I think you’ll find a good community in the SE.

I've noticed a tendency for people from east London/ hackney/ victoria park area to think it's the BEST place in the world to live and can't imagine why anyone would live anywhere else. Break out of the bubble there are loads of nice places to live - lots of which being in SE London, you may even prefer it :-)