5 yr old is too chatty

[LMNOP100]

Hello all,

So my 5 year old son's teacher keeps complaining to me that he is very chatty in class which can disturb others at times and that he will take any opportunity in class to chat to his friends or fidget with his pencil. She states he sometimes gets out of his seat.

I mean...isn't this some what expected at 5 yrs old? He's attending a school where they are at desks all day apart from break and lunchtime, I'm thinking he could be bored?

I do not think he could have ADHD as he can sit and concentrate on his homework and other tasks for a good while when he feels like it but I'm not an expert on this subject

I'm not sure what to do or say to his teacher? Any advice on what we could do?
I did have a talk to him about how we behave when it's learning time vs when it's playtime.

Thanks

If he’s much chattier and more disruptive than the other 5 year olds in his class then it’s obviously a problem for the teacher who is trying to teach and crowd control.

There's not much you can do really, surely? You can't manage his behaviour at school and if he sits and concentrates fine at home doing homeworkthen what can you do?

Maybe ask her if there's anything she thinks you could do at home to help the situation. If she can't come up with anything then at least hopefully she'll realise her complaints are pointless.

Do they not do ANY activities where they are up and about and active? Where is he in school?!

Reception or yr 1? I’m guessing yr 1. There is a huge jump from reception to yr1. I would just remind him at home to make sure he stays in his seat when he is supposed to and to make sure he usea his listening ears.

Ask the teacher there is anything else you can do and if they think he would find a wobble cushion or similiar helpful.

i'd have a very direct conversation with the teacher. They see a wider spectrum of behaviour and should be better placed to judge if there is evidence of some atypical or ND. He may simply be a chatty kid and she wants your help reinforcing being more quiet in class

Is it a state school?

Let's be honest. School is boring!

I think I used to be a chatterbox too but I was obedient and shut up when told to because I found it humiliating to be called out in front of everyone.

IMO it's for the teacher to manage. You can remind him as you already have done, but when he's not in your care there's not exactly a lot you can do about it. My guess is he'll stop if the teacher is persistent enough or dishes out appropriate punishments.

Don't most kids fiddle with their pencils and doodle though?

Find me a child in my yr 3 class who doesn't chat too much or fiddle with a pencil and I'll eat my hat.

I would be asking the teacher what exactly about his behaviour is beyond his peers and worrying her?

If you have the feeling they are at their desks all day then again, you could ask if that is true.

From what you've said here they sound like a normal 5yr old.

No 5 year old should be expected to sit still at a desk for more than 15 min surely?

And tbh that's normally carpet time?

Presumably it's a private school?

Gently, it sounds like you think you know best and that the teacher doesn't.
In their experience, they are chatter than most. Could mean just that or could mean, they're so disruptive other children's learning is being affected.

Maybe work with the teacher - could they think of some concentration games or does your child need lots of movement before school like a run from the car, in order to get the wriggles out. Would a fidget tool benefit them or a reward chart where for every 10 mins they concentrate in their own learning and stay in their seat they get 1min of the fave film or tokens towards a magazine etc?

There's no point the teacher telling you something without explaining how they're working on it and then you can ask how you can support your child too.

Hope you get some answers at your next meeting

We have had the same information about our year one son.
Apparently he likes to see what his friends are doing and gets distracted easily.
At home he concentrates well enough.
He says school is boring.
His older brother has ADHD and the youngest definitely concentrates much better than he does.
We spoke to his teacher and asked if she though we needed to look into it more or is it just a case of him being 5, she said to just wait as he is only young and it's a big jump from reception to year one.
We have reminded him to try and stay in his seat and when he gets points on the school app for concentrating we will give him a little treat at home.
This last week he seems to be concentrating better.

I would just keep an eye on it.
Though adhd waitlists are years..

Does he interrupt you if you are talking to another adult?
Is he impulsive?

My dd is awaiting adhd diagnosis and had behaviour issues from nursery.
It was much more than getting up or fidgeting which she didnt really do.
There was hitting, biting in reception. She was really impulsive as a toddler and even by schoolage at 4 not really trusted to scoot by a road etc.
She was awful homeschooling in covid took all day to do the maths homework.
But.. She only chats too much if seated with friends and her school never does that.

Is he one of the youngest?

I guess the question is how common is getting up from seat when they shouldnt vs other kids his age.

Surely a 5 year old should be inquisitive and moving. I would say that the way we have designed schools to ensure that we expect children to do things they find difficult and boring is much more the issue.

When I was younger if we were talking too much the teacher used to either make us switch seats of sit at her desk.
at 5 years old I would take it with a pinch of salt, unless his behaviour is a problem your doing all you can do from home.