5 yr old not interesting in wanting to learn to read

[Hellobell]

Hi all,

so my son turned 5 in October, he has been struggling with his English lessons so he’s now being supported in a smaller group and school, he can read words and reads the sentences out like s-i-t but he’s not doing it in his head yet, he gets very easily distracted and can sometimes only read 2 very short sentences before running away or refusing more, I’m so worried as the amount of work I’m given to read through with him is a lot, we are told tomorrow go through 15 different sight words and he literally does not remember them, and also the special friends like sh ck qu, when he sees them she spells them out as s-h :( I’m at a loss it’s more the fact that he dosnt even want to try at home and I get him he’s tired but he really needs the extra help from us to do well.

Is he in reception? He sounds perfectly normal but the school’s expectations sounds quite intense compared to my DCs experiences.
There’s a huge variety of ability and interest at this age, I’d concentrate on modelling positive attitudes to reading, spotting letters and sounds when you’re out and about out, and read to him daily.

We had this. My daughter just didn’t want to learn but was also falling behind and aware of it. I ordered the 100 sight words flash cards by Collins (I think, or another educational publisher) and we did one a day over breakfast when she was at her least tired. We started off with easy wins like ‘in’ ‘on’ ‘at’ etc and once she knew them by sight I’d put them at the bottom of the pack. Any she struggled with we did the next day and the next till she was confident. Gosh did it make a difference! I think it was realising she could read some words by sight and of course that makes it easier when reading basic sentences. Two years on she is in the top reading group for her class and you’d never have known she struggled so much just a short while ago.

No they put him into year 1 so he was 4 for a few weeks then he turned 5 but he’s one of the youngest as we have been to a party last week and he was turning 6, yes these expectations are big, we really liked the school but im screaming inside just to slow down, we feel like these few months have been so focused on work work work and trying to drum everything into him and it’s so sad, tonight I asked him what a few sight words were and he was like mum my brain is sleeping now :( gosh I feel so guilty !

I can’t really advise too much because my children’s school starts them off with picture books during the first term so they can work on describing. Second term-ish, books with one or two words per page and it’s built it up from there throughout the year. They definitely are not expected to sound out words in their heads, they are expected to use robot arms and sound the word aloud. 15 sight words sounds a lot in one go btw, have they been learning these since last term or just this term?

Don’t think of it as falling behind, just take it at your child’s pace. I’m no expert, but I believe at this age the main thing is supporting children to have a good relationship with reading, not ticking boxes. Just keep it a bit lighter.

edit: ahh, I’ve just seen your update. Makes more sense now you’ve shared he is in year 1.

You could try an app such as Writing Wizard on a tablet. This will combine reading/ spelling with letter formation.

It is multisensory so helps to embed the learning. You can add your own word lists, his name, key words etc. It will also say the word in an English accent.
Visually rewarding, children usually love it.

Obviously continue with sharing any books he likes or even make your own according to interest.

Do you read books with him at home? Not ones for him to practice reading but ones with a poem or a fun story? Just so he enjoys books. The Julia Donaldson ones are all good. And Sally Hughes. Read them a few times and when he knows the story, let him finish the sentence

Eg
Oh help, oh no it's a ... [big pause]
Gruffalo [he says it with you while looking at the word]

Wow fantastic this has made me smile, I found the cards you were referring to on Amazon this evening and I said they look good, are they the ones which have the word and then a small sentence with the word in it below? Love the idea such a great tip, I think I’m going to go at that pace rather then reading all the different ones out daily which are just not sticking.

I really wouldn't worry. The greatest motivator for reading is a love of books. Just read and/or audiobook each night. They have a few years to learn how, the small group teaching can carry on going forward. Boys can also develop later in this area.

Have you tried reading eggs? My daughter is 6 and an excellent reader. I could pretend it's all my hard work but honestly it's not. 15 minutes a day on reading eggs and 15 minutes on mathseeds (same app) and she is flying ahead of her peers. Its fun and it doesn't feel like learning. You can do a free trial. It's on offer at the moment i think £60 for the year. Alternatively, teach your monster how to read is free on a laptop.

This may sound controversial but I would ditch the extra work they’ve given you to do with him at home and just read him a few pages of a book before bed… he will pick up on words/ sounds etc listening to you that way.

He's very small and it’s probably information overload right now… my youngest wasn’t too interested at that age but is ahead on his reading and English now in Year 3.

Try to give him and you some time to relax instead of feeling this intense pressure from the school.

Yes we read loads of books, we love Julia d ones but laterly with all the materials the school have sent we have only been having fun with our books on the weekend, I think I do need to lighten up abit and take abit more control and allow him to still enjoy books and reading and not seeing it as school homework or anything, we follow the RWI program at school and it’s nice I like it but it is just very fast paced.

If your son was only 5 in October he should be in reception if you are in England. Why has he been put in year 1? Being put up a year is so unfair for him. Get him put in the correct year group and let him progress at the rate he should be.

Also, it helps to have a set time to learn. Mine usually play, eat and then read. That way they have rested a bit and aren't hanger.

Are you in England? Has he done Year R?

Get some letters, start letting them spell rather than read. Poo, bum and wee are like gateway drugs for 5 year old reading.

Thank you I really do think that your right, I miss the old bedtimes, he use to ask me some nights to make up a story about pirates or bad guys and police and we would love it but since all this pressure from school we have stopped it a lot! I think I should leave our week days for us after school and try get in 15mins on the weekends for us to do some school reading. Thank you 🙏

Could you try making a game out of it so you're practising but not making it seem like a chore?

You could get some foam letters and put them in the bath, fish them out and stick them on the side to make words/sounds. Or a treasure hunt - we used to write sounds and short words on little bits of paper and hide them around the room, then when DS found them he'd read it out loud, find it on a list and tick it off. We also did a fishing game type thing with magnetic fridge letters and bingo cards.

DS also really liked the teach your monster to read app - which again makes it feel more like a game than school work.

Less is better at this age - as others suggest the most important thing by a mile is for them to enjoy reading. Does he enjoy being read to? I would do lots of reading TO him, a little bit of him reading to you (stop before he gets tired, even if it is just a sentence or two) and a very little bit of the other stuff - 5 minutes max at a time of phonics / spelling work. Bring bits with you so that you can do a little bit here and there - we would typically get to school a few minutes early and to a couple bits in the car.

also don’t worry about them falling behind - I know it is mega stressful- but honestly there is no reason to believe he won’t catch up when he is ready. Reading requires a lot of different developmental skills to be in place, and not all kids get there at the same point in time. Both of mine were in intervention groups in y1 but 2 years later were meeting or exceeding expectations. They just weren’t ready for the work at 5, but when they were ready they caught up very very quickly.

I'm getting impression that it's a private school. With VAT possibly the school doesn't have a viable reception class and this poor child has been put into year 1 and is being required to work at far too intense a pace. Poor kid.

Why was he put into year 1 at 4? This seems very unusual.

Honestly the range is huge at this age and nothing you've said is hugely concerning (I work in send support at a primary school)
If he can only read 2 sentences before running off, don't push that for now.

The digraphs (sh, th etc) do take practice. I practice these in isolation as well as practicing them in words. Get them on flashcards and go through them every day until he can instantly recognise them as a whole sound. So if he's learning th and ch, get him saying the sounds on the cards and then also practice eg thin and chip. Gradually add new digraphs at a pace that works. At class pace it will be a new sound every day. With some of my send kids I might do a sound a week.

Can he blend sounds? If this is still something he finds difficult, try doing some blending games in the car or at the dinner table. For example, "what noise does a c-a-t make?"

Most importantly, you don't want to turn him off reading by putting too much pressure on at such a young age. Little and often and turn it into a game whenever possible!

Don't worry.

The UK education system is ridiculously formal at far too young an age. In Scandinavian countries they don't start school until 6-7 years, but focus on play-based learning until then. It's a major bug-bear of mine that in the UK we start them too young and it can do lasting damage.

All the Scandinavian PhD students I've supervised have been amongst the best and most intellectually curious.

Let him learn at his own pace without pressure. He'll be fine. Starting younger has been proven to be particularly detrimental to boys due to a hormone surge around the time they are expected to start school in the UK and this hormone surge makes it difficult for them to keep still or concentrate.

My youngest really was not ready for school when he started. He hated it (but loved his excellent nursery he'd been at prior to school). He's now in year 12 and aced his GCSEs with 8 and 9 across the board. He just wasn't ready for school (his handwriting is still awful though 😂).

He also learned to read and write much later than ds1, but he's the one now studying English Literature, which he loves!

If it is a reassurance my kid didn't string a sentence together until well past three, had speech and language therapy and extra reading/writing sessions even up until end of year two. It's year 3 really where kids, especially boys develop at a huge rate. My kid now is reading well beyond his age and for enjoyment. Don't worry until around the time of the phonics screen.

I have a definite memory of knowing I was five, and also knowing I couldn't read yet.
The letters and words on the book the teacher was reading aloud at storytime looked like scratchy little marks. Like your son, I was one of the youngest in the class and there were probably rising sixes tearing ahead, but by the time I was six, I was reading almost fluently. Starting school is exhausting; you're still little and there's so much to take in; rules, social codes, where the loos are, where the coats go, and all the queuing, sitting still, tidying up etc. . .the academic stuff takes time to bed in.

Yes, reading eggs! My son was one of the worst in his class at reading in Reception. Started him on Reading Eggs in an ipad and within a few weeks he was properly reading! Now he loves reading and is one of the best readers in his year (Y1).

@Hellobell yes I just checked and it’s the Collins ‘High Frequency Words Flashcards: Ideal for home learning (Collins Easy Learning KS1’ 52 in the pack and they are double sided. I really recommend it, we just kept it light and fun over breakfast and some mornings if she was too tired we didn’t bother. Honestly once she realised she could read about 10-20 words her confidence came on in leaps and bounds.