Help me request time off!

[TY78910]

Turning to MN for some answers and help requesting time off for my DD.

She is in reception and we have been invited to a wedding abroad mid June.

We try to see my family abroad once a year, I am very close with them, in particular my grandparents who are now too elderly to travel to the UK to see us.

My first cousin who I also grew up with is getting married and it's a wonderful opportunity for our kids to see the whole family. Problem being it's not in the school holidays and it's a mid-week wedding.

With her being in reception, which I understand is not a compulsory year, are they a bit less strict around attendance or once you're in school, it's treated the same?

How would you phrase the request? I was thinking about emphasising the event and opportunity to see all family, the bond, and allowing the kids to see their great grandparents not just over video call... not sure if any of that would have any meaning to them anyway.

TIA

Schooling becomes compulsory in the term after the child turns 5. So will she be 5 on the first day of the summer term? If so she's compulsory school age for your trip.
If she is 4, say sorry, but we feel we need to go and just go, they can't do anything.
If she is 5 by the day they go back in April then you need to ask for time off. You and your partner may both be fined, if she misses less than 10 sessions (there are two a day) in about six weeks you won't be fined. If it is more than that then you take a risk, but you can say how important this relative is to you and how you feel you have to go, you realise it's not ideal, but she's too young to leave with a friend, so please will they give you an authorised absence, it's unlikely to work, but you can but try.

Is she 4 or 5?

Thanks @ACynicalDad!

To answer you both she will turn 5 in August so a good month after the trip.

That's super helpful

Just write a letter telling them that she will be away and why.

Your reason isn't strong enough for the absence to be authorised.
So simply say you are taking her out of school to go to a family wedding. No need to overthink it.

You don't need permission just inform the school.

Don't go into loads of details/ justifications, it makes no difference, just tell them the dates she won't be there.

I would just send an email asking for the process (in our school we have to fill in a form). Since she won't be at compulsory school age it should be OK and no fine.

Just let them know she’ll be absent and that you understand it will be unauthorised and you apologise for any inconvenience.

Don’t overthink it!

The government have made schools crack down on absences, even more, since 2024. A family wedding abroad, even with Grandparents, isn't a case for an authorised absence. Keep the days your daughter will be not attending school, to the absolute minimum, and just email the school to say you will be taking your daughter out of school from X June to the X June to attend a family wedding in X. The absence will be unauthorised, without a doubt.

I know this isn’t helpful as you are in England. But I’m guessing you or your parents are from a country other than the uk? In Scotland you could get authorised absence to go “home” and reconnect with extended family and heritage/culture.

You put in the application, might have to have a chat with the head.

They will say "Sorry we can't approve this but have a fabulous time".

They need to know where the child is for safeguarding. She's not 5 yet so it doesn't matter but even if she was older by June her attendance percentage would be good and an absence would reduce the % less than in September and it only matters if she misses 10 sessions / 5 days so if you were leaving Monday afternoon take her in for a couple of hours in the morning.

Just fill in the form, giving the reason and they will make the decision as to whether it’s authorised.

risk the fine if it isn’t 🤷‍♀️

no need to send in elaborate details.

Totally agree with this. If they decline it to be authorised it really doesn't matter. The worst thing can happen would be a fine but you might just have to suck it up. That or you ring on the first day to say she's got chicken pox and you'll be keeping her off all week but maybe best not to lie.

Thanks all. Seems like unauthorised it is.

Is it frowned upon?

By who? If she isn’t yet 5 there’s no legal requirement for her to be in school and they can do nothing. Ofsted don’t like too many unauthorised absences (which is why schools try to keep them down!) but that’s not your problem.

if she was over 5 you’d be almost guaranteed a fine if it was 5 or more days but that’s all. The teachers won’t treat her any differently if that’s what you mean.

you may get a letter at the end of the year lecturing you about the importance of attendance. My friends daughter missed 4 days for an operation and got one and was raging.

When we did it the teachers didn't seem to mind, and the letter we got from the head basically said it is not authorised but we recognise the importance of spending time with family so have a great time. It felt more like... It is not authorised but don't worry about it (we have not had much absence).

If she's 5 on August she won't be compulsory school age so you won't get fined. Most schools will still put a holiday down as unauthorised, wedding or no wedding, as they need to be seen to be setting an example but they can't stop you going.

Go and enjoy some quality family time, stress free of the risk of a fine. It'll be your absolutely last opportunity to do so though.