Advice needed re state school and time abroad

[Hereforthemamas]

Hi there, wondering if anyone has any insight and could possibly help me.

We live in Somerset and have just applied for a reception place for my son at a state school that we are very excited by / happy with. If he gets a space, he is due to start Sept 2025 (aged 4).

Meanwhile, my DH has just been informed by work that he needs to spend 10-12 weeks in Sydney, Australia for 3 months November 2025-January 2026.

Whilst it’s an exciting opportunity to be somewhere different, we realise it would mean our son will do 2 months of school and then spend 3 months away (though some of which would be school Christmas holiday).

My main concern, what would happen to my son’s place at school if he wasn’t there for 3 months? It would be a real shame to lose his space if he gets the school we’re really excited about. Anyone had experience of this?

Am I right in thinking he doesn't technically need to attend until he’s 5? In which case that would be end of December, perhaps I could come home earlier with him?

any experience appreciated! thanks

Oh gosh yes I understand that! If it was just your eldest then that would have changed things.

When mine were younger we lived abroad for about 10 months due to dh's job and I managed to register the three at school as distance learners. I'm a teacher and we pretty much followed the curriculum, particularly for maths/English.

I would absolutely definitely grab the opportunity to travel - I know it was great for my now 31/29/28 and 20 y olds.

One option would be an excellent online tutor - beware as there are some rubbish ones out there - to follow the phonics programme the school uses (easy to see from the website). Keep the school on board and have fun.

Just as a completely alternative suggestion, could your husband take shared parental leave instead? If he's off work, it would remove the issue. Maybe he could go in a year or two when things are more straightforward at home.

I would have been physically incapable of doing this with a newborn, and my husband had 2-3 months of leave with each, which colours my thinking maybe!

I think they can catch up.

There may be allowance made for parent working abroad so you need to look up the attendance rules around that. But would only matter from january (term after 5).
I think he would likely catch up but they learn all phonics by around oct half term then get reading books perhaps 2-4 a week. And can form all letters (badly). By jan they are onto digraphs.
Maths although they work on 0-5 then up to 20 there maybe other kids counting to 100 starting reception so will stretch those.

Our school seems to fill up for reception then people gradually move so several spaces by y6

We took our primary age DC out for a term, enrolled them in a school abroad, went for
DH’s work and the amazing experience. Got them back into old school when we returned.
Look at ‘guide to the law for school governors’ and 2006 Education Act, there is possibility of a leave of absence being granted as it is re parent’s work, but head’s decision. As an ex primary school teacher I would start them in reception in September with everyone else so they learn the ropes (especially as soon turning 5) and make friends, and make an effort yourself with play dates/park dates etc to support this. Go abroad (maybe negotiate a slightly shorter time if needed with the head if they agree) and then go back to school if you can get leave of absence.

if school won’t agree and you live near the school then how subscribed is it? would you wait a bit to get back in, send to another school (eg private while waiting for a place, I have a couple of friends who went private while waiting for state primary place) ? Places come up in most schools but depends on distance, how many form entry etc how easy to get back in. Our head off rolled our DC but said she’d take them back, and as we lived really near school I knew she wouldn’t find that hard to justify.

I would make an effort with literacy and basic maths while you’re away eg if you commit to this daily might help head see it as not detrimental to your DC’s education. Once you have a school place and probably once DC has started I’d email and try to arrange meeting to discuss with head or deputy. Once reception has started they will know how many they actually have in the class ie if undersubscribed in the end.

I doubt enrolling in school in Aus would be an option as their school year differs and there is a long break in December and January. Missing half a term is unlikely to do any longer term harm to learning, especially since December is preoccupied with nativity and Christmas prep and kids are getting weary. The issue is whether the place is likely to be available on return,

Headteachers will only approve absence these days for bereavement or other exceptional circumstances. A holiday, which is what this is, will never be approved.

The latest statutory absence guidance is very clear & they have issued clarification on the use of register codes and introduced new ones, as some schools were using the X code inappropriately to disguise absence.

Cant DH go out alone and then you go out for a month over the xmas holiday? I wouldn’t mess up your DS start of school just for this.

And take three under 5s in a plane by herself?! Do airlines even let people take more than two kids per person?

I honestly don’t know, my dd started reception this year and I really wouldn’t want to have taken her out in the first term for that long. It’s not so much the learning, they can catch up easily, but everything else like settling in, getting to know the teachers, she’s made a great group of friends, participated in all the school events, first nativity, first school disco, birthday parties with new class friends, getting to know the other parents, first play dates, starting extra curricular clubs with new school friends. It would be a huge disadvantage to miss it. Does your DH really have to go? I would be prioritizing your DC starting school over this.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes this is my main concern, not the learning as he’s already pretty competent with counting and we do some phonics already. It’s definitely the social side of things.

I guess my husband would have to have a conversation with work to explore alternative options. We were quite excited for the opportunity as a family, and everything considered this does make me think it’s basically never going to be an option again.

we have submitted his application, we will wait to see if he gets his place (I think that’s in April?) and then we can decide whether to have a conversation with school about being absent for a bit of time or deferring. It would be a shame to lose his place, but also he might not get the place in the first place.

But as @titchy says, I don’t fancy three on a plane by myself so I think whatever happens we will make sure we can stick together!

I don’t think we’d consider this, as really not concerned about the missing out on education, my only concern for him is the socialisation / settling in. Think it would be harder to do that twice, and I know it would be such an enriching experience to be away somewhere new.

Honestly, just do it. It’s reception not GCSEs and he will catch up, and socially he will be fine and settle in coming late to the class/school. Loads of kids have to move school at many points through their schooling, and if I had a preference myself it would be to do it in the early years when friendships are fluid and the curriculum could be picked up by myself if needed. It would be a no brainier for me to do this - opportunity of a life time, and he will learn so much in Australia through the experience. Tbh Id be more worried about how I’d cope with a newborn in a hot Aussie summer! The only issue I foresee is a place being available at that school or one close that you’d be happy with…the rest will be fine.