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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Defering summer born

12 replies

Bluedragon86 · 25/11/2024 19:20

I would like to defer my July born DD starting school so she will start as compulsory school age at just turned 5. She has a speech delay and glue ear and I just don't think she will be ready for school by September.
I have spoken to our 2 options of primary schools, both has said this is not an issue and she can start in reception at just turned 5. Our pre school have also said its fine for her to stay an extra year.
The issue is my husband hates the idea and feels she will be bullied because of it. He also thinks there is a stigma among other parents on this, and it could cause problems for both my DD and myself. Is this really the case?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Howchyyyy · 25/11/2024 19:31

Weve not had any bullying yet.
But a boy from scouts did reply that it was why dc was taller than him, because dc is older.
However i have to admit i didnt realise how poor behaviour at secondary is and that some kids bully random strangers for no reason. The boys also constantly teasing girls.
Also i would say the biggest impact has been up to y3.
The other parents havent cared.

I think generally it may being up a child who is at the bottom of meeting expectations but it wont magically make a met exoectations child into exceeding.

Mumof2girls2121 · 09/05/2025 18:10

As an august born, I don’t think it’s a good idea to defer your child. Schools allow staggered entry the child will have time to get used to it.

TeenLifeMum · 09/05/2025 18:14

It’s still quite a time between now and September. Only you know your dd but I think deferring would be an extreme decision. Dtds are end of August birthday and were premature. We didn’t defer. They caught up by year 4 and are now in to sets at secondary. With hindsight, it was the right decision. Unfortunately you have to decide without me benefit of hindsight.

springdays100 · 09/05/2025 19:27

Join the flexible school admissions for summer borns for lots of good advice.

AnotherNaCha · 09/05/2025 19:44

Mumof2girls2121 · 09/05/2025 18:10

As an august born, I don’t think it’s a good idea to defer your child. Schools allow staggered entry the child will have time to get used to it.

That’s not what the OP is asking and frankly, you being an August born has zero to do with anything.

OP we have had no bullying, child isn’t much older than regular cohort and importantly feel the right fit. It’s a non issue and says more about your husband’s insecurities than anything

imisscashmere · 09/05/2025 19:50

TeenLifeMum · 09/05/2025 18:14

Why is it an extreme decision? The school year starting in September is totally arbitrary - it’s not “extreme” in the slightest to shunt your kid back a few months if you think it will help them/ improve their school experience.

Your kids didn’t catch up til Year 4! I wouldn’t want mine to go through that.

TeenLifeMum · 09/05/2025 21:07

By catch up I mean move from average to top of the class. If everyone defers then the May babies become youngest.

Haveiwon · 09/05/2025 21:39

Definitely defer. My child isn’t of school age yet but lots of parents around here are deferring or wish they could!

You want your DD to thrive, not survive. And the statistics show that summer borns do worse than autumn borns in their GCSEs and A levels. They are less likely to go to university than autumn borns. That doesn’t sounds like “they catch up” or “you can’t tell by the end of year 2” etc to me!

Summmeeerrrrisherenearly · 09/05/2025 21:47

I’ve a summer born DD, she turned four seven days before she started school. Her best friend is a whole 11 months and 3 weeks older than her!

She has always been a social butterfly , I would say for reception she was about average with her peers - but you could see the difference massively between the oldest and youngest. She is Year 1 now and has caught up and is excelling (above average). However emotionally she is behind her best friends at least, she also very much loves peppa pig still, Bluey etc, and her friends who are 7 in September don’t.
Such a difficult decision!

THNG5 · 09/05/2025 22:31

Definitely join Flexible summer born admissions group on Facebook. My deferred DS is now in year 3. No one even knows he's deferred. Why would they? He's just one of the oldest, just like the children born in September are some of the oldest.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 09/05/2025 22:52

I'm an August birthday. I have autumn and early spring siblings. I deliberately planned not to have a late summer baby.

If you are even wondering about deferring then I would defer.

And no, they won't be bullied for it. They probably won't even be the oldest in the year.

Snoodley · 09/05/2025 23:03

Deferring is extremely common on Scotland and seen as no big deal, and it's becoming that way here (England) too 🤞

We've had no negative reactions from other parents so far. I think so long as you're clear that it's your personal choice for your individual child and don't come across as critical of anyone who's made a different choice, no one really cares.

It's tricky if your husband isn't on board... Do you know anyone who has deferred who he could speak to? Or any teacher friends who agree with you and could put his mind at rest?

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