Nativity

[nc43214321]

So we are only allowed 4 tickets for the school nativity this time, we have 2 sets of grandparents that would like to go and us as a couple, so in total need 6 tickets.

How do we do this fairly?

One set of grandparents moan all the time how their son left them out of everything to do with their children, no idea if this is true or not, but in the same breath complained they had to pay to see dance shows and they were so boring. Other set of grandparents it's there first grandchildren and probably only one they will ever have, and more involved in her life.

Obviously I've asked the school if they get any cancellations please could I be on the waiting list for extra tickets.

Next year your LO might not be in the nativity, in many schools it's the youngest year P1 / Reception
You DH and a GP from each side. Let them toss for it.

4 tickets is incredibly generous! We're a large school, it's 2 per family here. Additional tickets are first come first served after a set date as there are always some who don't take up their entitlement.

Sadly nativities are something most grandparents have to accept missing as there are simply not enough tickets for everyone in the family who wants one. The poor kids would have to perform at least 6 times to satisfy demand!

Many schools film it and make copies available to make up for this. Could you ask if they intend to do this? (It often depends on permissions, if just one or two can't be filmed they can usually keep them to the edge but if too many children can't be filmed it becomes impossible to offer.

There will be other events throughout the school year which you could offer them a chance to join, such as class assemblies and sports day.

Fairest way going forward, if they always offer 4, is to alternate each year which set of grandparents are invited. They'll each get turns, that's life I'm afraid.

So glad we have just the one child, couldn't bothered with this for years 😂 schools should just give out 2 tickets and do a video. Unfortunately our school doesn't do a video, would be great 👍 especially for parents who can't make it.

Honestly, I'd just offer one per set of grandparents and leave them to sort out the logistics. If they can't manage an hour in their own, then they miss out.

But this is me after 18 months of intensive therapy about boundaries and not enabling poor behaviour.

Yeah this ☝️

Our school allow two tickets per family. No siblings allowed either except for one of the performances. And the head takes no nonsense in the siblings allowed performance- warning parents prior that if siblings scream / cry, they’ll be asked to leave.
Fair play- who wants to listen to a screaming child in the audience during a nativity!

@Frostycottagegarden this sounds interesting, DH defo needs to go on a course about boundaries, probably me too. Not sure how this got so hard work 🫠

@CaptainRedbeardandbigbadbarry your headmistress sounds amazing 🤩

She really is wonderful! 🩷

At my school we have a day dress rehearsal and an evening performance so that helps. But really, it’s for parents. Grandparents went to their own chn’s nativity didn’t they?
Our head says no under 18s as so many performances have been ruined by screamers.

I think your DH is missing out on his own kids nativity to keep the peace.

Is his mum just anxious about travelling over alone or would she genuinely be unable to sit in the school hall without her partner?
If it’s the latter then she needs therapy. If it’s the former then let her do that and your DH can sit with her.

I’m surprised his parents would accept this: they are taking a ticket away from the father. He should get precedence in this scenario - and they should want him to be there for his child. The sensible answer is one ticket to each set of grandparents, they can choose which one of them gets to go, and both parents in attendance.

@Snowxmas @Questionary

Totally agree, not my circus not my monkeys, I won't be getting involved. Every time I say something it backfires and it's me being negative about his family 🤷‍♀️

I think one ticket per set of grandparents is better, it’s quite sad your DH has to miss it. I’m sure his parents can manage apart for an hour, his dad can drive his mum and wait at your house? (Or his dad could come but doesn’t sound like MIL would be happy with that).

Not much you can do if his parents are selfish gits, because really that's what they are if they'd take their sons ticket off him.

You have two tickets one for you one for one of your parents.
He has two up to him what he does with them.

Ask on the class Whatsapp? We always give our spares away to classmates.

Definitely check there will b e another one a different year as our school.do y r and y2.. But also policies change.

eac h nativity can be very different.

i wish ours videoed it or let us video it. Cant even take photos

Invite both of the grannies? Or both grandpas?
or forgo it yourself because you can watch the video and have heard them practicing all of their lines for weeks?

I'd just tell them they can have one set per family and if any of them won't go alone then that's their problem.

I hope your husband doesn't choose the miss the nativity.

I am just doing this with the few my little one is friends with now 🤞 thanks

There is no video unfortunately, my family are fine with just one of them going so I will not be forgoing my ticket. It's up to other half how he wants to play it. No we've seen no rehearsal and she knows her lines, she tells me she has a memory like an iPad camera 🤣 lucky her!

Find a friend to swap tickets with. They get 6 for this Xmas production. You get six for the end of year play or whatever is next.