Can a school really stop you letting your child independently walk to school?

[Duv]

My child is no where near old enough yet for this to be an immediate consideration, but in principle I'm a big believer in giving children independence where possible, and walking to school independently is something I think can be highly beneficial for children (dependent on their maturity and how close they live to school/how many roads they cross etc).

I walked a mile to school from Yr5 by myself, and whilst I remember this raising a few eyebrows amongst other parents at the time, it was ultimately my parents decision and i was soooo thrilled to be able to do it and go so much out of it.

Ive been faintly aware that the dial has been shifting the other way steadily over the last few decades, so much so that many secondary schools kids are driven to school, but what's surprised me is many primary schools claim they won't permit children to walk to school alone at all of until year 6. This seems like it's really not something that should be their business (at best they can advise on, but not enforce).

Can you just override their policy and say this is what our family are doing? Has anyone had any experience of being so bold? I see lots of people say 'if you don't like it pick another school' but that's obviously wildly impractical. I'm not looking to open a conversation about whether it is right in principle for a 10 year old to walk to school alone, as I know where I stand, I'm just interested in people's experience of school push-back.

WOW!! 5 yr old walking on their own for 15 minutes??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ok.

Yeah, I'm German and started walking to school age 5. I sure hope my kids can at least walk from Year 5 here. The overprotective attitudes really stunt kids' independence.

In principle I don't think there should be a minimum age, I actually more think year 5 is probably the age where most kids would be ready to walk around 10 minutes alone, rather than it being the minimum age (again, providing parents built up to it, dependent on the specifica of the route ). I think many kids would be ready before year 5, and obviously if you live literally next to the school it seems crazy that a responsible 8 year old can't do a 2 minute walk.

This is why I think it really has to be up to the discretion of the parents and we've got it very backwards that so many schools think they can set policies preventing it.

Roads are a real, concern, and so obviously a child must be taught how to cross safely and a parent must decide how reliably they can do this, but not all routes even require crossing major roads. I remember when I walked to primary school the whole route was on the same side of the road.

Your 5 year old walked 15mins each way alone? That is so unsafe. No wonder you are questioning your parenting.

I am a similar age to your DD and didn’t walk alone until year 5.

I'm sure my dd could manage the walk, but doesn't anyone else worry their kids will mess about with friends / go on phones etc rather than actually just walk home? My dd and her friends can get a bit silly when together, though I thought that was fairly normal for 9? She doesn't have a smartphone but sure others will soon. This does worry me.

She is y4 and I don't mind her doing some journeys on foot alone at all now, but as well as the above, to get to school there is a road to cross that I'm not 100% comfortable with her doing alone.

Anyway it's y5 in our school so I'm
Sure I'll let her then, but I can't say i won't worry!

Woah, maybe dial back the shaming? It is super normal in a lot of European countries to walk to kindergarten/school from age 4/5. In Japan, kids go shopping alone aged 3.

The age you are most likely to be killed crossing a road is 11 or 12. You are still MUCH more likely to be killed at age 15 than at age 5.

I think that this is partly because we are not giving children independence early enough. The schools that only allow children to walk alone in year 6 (the summer of year 6 in some cases I have read on here) are not giving those children the time to develop independent travel skills slowly and carefully. Walking to and from school is about the safest independent walking a child can do as there will be many others doing that same route at the same time. Stopping this is making it much harder for those children to transition to safely making their way to and from secondary school as they simply have not had time to develop the road sense that comes with experience.

Where I lived until recently, catchment secondary was 9 miles away and some popular schools required a change of buses. The contrast between being driven door to door in year 6, to travelling far longer distances by train/bus, with a walk at each end is massive and it is sadly unsurprising that this age group sadly end up the victims of the most road accidents. They haven't been given a chance.

My children were born in the early 2000s. They started leaving school alone towards the end of year 3, but I'd meet them at the end of the cul-de-sac the school was on. I'd gradually move one junction further away, until they were confidently doing the whole 15 minute walk home by the end of year 4. In the mornings we'd do the same in reverse. In years 5/6 they could detour to the shops or park should they want and it gave them confidence. I know of children who massively struggled with the transition to secondary school because they were driven door to door throughout primary, yet in year 7 were suddenly expected to walk 5 minutes alone to a bus stop, take a half hour bus ride and then have a 15 minute walk to school in an unfamiliar town. It is simply too big a change.

I agree. 11/12 is year 7, so potentially the first time children are walking alone, probably going further and doing a less familiar route, with no practice on a shorter more familiar route to primary school in years 5&6.

A lot of this is cultural differences, not bad parenting.
What's normal/acceptable in some places isn't necessarily in others.
Don't call someone an inadequate parent just because they're allowing their children some independence.
At least we don't have 4 x 4s blocking up the roads around our schools.

I think England is in a bit if a Catch 22 situation. Its dangerous around many schools because of the drivers. But if more children walked alone, there would be less cars, and more awareness of the children.

Side note about 11yos and accidents. Mobile phones. I live near a secondary school. Its scary how many children just step off pavements into roads as their face is buried in their phone...

Not my experience of Scotland. My kids' school won't allow any walking home alone before age 10.

@NukaCola totally agree. That's been my experience as a child, parent and teacher in Scotland.

Horror or horror - a lot of children walk home for lunch too!

Switzerland, Germany, Norway, Japan (likely others?!) all encourage children independently travelling to school from the first year/s of attendance (which varies depending on the country).

In our case the rule is you're not allowed to walk yourself until you're in year 6, and year 6 pupils are not allowed to bring in/pick up younger siblings. I can see the school from home, and both DH and I wfh. It's no problem for us to walk them, I actually quite like it, but my oldest is already asking why he can't walk with his friends/go on his own (fwiw he's nearly 6 and he first asked me in the first week of reception 😂we are a LONG way off), or even why I can't leave him at the gate and he can get to his classroom by himself from here. Nope, the rule/expectation is a parent will walk him all the way to the door and make sure he goes into the room.

Does make me draw correlations between the common complaint that teens/young adults can't do anything/think for themselves. It's not just walking to school, it's nearly anything you can think of where previous generations might not have had adult supervision but kids today are almost always within arms reach of a parent/guardian. For example playgrounds...somewhere explicitly designed for children, most likely subject to rigorous health and safety checks, fenced off etc...yet the norm where I live at least is that adults will trail around after their kids and be no more than a metre or two away from them most of the time (younger kids this is, probably <8). If you don't do that then your parenting is questioned. It's really, really sad.

They've not had half the autonomy and independence that previous generations have had. Yes the world is busier, cars are faster, there are more awful people around, but it's still really sad to me how much that's limiting the day to day existence and behaviours of millions of people, and therefore restricting/delaying life skills like decision making, observation blah blah.

Our primary school had a policy not to allow children to leave with anyone under the age of 16 (shitty note pinned up in the window)

I'm sure it was aimed at me,as I'd asked my oldest dd (who turned 16 the day after) to pick up her siblings as I was very ill (almost ended up in hospital-single parent)

They refused to let them go with her-the eldest child of the school was in year 6 and we lived up the road-no roads to cross and a 3 minute walk (if you walked slowly,via the shop)

I still remember the nasty phone call from them and I had to walk down to meet them-massive waste of time,she was more than capable of walking them home but that day,I was so ill I could barely walk

The next day,they would have been fine with her picking them up

Bloody barmy-it was a massive one off and she turned 16 less than 9 hours later (they kept banging on about insurance-god knows what they meant by it)

As a child myself,I remember my father screaming at me because I didn't want to walk alone to school

My mother had taken me for the first week and she didn't want to do it anymore

I was 4

Aged 5+,I'd walk to my grandads house-over 2 miles away and over 3,very busy main roads-two didn't have any traffic lights-you just waited until you could cross (you could be standing for 15+ minutes)

Nobody battered an eyelid-it was normal

It's so frustrating, I was desperate as a kid to be able to go home after school, watch TV/play with my toys, but I had to go to a childminders where I felt way less comfortable and couldn't relax or do homework.

My responsible teenage siblings were at home and willing to watch over me for the hour before my parents got home, and I was an easy-going responsible kid, so would have been no problem, but essentially all because I couldn't walk home I was forced to go to wrap-around childcare that didn't really benefit me and was probably quite costly for my parents.

As well as fostering independence, walking to and from school offers practical benefits to kids:

• exercise and time outdoors
• conversely safety (we forget walking is generally safer than getting in a car!)
• Potentially the ability to go home rather than to childcare (obviously depends what home set up is),
• The opportunity to socialise with other kids (when I started walking to school I made friends with the minority of kids who did walk to school (some walked with their mum, some independently) and it was quite social, and these were different kids to the ones I hung out with within school hours. It was a nice change.

I was a 'latch key kid' whilst still at primary. I'd get the bus home (country roads with no pavements so walking was a step too far) to an empty house, call my mother on the landline to let her know I was home, then hop on my bike to take the dogs for a run or watch tv till she got home. Had a snack cupboard I was allowed to rummage in, or fruit/toast etc. I was about 9 I think. Would have loved to have houses/friends around to socialise with after school but we lived in the middle of nowhere. Am still in my 30's, not like it was an outlandish number of years ago. I only remember a handful of friends being driven to school once we hit secondary, everyone either walked or took the bus. I don't remember many people cycling, which surprises me now.

I told the school I would be letting my then 9 year old (year 5) walk home by himself.

No pushback (state school, large English city suburbs).

I also told the school I would let my 14 year old collect my 7 year old in cases of emergency when I could not. No pushback.

The only time I had pushback was when I said I wanted the then year 6 to occasionally collect the then year 3 and walk home together (10 minutes, 2 road crossings). I said I was comfortable with my decision and they left it.

I'm very much for fostering independence at a young age. I think it's to do with growing up in London and knowing that street smarts are important. So many children are ferried everywhere and it's so bad for them.

I can tell by your use of "outwith" that you're in Scotland too. It;s like chalk and cheese the attitudes here compared with down south.

@NukaCola "outwith" is such a great word. It took me years to realise that it was only used in Scotland.

What do English people use instead eg "He lives outwith the catchment area?"

We walked to school and back either by ourselves from when I was 7 or so, I think plus I had a DB 2 years younger.

Fast forward to today, I’ve got a 6 year old going on 16 years DNephew who could easily walk himself to and from school but he’s very extrovert and friendly to both parents and kids alike and I don’t think he recognises stranger danger yet. So he’s walked or driven to and from school now. I think by 10 he’d be able to do it by himself.

Maybe outside? We live outside the catchment area so didn't get into the school.

The school would be on the phone to you asking where they were if they hadn't showed up - that's duty of care/safeguarding, they have to try and locate every child.

Very unlikely they'll notice how a junior school child arrives at school. You will have to argue with them about letting them walk home alone if they have an over cautious policy though. They still want to know the year 5s can see a parent before letting them go at our school. I feel this is unnecessary.

What I conclude from the data in your post is that we should let our 5 year olds walk home, but collect our 15 year olds! In 1979 there were minimal speed restrictions or safe crossing places. Also I doubt the data is showing that 12k children were knocked down and killed, it most likely includes all type of road accidents i.e. children dying as passengers in cars with no seatbelts. Apples and Pears.

It stranger danger, and cotton wool parenting that are the reasons for not allowing younger children to walk home, not road safety. 11-16 year olds are in just as much danger as a sensible 8+ year old. The age limit seems very arbitrary and I feel far more comfortable about the idea of my 8 year old walking a safe, well used route 15 minutes home from Primary than I do her walking home from several of her secondary school options at 11.

DS’s school repeatedly reported me to safeguarding and accused me of neglect because DS was cycling or walking to school by himself. He was fine, and he had a good support network in place. It’s bloody ridiculous