Delayed reception entry - summer baby

[Teatime1]

Hi there,

My son is a mid-July baby and he's due to start school next September but I'm seriously considering taking the option of deferring for a year. His nursery reassures me there's always a few kids that stay behind but I don't know if that's because they have additional needs because everyone I've ever met that has a summer baby has sent them to school straightaway... In his case, he doesn't have any additional needs but he's more babyish at this point in the year than his older brother was (a March baby) and I don't see the point in making him work harder to keep up with his oldest peers if he can just spend another year getting to a more comfortable place. On the other hand, I don't want him to feel self conscious or feel like he doesn't fit in if he's a foot taller than his peers and having his 6th birthday in his reception year when some of them have just turned 5...

Has anyone on here deferred entry and what was your child's experience like?

I'm not someone who deferred and can advise you on how that worked out. But just posting to reassure you that summer borns can do just fine :-)

I had the same questions/scenario as you, and decided that my late August born boy would start in his correct year and we have had no problems. He doesn't have to work any harder than his peers, but he is at a school where the class size is small and it was manageable for the teacher to tailor and tweak the lessons so that he could go at his pace. If possible, maybe you can discuss with his future school (if you know it) how they can best support?

I’ve done it, my DS started in reception this September, aged 5 and 2 weeks. It’s one of the best decisions I could have made for him. No regrets at all. The difference between Sept last year and this September is unbelievable. Just things like being able to do up his zips and remember what’s for lunch.

Some schools/local authorities are more open to it than others. There is a very good Facebook group that gives advice if you do go down this route.

I have a summer born who I didn't defer - he's now in Year 1 and thriving. His best friend was deferred and is over a year older than him. It seems to have worked well for both of them for different reasons. My son's class is quite young though and even with a mid-Aug birthday, he's still older than a couple of others.

I think it can be beneficial for some children to have a bit more time. However, just to note, starting a year late and being ‘over age’ can create complications when applying to secondary school - in particular if wanting to apply to a selective state/grammar school. That may not be relevant to you at all or your area, but just thought I’d mention it as something to be aware of.

Deferring can have knock on effects eg with sports teams which are strictly age restricted, also they may not thank you as teens needing to be in school an extra year. I'm an august birthday

My DC were educated in the US where Kindergarten starts at age 5. I still kept them back a year in pre-school and they started at age 6. I felt one of them lacked self-confidence and would have found school overwhelming, the other hadn't really started learning letters or numbers (later diagnosed as autistic).

They both did very well and I think keeping them back was a big part of that. The unconfident DC was comfortable standing up for themself nicely, and the autistic child despite having a slow start with reading and writing has done excellently academically. I think if I had pushed them ahead they wouldn't have done as well.

It came down to a gut feel of how I felt they would do at school.

I met one mother who told me 'I have met many parents who regretted pushing their child on, I've never met one who regretted holding them back'.

Obviously in the UK you have to consider things like SneakyScarves posted.

We deferred our early July DS for no particular reason - just felt older was better than younger! He hadn’t been to pre school as we had been overseas rurally & it seemed a bad idea sending him straight into Reception.

He turned out to be an academically and athletically able, socially confident child. We didn’t adjust his cohort for sports so he played football, rugby etc out of school with the year above. His classmates were all aware he was in the wrong year & while nobody was unkind about it (some parents were though!) he became increasingly aware of it. He was upset to do well in a Y3 race when he ‘should’ have been in the Y4 race so it wasn’t fair on his competitors - that sort of thing. So we actually moved him into his correct age group this year, so he’s skipped Y4. We were increasingly worried about issues at secondary school & school thought this was a good point to make the change.

I don’t think we did the wrong thing deferring him, he had an extra year at home (very at home as that was Covid!), and the re calibration seems to be going fine.

This +++

Dd1 was soooo ready for school just after her 4th birthday but had to wait 7 months to start. Dtds are 30 August premature babies. They were tired the first term so we did no clubs / swimming until year 1. Always hard to know if it’s the right decision but they’re now year 9 and doing well. I’m glad I didn’t delay.

It's only November. Children change a hell of a lot in a short space of time.
At this point your child has only turned 3 not even 4 months ago.

How have they settled at school nursery etc?

My daughter is a July born (was meant to be August) currently in year 1.
From the start of school nursery in the September to her starting nursery there was a massive change.
Academic wise she is ahead of her peers, reads fluently etc.
Social wise when she first started Reception she was a little behind as she preferred to play alongside her peers or by herself. Towards the end she was playing with more children.
She is very happy and settled and I'm glad she has stayed with her peers.
She goes to dance class twice per week and she does prefer playing with the older girls but when she was at a dance festival she was interacting with all of the children her age etc.

*from starting nursery in September to finishing in the July.

Mid July child here and I didn't defer - I didn't even consider it and I'm glad I didn't. We're year 5 now and a large chunk was mum school during covid but he's ahead of average by some way in reading and maths so is really holding his own.

Each child is different and you have to have faith in their ability and not automatically write them off this early on just because they are born in a certain month.

Year R is learning through play and I'd also consider whether another year at nursery/pre school would be boring by the end.

We had a very staggered start and were part time for a month as that's how our school did it so that's an option.

Thanks, everyone! You've been really helpful. Reading all of your messages it sounds like he'll pretty much be ok either way and I don't need to stress too much about it so I think I'll just wait until January and check in with his nursery to see what they think is best and trust to that.

I don't think you even had to make the decision in Jan. We applied and stated in all our applications that we were considering deferring. Once we had been allocated a school, we went in to meet with them to discuss what was best for DS and just had to make the decision by whatever the deadline is to accept (May??). While we would have deferred based on Jan, we knew by May that we didn't need to.

We deferred our June born son and the process defers between local authorities. We had to submit our application by January with confirmation of support from the schools we were thinking of applying to the following year. Not problems with the application process for us and it just sailed through.

There is some misinformation on here about secondary schools and sports teams though. As more families make the decision it's much easier to navigate than it used to be. FA now has a form for sports teams etc and the local authorities are required to have a process for dealing with secondary school admissions (same form to apply for delayed entry when DC is in year 5 here) and just apply for a place with adopted cohort.

Best decision for us. If we'd sent DC when he was "supposed" to start this term would have been a very different experience with navigating toilet accidents and meltdowns. As it is he's loving school, making friends and discovering a love of books.

You know your child best. There's a reason why you're considering this so don't let anyone scare you from doing it if it's the right choice for your DC.

I could not imagine my immature 3 year old starting school at the time he started at the school nursery. He was slow to talk and I worried he'd be slow picking up reading etc. Turns out he was very independent and academically able and complained about the phonics lessons being too slow in reception. Would not not have been a good move to keep him back but I did consider it. They can be 'babyish' but still ready to learn. You know your own child best but I would wait a bit before making that call.

I'm a teacher and a summer born mum. My dd turned 4 at the end of August and is doing amazingly well in school so far. I was worried about her readiness but she's proved me wrong.
From a teacher's point of view, it makes little difference. I've taught summer born who are high fliers and autumn born who struggle. Summer born often struggle initially in reception and ks1 but by ks2 there's little difference.
Also check the schools policy. Some head teacher's will put a child who has deferred straight into y1. You do NOT want that. Reception is so, so important.

My 9yo is deferred. Now y4
Irs been good
But it doesnt fix everything. The curriculum moves quickly even if they are that bit older so if a child were very behind developmentally it wont fix it
Likewise dc probably has adhd and social issues which seemed ok into y3 but now y4 starting to get left out of parties they went to last year.
Similar happened to my in cohort autistic dc bht a year earlier.
Main advantages have been
Extra swimming lessons from 4-5yo preschoolso got to stage 2
Would asside from covid have had 2 years prwschool rather than 1 yr
Not eldest in class to move up in brownies or scouts rather than being left there up to a yr after some friends.
Was better at sport till y2 but gradually other overtook.
The youngest in year often gets picked on including by teachers. Just today the only aug child in year hurt a friend.

My eldest moved up to secondary just over 12 and has really struggled. The increase in homework. They are bright but its tough to get into top sets. And because kids tend become friends with.kids similar birth months shes with a jan/apr/jul and aug kids and theres lots of drama and falling out.

The biggest difference is the individual child and sen etc.
But day tomday its easier to be eldest and lower down to the group than cope with harder work.and.social etc