Expectations of a 4 year old in reception

[Carbis]

We had our first consultation evening last night and I’m a bit worried about what is expected of my son.

The teacher said that he is too chatty and doesn’t sit still during group time. She says when she speaks to him one to one, he knows the answers so seems to be taking everything in but he doesn’t seem to be listening.

From the timetable, it looks like they are doing an hour of group time first thing every day. That seems like quite a long time for 4 and 5 year olds to sit still and pay attention to me. Are my expectations too low or are theirs too high? At the open day, the school really emphasised outdoor and physical activity so I thought my son would get on well there.

The teacher did say if there’s no change by Christmas, she can get him a wobble cushion or something to fidget with. Should I ask if he can just have it now? Is there anything else I can do?

Perhaps I sound a bit precious but it all sounds stifling to me, I thought while they were little things were more free flow.

You don’t sound precious but I think you should have a bit more trust in the reception teacher to manage the situation.

Reception is a hard transition and it’s all still very new. I think the picture will be very different by the end of the year. Try to resist the urge to micro-manage from behind the scenes. Ultimately you can’t. This is a learning curve that your son needs to get through, and he will. Just support him and the teacher.

I would clarify whether they really are required to sit still for an hour and not actively participate. What the brief timetable description says is not necessarily going to explain what happens during this group time.

There's no harm in asking if they could try the wobble cushion/fidget toys now, rather than wait. Then also work on those behaviours at home and at any out of school activities.

From my experience, there is a lot of free flow and outdoor time but the teachers do also have some content (mostly phonics) that does need a certain amount of sitting down and teaching each day too. It can't be entirely free flow or they couldn't ensure that every child has the input that they need.

Reception children will definitely not be sitting for an hour! Did the teacher show/explain the timetable or have you just seen a copy? I would assume 'group' time to be just that, the teacher working with groups. I'd guess there are probably 4 or 5 small groups in the class and each group works with the teacher for 10-15 minutes, while the others are choosing in continuous provision, before swapping. Ask the teacher to clarify what 'group time' is, and how long he is expected to sit, if you need to but I would be stunned if it is an hour whole class.

It's early days. Most of my own Reception class have come so far in 8 weeks in terms of their sitting, concentration and participation on the carpet. We've gone from 3-5 minute short bursts in week one to several 15 minute carpet sessions spread throughout the day already (phonics, maths, handwriting and topic). Those who are still quite floppy or wiggly, or chatty or fussy, will get there soon. Most teachers will have high expectations from the off, with lots of praise for those doing the right thing to help the others catch on. If we don't, they won't learn the school expectations by year 1. It's harder to undo habits if you've allowed them to flop about and chat over the top of you early on. Better to start as we mean to go on, but accept that it will take some longer to get there than others (especially summer borns).

I imagine they're reluctant to give fidget toys or wobble cushions yet because it is still early days with plenty of time for him to improve. If you use them too soon, they may become reliant on them. I imagine the teacher was just saying they have things to help if no improvement.

Give him time, I'm sure he'll get there. Yes they are only 4, but there's nothing wrong with high expectations as long as he's not being punished/reprimanded for not being able to meet them yet.

Did the teacher suggest getting his hearing and eyesight checked?
Problems with either would give the pattern you describe of managing better in 1:1, when the teacher and any resources she is using to teach with are closer. Don’t assume he’s fine as what you see at home more replicates the 1:1 situation than the being part of a group of 30 that he is struggling with.

Once that’s been eliminated then push for the wobble cushion to be introduced. As well as the movement, it would also help if he is physically uncomfortable sitting on the floor cross-legged.

Thanks everyone. The teacher said that group time is when the whole class sits on the carpet together. She said she tries to squeeze in activity breaks but it sounds like she’s not able to do more. It sounds like this isn’t particularly unusual for reception so this assuages a bit of the guilt that I might have chosen the wrong school.

I will get his hearing and eyes tested.

I still think there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere . No Reception class are sat on the carpet for an hour, surely? If so, the teacher and the school are severely out of touch with what is age appropriate. I would seek further clarification as that really doesn't sound right.

Did you not have an induction evening or a curriculum overview. I’ve never seen dc have to sit for 1 hour in YR. Would this be half the group for half an hour?

Did he go to pre-school before reception?

My son attends one which is attached to the school he will ultimately go to. The pre-school massively prepares them for reception and they have structured activities including group carpet and table time.

If your little one hasn't practiced this before (no fault of his or yours!) then surely they can't expect him to adapt to reception as quickly as a child who has? It's only been two months. There must be other children in the same position 🤔