Do we need a thread for PTA chairs to come and scream into pillows?

[brightpompoms]

What a job? Who would do it?

We do, are we mad? Definitely but I do love it. But honestly sometimes it makes me want to scream.

I thought by the law of averages there must be a fair few Chairs on MN. So we may need a support thread to get through Christmas and beyond!

Hello! I'll join in your screaming!
"You can't please everyone" is my mantra...

Hiya I'm relatively new to this. I've been co-chair twice over 15 years but always with someone really efficient and who really just did it all.

Now it's on me in a brand new school so we are starting from scratch with under 30 pupils.

what's your school like?

I used to do it - found some simple things helped massively like having a WhatsApp group for all reps and occasional helpers. Light chatty positive banter - only PTA related obviously- really helped build a sense of community and we're all in it together feel. Lots of thanking people for their time, "even an hour makes a huge difference" etc and we now have about 40 regulars in our 2 form entry primary who engage and help when they can, give ideas and even come to the meetings sometimes!

I am not a PTA chair but want to mention that there's a current storyline in The Archers about being the Chair of a primary school PTA! Perhaps it was more realistic than we realised, reading the OP ...

@brightpompoms I would keep your sights low with not even 30 pupils! You won’t get full engagement from all parents so keep it to a minimum. Recruiting a helpful committee takes time and being over ambitious is a recipe for sleepless nights. Just find a way to welcome parents into the pta and the school and develop good relationships with the staff. It will build up and you will find your stride, I’d concentrate on the easy stuff right now and get your constitution etc sorted.

As an ex chair, ex secretary, and ex treasurer I am enjoying The Archers storyline.

My top tips:
Don't over commit, only plan what you can actually resource.
Keep an eye on expenses, some parents focus on the fun to the detriment of the fund raising, you need a balance.

Has everyone signed up to the Asda fundraising thing! We don't even have a store near us but we have £60 in the pot. You get money just by people selecting your school in the app.

I still get flashbacks from way back….
never again

As a Treasurer, I second the tip to keep an eye on expenses. The rest of the committee think I'm a total fun sponge for pointing out when things don't make any money, but we do need to charge more for events than it costs to put them on...

Also, ignore people when they complain that they don't know what PTFA money is for/that a particular event is happening. We have a PTFA section in the weekly school newsletter with a 'dates for your diary' list. We send emails. We have a Facebook page. We still get accused of secrecy.

I am also enjoying The Archers storyline!

Can I join, please? I'm not a chair but have been sec for more years than I care to remember. Every year I say I'm going to step down, but the AGM rolls round accompanied by the sound of crickets, with us scratching round for people to step up. We've tried all sorts of ideas to get people engaged, but nada. Parents are quick to criticise when an event doesn't go ahead or it's not to their liking, but they never stick their hand up and offer to help. "Oh but I'm sooo busy with work and the kids...". Er, yep!

< off to listen to The Archers... >

The 'spooky disco' v 'Halloween disco' seemed very familiar.

We also had debates as to whether to include 'Happy Christmas' in the children's own design Christmas cards (where you get them made up as cards, mugs or whatever). We didn't.

Was a bit worried re lack of parental supervision at the disco. We always made parents of infants stay.

Glad I got out before WhatsApp groups existed.

As another PTA treasurer, I feel your pain. I did make a point that our last main event made less money last year that previously purely because people spent soooooo much money buying stuff that wasn't really necessary. But it seemed to go over their heads.

I wasn't a chair, but on a pta. Ours worked well because we became a friendship group, but in a (hopefully) non clique way. Our chair was good at speaking directly to people at the school gates for help, rather than using posters or sm asking for assistance. She was also good at getting teachers involved, so for example for school fates each child was set with a challenge to get involved. You got the odd arsey parent, but in all it worked well. You will always get the same little group doing the grunt work though.

How do people balance the conundrum of kids missing out if parents don't pay for things? It would be very obvious in a small school.

Hello! I'm now in my 5th year as PTA Chair.
We have a very small school (less than 50 pupils) but I have a core team of 5-6 parents.

We had our Halloween party yesterday - asked parents for cake donations for the party, & get a good response (just been selling off the remainder this afternoon). BUT we have 1 child with allergies & their parents didn't give us any cakes - so effectively there would have been nothing that child could eat! Why??? They're not hard up (I know them), the child has 2 allergies which preclude them from pretty much any store bought standard cakes (dairy & egg) & yet they couldn't find the time to purchase even one bloody pack of cakes their child can eat??? The party has been advertised for weeks.
So it was left to me to go charging round the shops yesterday morning to find suitable options for this child so they weren't the only child without anything to eat. WTF?

For us we generally make things 'by donation instead of payment' to get round this. We don't do any events now where payment is mandatory for attendance, & find people are generally more generous anyway.

From my own committee experience I offer those grumbling the opportunity to get involved and take on a role.
Sometimes known as
' Passing the monkey back! '

When mine were at primary we tried to keep any entrance fees down and make up on more optional items such as glow sticks.
Anything in school time, such as dress down days were donation only (usually something for a tombola) and no one enforced bringing anything.
School fairs had no entry fee, but discos did.
Similarly at the school fairs we tried to have a variety of low cost things as well as more expensive so people could still have a good time.

However something like cake fairs it was important to charge at least the cost of making any home made cakes. No point someone donating £5 of cake and selling it for £2.

New PTA secretary and Y1 mum here- don't know how i got talked into it. I'm a chartered company secretary but I'm guessing this will be different!

Life is such a house of cards at the moment, with two kids, a full time job and a DH that works away a lot. I don't know how I'm going to fit it in. I said yes the 102nd time I was asked, in an unguarded moment.

So, following for ideas!

BTW all the similar threads showing for me are about dining chairs . . .

I am lucky that the secretary does all the heavy lifting. We have just had to cancel a PTA AGM as noone was going to attend. Rescheduled for after half term so fingers crossed we get some people turn up.

Get Easyfundraising too. Parentkind is also really good for ideas and admin advice.

I've been involved with secondary PTA for 8+ years. 3 as Chair.

The problems are slightly different (no school gate) but the complaining parents who do little to help reassuringly the same.

@brightpompoms I think some things like discos will cost you more to put on then they raise. We always did teas and coffee plus biscuits for parents evenings and no entrance fees. If parents don’t want dc to join in they won’t engage. However with 30 dc you might find big events very difficult. I’d start working with HT and set your goals. 30 parents won’t give you much wriggle room for events so I would not be over ambitious just yet. See what parents are pressed to do, then plan accordingly.

The best piece of advice I was given was - accept how much help you have and plan accordingly.

The first chair I ever was alongside constantly wanted to do events that needed 20 volunteers but we only ever had 10 readily available and willing volunteers. It meant every event was a nightmare of hassling for more volunteers, milking the willing ones for extra hours and just constant stress.

The second chair planned every event based on 8/9 volunteers. If parents asked for more we said we couldn't as we'd need more helpers. Eventually we ended up with the original 10 volunteers plus another 10 because they knew the chair would only commit them to what they'd offered and not be on their case begging for more and more.
Things were much less stressful and we didn't actually make much less money.

I don't see me ever getting involved again. First time not involved in 17 years over several schools. But DDs new HT is someone I have worked with before and I know how she treats the PTA so I'll be staying away.