Started reception - accidents, awful behaviour - help!

[purplebeansprouts]

What do I do? My child started reception this year - Slowly her behaviour has deteriorated. Potty training (wees) has gone out the window and I am having to wash her school uniform every day due to accidents. I've taken her water bottle off her to see if that helps. She kicks and bites at home now like she's 2 again. It's like she's regressed! help what do I do!!!?

Yes she was fine there and at the start of term

She's been to nursery. She was toilet trained no issue. I did all the things they asked me to do before she started

I send in spare clothes but she never comes home in them. I've been using tactical wee! She loves bluey :)

Could your DD be autistic? Most of the children in DD reception are potty trained, none have accidents except the neurodivergent ones..

This might sound obvious but do they know she has spare clothes in her bag? Sometimes, when you're dealing with toilet accidents in a busy classroom environment, it's easier to grab school spares rather than root around in bags to see whether the child may or may not have their own spares. It might just be worth mentioning next time you bring the spares back that she does have her own on her bag.

Don't be so ridiculous! Of course children can have toilet accidents at that age. It's very common and perfectly normal, especially when they start a new environment. Stop scaremongering with misinformation.

She won't be the only one OP, this is really really common. Some of the kids will wait until they get home to explode into a bundle of irrational rage, my DS1 always did. When I taught Reception accidents were really normal as well, especially in the younger ones and at this stage in the term. Just keep giving her lots of love and reassurance and I second the "tactical wee" advice, she'll get there

Could your DD be autistic? Most of the children in DD reception are potty trained, none have accidents except the neurodivergent ones..

Bah, ha ha. I e got eight EYFS children in nappies.

She is toilet trained and was doing really well at it until the last couple of weeks

She needs a water bottle. Don’t take that away! Kids need to drink more not less and giving less will mean her bladder won’t get full enough and can lead to constipation and wetting accidents.

Right water bottle is back in thanks so much everyone!

Could it be the uniform and she is shy to ask for help? My son struggles to get the trousers down if at home because it is quite tight at the waist (or else it will fall down).

@purplebeansprouts the issue is not your daughter.

How long has she been toilet trained? It's quite normal to regress a bit. Both of mine did after a few months (they get a bit complacent). If she wasn't trained long before starting school, this may be the issue.

"She kicks and bites at home now like she's 2 again" - this jumped out from your description, so she has acted like this before, what was going on when this happened (any significant changes). From experiencing 2 kids going through school - I've only experienced two kids acting like this, the first was a late August child and she moved down a year, the difference was amazing and clearly what was needed. The second was an Autistic child who needed additional support. In both cases the child was distressed in the environment.

You say she doesn't come home in her change of clothes - is she being left soiled? If so that needs addressing with the school. I'd also look into the opportunities to go the toilet and make sure they are reasonable / she understands the schedule or to ask.

Accidents and overtiredness, stroppy tantrums can happen at end of year - but kicking and biting is unusual at reception age from my experience.

It is tiring to start with, especially for younger ones. Is her behaviour okay during the day? There's a lot to be said for taking a snack to eat in the playground before setting off home, and flopping in front of the TV for a bit when you do get home.

DD's school used to let us collect her at lunchtime if she was getting tired - she had one afternoon off most weeks in reception, which seemed to work well. Obviously that only works if you are able to collect her, and not if you're working full-time.

DD used to be worse again after school for the first week after every holiday - until she was about 9, I think! Once I realised and planned for it, it wasn't so bad.

Talk to the teacher about the toiletting. Do you remind her to go at home? They might need to do some reminding, or watching out for that tell-tale fidgeting - I expect they'll be trying to do that, as obviously they don't want the accidents.

I've fucking hear it all now, your kid is autistic if they have an accident aged 5....Jesus, is this is a joke?