Worried about DS lack of school friends

[Looopyliz]

My DS started reception in September but previously attended the pre-school in the same school and with half of the children in his class for a year before that.

For info, apart from small talk at the gate I haven’t managed to make friends with any mums/ get a rapport enough to try to suggest a play date.
But unsure who I would ask or how to go about it as he doesn’t seem to have made any friends. There are 30+ kids in his class.
We were aware of many birthday parties happening but my child has only been invited to one (whole class invited) party in a year and a half.
The school says it is working on social skills with him but I see him trying hard to play with these kids in the playground and at the one party and (particularly the other boys) generally push him away.
It makes me feel so sad that, while he doesn’t seem bothered now, eventually he may notice this and feel upset/ like an outsider.

I wish I knew how to get him and me more inter grated so he could form some friendships.

Am I being silly and worrying unnecessarily at such an early stage. I just don’t want to get to the point where he feels left out later if that makes sense.

Does he do anything out of school were he can make non school friends, like cubs/football etc ?

You don’t need a ‘rapport’ to suggest a playdate, and I really think you need to disentangle your own social life from his. I almost never did the school run because of work , so knew virtually none of the other parents, but I just WhatsApped the parents of kids DS liked and invited them over.

Also, he hasn’t even been at school for two months. I wouldn’t expect him to have made any friends yet.

Agree that you don't need a rapport to suggest a play date.

In similar circumstances I threw a Halloween party and invited the whole class.

We got some invites back and I was able to meet the children and see who they (I had twins) played with.

My own social life is fine it’s just all of my friends either have no kids or grown up ones.
How do you WhatsApp other parents when you don’t have anyone’s number? There’s no school/ mums WhatsApp group, or certainly not one I’ve been added to.

Like I said, he’s been in preschool with over half the kids in his class for a year already so I did hope he’d have made a friend or two after a year and two months.

Not yet but now he’s had a bit of time to settle in I’m going to look at something like beavers. Hopefully that will bring a new set of kids into the mix! :)

I’d planned to try a whole class birthday party this year but his birthday is July so it’s a long wait.

Hopefully over the year more time together and school social events will help to build friendships

You might just not get a chance to click with the mothers but still push on for a play date, see who your ds talks about/ would like over. And don’t worry, he’s so young, hopefully he’s enjoying school anyway x Ps just to note it’s a really large class size and he may be getting lost in it. I’d echo the above poster to see if there’s a sport/ club/ art class or similar he could try

Well, if there isn’t a WhatsApp, start one? Or ask someone at pick up if there is one? At DS’s first primary, his Reception teachers asked permission to circulate a sheet of paper with all the class names and one parent’s phone number, I think because they got tired of being asked about how many children there were for parties. Then one parent made a WhatsApp from that. He joined his second school mid year and someone approached me in the yard after a couple of weeks and gave my details to the administrator.

Why don't you be proactive and suggest some park meet up. Is there a class whatsap? If not, start one up. Parents are more than happy to do some initial park meet ups at the start to get to know other parents. You could also ask your son or teacher if there is anyone he plays with....then try arranging a play date with them.....in the park or inviting the parent over for coffee/tea for an hour while the kids play.

Some schools have a social therapist to help? That might help