Reception child very anxious

[Bananasinpyjamas1988]

Hi

my summer born DS started at a prep school in September. We just had his first parents’ evening and it was awful - they said he is leagues behind the bottom of the class.

the main problem seems to be fine motor (we know he has a delay in that) but then the need for constant coaching to do any of the activities, which is clearly a concern for the teacher as it takes her away from the other kids. However the activities mentioned are often ones he’s very comfortable with at home. Apparently at school he just ‘freezes’ which I think is anxiety - I think he feels inadequate in a class of 4/5 year olds and doesn’t feel supported so he just bottles it.

he knows all of his letters and can count on one to one correspondence up to about 15, and can count up to about 30. she says he is ‘way behind’ but I thought that was fairly normal for reception but the meeting with the teacher was a real sucker punch.

unsure if he really is that behind or if this just isn’t the school for him. Does anyone have any advice?

This is rubbish. They are tested on times tables in year 4. The expectation is they know them all by the end of year 3, not reception.

She deserves to look nervous. She's very lucky you didn't take issue with the terms she used to describe where your child is at and I think it would be helpful for everyone if you did raise the issue. She can't go around describing children in these terms. The SENCO doesn't appear to have done anyone much good since you haven't got clarity - what did they accomplish?

I would be interested to know how long this teacher has been in the job at this level and if she has a teaching qualification.

Phonics Bloom online is a great way to practice sounds. You might also want to look at Nessy. Both will need your support at this stage.

They are so young and trying so hard. My son is in Reception too, and struggling with remembering all the instructions as well as the other children seem to be BUT it's been met with enthusiasm and positivity by our Reception staff who are all geared up to help him, not to criticise and label and compare in a negative way. I know it's because he's tired and a bit scrambled. It does sound like a high-pressure teacher and maybe a high-pressure school and perhaps that's just not necessary nor helpful for such young children?

Agree with your DH, the teacher sounds out of her depth or inexperienced with early years. We just had parents evening, my DD is 4 and just started in reception at a state school and we had similar feedback with regards to anxiety and fine motor skills. However the school have already put in place interventions and are eager to support her to develop and actually a lot of the children are similar. With reading and numeracy, the kids are all different levels but they teach with positivity and loads of encouragement. I think it’s grossly unfair of your DCs teacher to describe him as being behind - at the end of the day this is what they are going to school to learn and they should be supporting him to get to the level they expect him to be at.

I would be asking what they are putting in place to support your DC. Sadly I do know from my own experience that private schools can be a bit cutthroat academically. Doesn’t help either that some parents coach their kids from a young age as it skews the perception of what average is.

Hi op how is your son doing now?