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Primary education

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Original poster

Please help me explain to DS2 why being the youngest in the class isn't so terrible....

7 replies

legacy · 23/04/2008 12:08

DS2 - August born - is the youngest in the class, and I think also in his year.
It's a very visible thing with the other children - they all know their 'pecking order' due to the brithday parties, and I think there is even a chart on the class wall with birthdays on.

Anyway, there isn't a week that goes by when DS isn't in tears about being the youngest in the class.

I know one or two of the other children have said things like 'you're the youngest' in a way which has upset him. Although I can't be sure, I think there might also have been some 'you're still a baby' type comments too.

I've tried so many tacks now to explain away why being the youngest isn't so bad:

still has his party to look forward to
must be clever, as he's in the same class as people almost a year older
it won't matter in a few years time, no one will notice
he'll live longer than his classmates ( OK - I was getting desperate THAT day...)

He's tall for his age, and more than keeping up with his classwork, so that isn't the issue.

Any ideas of what I can get him to say in response to age-ist comments?

Should I be talking to his teacher?

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cazboldy · 23/04/2008 12:12

I was born on August the 31st - so was definitely the youngest.

don't know if it will have any effect, but you could tell him he will only be 15 when he leaves school, and some of his friends will be nearer 17! It worked for me

Also the thing about being very clever as he is doing the same work as the older children.

Being picked on is horrible - for any reason - especially one you can't do anything about, but I would leave it to blow over if you can, I can't see what talking to the teacher would acheive, unless she could maybe have a chat with them all about nastiness in general, rather than focusing on your ds......

ecoworrier · 23/04/2008 12:18

I'm not sure it's the birthday that's the issue, more the 'pecking order' thing or nasty comments. I'm never come across that before with regards to birthdays. I was always the youngest in my class at school and never came across it. One of my children is nearly the youngest in his class and has never encountered that sort of mentality.

Of course, they vaguely know when people have birthdays, because they have parties or bring sweets/cakes into school or just because they talk about their birthdays, but it's just not an issue.

August birthdays are really great, it's the best time of the year to have a birthday in my ever-so-slightly-biased opinion!

I would just try to impress on him how silly/babyish the other children are if they make such a fuss over nothing and how as you get older no-one takes the slightest bit of notice.

bringmesunshine · 23/04/2008 12:22

I have recently explained it to my summer babies that they get to have fab parties in the back garden with bouncy castles, ice cream etc etc whereas older children tend to have rain on their birthday

Smithagain · 23/04/2008 12:49

I think I'd be inclined to have a word with the teacher if it's upsetting him that much. My DD1 is the second youngest and I think she is completely oblivious of the fact. There just doesn't seem to be any age-related pecking order in her class - and they are yr1 now, with a birthday chart on the wall, so it's not as if they don't know when people's birthdays are. Sounds like your son's teacher could be doing more to encourage them to treat everyone with equal respect.

DD1 knows that her birthday is later than most of her friends. She rather likes having a summer birthday, because of having outdoor parties and getting presents half way from one Christmas to another.

I occasionally hear some of the more "sophisticated" girls making comments about her liking babyish things - but I don't think it's because of her age, I think it's because she's short, and - er - sometimes quite babyish

katyt1 · 23/04/2008 12:52

Def talk to the teacher, it sounds like a form of bullying and she/he should be made aware of it.

I would go with the weather for birthday parties one, my bday is feb and i'm envious of dh who is august for that reason

booge · 23/04/2008 12:54

I always loved being one of the youngest utill my friends hit 17/18 and could go to the pub. I'd go with how cool it is to have a summer birthday that's not close to Christmas and say their parties might be earlier but his will be better.

singersgirl · 23/04/2008 13:03

DS2,6, is the youngest in his class (31st August) and, come to think of it, so is DS1,9,in his (15th August). The only thing they really mind is not being at school on their birthdays - so they never have a fuss made of them. DS1 is much more bothered by being the smallest.

It seems strange that other children are so aware of it it, but I guess when you're little turning 5 or 6 or 7 is a big deal.

If he's really upset, I would have a quiet word with the teacher to find out what is going on.

I'd also stress how great it is to have a day off on your birthday and all the fun you can have with a birthday in the summer. Can you list favourite people you know with a summer birthday? Their adored grandfather was born in August too, and my birthday and my mother's are in July, so we have lots of parties in the summer.

I'd be a bit careful about the 'being clever' stuff- I once had a child to play who told me that she was the youngest in the top reading group, which made her the cleverest! Mine know they're clever anyway !

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