Reception behaviour

[Friend1010]

Hello

My child started school in September, and has been having some challenges with carpet time, less play and being a little disruptive. Their 2nd week they were left out of the classroom for an hour as they wouldn't do as they were instructed (supervised). They would be allowed back to the class once they did as instructed, but this did take an hour. There have been some other similar incidents of being sat away from the class/ in the corner and not taking part in certain things.

There's a lot of emotion from my child, some progress being made and some communication with the school. I'm all for setting boundaries and holding these, but I can't help but feel this was a little harsh for their 2nd week at school.

Any opinions or any ways I can help my child settle? Thanks

If it's happening as you've said that's appalling and I'd be removing my child immediately. Have they told you this or has your child?

What were they asking him to do? Was the request a reasonable request? If it was then I would absolutely support them - first do as asked then you can play. It's no different to home here - if I ask you to do something then no play until it's done??

I think it depends on what they would/wouldn't do as to whether taking them out of the class until they complied was reasonable or not.

I'd make an appointment to speak to the teacher and try to work together to overcome these problems. Try and guage what the teacher is like/how much experience they have etc.

Do you suspect your child is ND in some way?

As above. If that's what they've told you has happened they aren't helping your child settle at all and I'd be looking for a new school.

Depends what the instructions were.

If the instructions were stop strangling Fred then yes I'd expect him to be taken out of class as standard procedure for violence is to remove if possible.

Impossible to answer without details.

Yes, agree with pp's that the request they were making is key. Was it dangerous for them or others for your child to remain in the room. Was he disturbing the learning of others?
Also, what is their behaviour policy and where does it fit with that?

So the examples above are things like not crossing legs, not lining up quietly, not sitting still at carpet time. Of course anything dangerous or disruptive I would absolutely agree they should have to act more strongly. I'm just trying to understand how to react, as I've supported them on this as I appreciate the teacher is holding boundaries, needs a large class to conform.

It does sound like it's low level disruption which does have the potential to a) mean that he and others can't learn, (or can't move onto the next activity because the line isn't resdy) and b) have the potential to domino I to something bigger, either through your ds pushing the boundaries more, or other children thinking those things are okay if your ds gets away with them.

I'd suggest a meeting so you can agree on how to address together

I would say that they do expect children to sit quietly etc but the punishment seems way too harsh for someone who has been in school a matter of weeks. My DS is in Year One and it's the kind of thing I would expect from my son's relatively strict teacher

Honestly you'll look back at this a few more years into your child's school journey and will have completely forgotten it. Reception isn't a big deal lots of kids are mischievous and the teachers have to be strict at the beginning to get them all used to sitting and listening.

Is he young in year?

Did he behave the same in nursery?

Thanks everyone. I agree I wouldn't want others to be disrupted or things to escalate! I am with the school in terms of enforcing these rules early for sure, just having a wobble!

That sounds way too strict
they have only been in school like 3 weeks
and he’s only young

If he was hurting another child then I can see why they’d need to remove him.
For the things you’ve said I’d be expecting encouragement and reminders. Help from a TA etc
Does he want to move about - where are they taking him? Do they have a sensory room etc he can let off steam in?

Their 2nd week they were left out of the classroom for an hour as they wouldn't do as they were instructed (supervised). They would be allowed back to the class once they did as instructed, but this did take an hour.

I do find posts confusing when posters refer to one person as 'they' and not 'he' or 'she'. But that's by the by.Ehy is it taking your child an hour to do as asked? What does your child say the problem is?

It does sound an extreme overreaction from your version of events, but I do question here whether we're getting the full story? They sent my child out of the classroom because they wouldn't sit quietly with the rest of class sounds ridiculous on the surface. If wouldn't sit quietly actually equates to they were running around screaming, tipping out toys and throwing missiles while the teacher was attempting to deliver input though, it suddenly makes a lot more sense.

Ultimately, we can't tell you whether school are overreacting and delivering harsh consequences or not OP, because we only know a couple of drip fed bits of information. You need to hold a meeting to establish full facts. You need to enquire about their behaviour policy and you need to ask what they are doing to support your child in understanding how they are expected to behave in school before you can really decide whether the actions are justified or not. You definitely need to try to work with them, rather than against them.

I would be highly surprised if your child was removed from class for minor disruption though. Usually, this level of response is to protect your child and others from harm. You need to know exact details though, rather than simply he was being disruptive.

It sounds like he's being given chances to correct himself and then refusing. Is that correct OP? If so, being removed is fair.

Does he ever do this at home? How do you deal with it?

It doesn’t sound as if the staff are intending him to have such a lengthy consequence, presumably they expect them to very quickly decide to comply and then go back in. However, they can’t really go back on that if he takes a long time, as it would be undermining themselves. I also feel it must be slightly different/ more than being fidgety etc… as that type of thing doesn’t match what you said about doing what’s instructed outside the classroom (surely they can only follow that request in the circle time itself).

I think a few times, as a battle of wills so to speak, being removed is ok as a first try, one size fits all approach. However, if it continue to be a pattern with not much improvement, it clearly isn’t a strategy in itself and a meeting with the teacher would probably help address a root cause. Like others have said if it is a case that your son “can’t ” rather than “won’t” follow the expectations then constantly removing should only be because of a real detriment to others.

Hi OP, I'm a teacher, albeit not in reception. My understanding is, he was perhaps asked in class repeatedly to do as you've described, but he refused. Is that correct? Apologies if I've misinterpreted things. In any case, sending a reception child out the room seems really unusual, and not particularly good practice.

Most YRs I’ve observed have an amended curriculum for dc not ready to settle. It’s inevitable a few won’t really be ready for school in all sorts of ways. Sitting still is one of them. So whole class activities are an issue. I would expect the TA to have these dc doing something else and they need to work out what! He should not always get his own way so the teacher will need to draw him back in eventually or he won’t learn what he should. I would have a meeting about this with the teacher and see how you can work together. It’s going to be a middle way of him accepting school has rules and he can have playtime to run around.

Does he have good rapport with other adults? Has he been compliant with other adult requests? Maybe talk to him about pleasing his teacher and making friends.

There are a million ways to achieve a goal without the exclusion of a child! Honestly that went out at least twenty years ago.

Firstly expecting every child to sit a certain way and still is nonsense. By all means ask them to sit, but stop this nonsense of telling them to sit in a certain position. Christ 40 odd years ago my mother had to get a specialist to inform a teacher that the way she was telling us to sit was damaging for children's hips and knees. I wasn't going to physio 5 times a week for the craic.

It simply isn't possible for a lot of children. Our school has exercise balls wobble boards etc to help a child that needs them.

Of course teach them to be respectful and listen. But for goodness sake we now know developmentally some behaviours are typical.

I am going to take a huge leap and guess this teacher doesn't appreciate that all children need regular movement breaks? We know all children need them.

I suspect they are being taken out to stop disrupting tge rest of the class, rather than as a punishment