Advice for potentially bright 3 year old?

[OneAliCat]

I'm a little embarrassed to ask this because I hate the idea of being 'that parent' who thinks their DC is a genius. I definitely don't. But my 3 year old (summer baby so not long 3) is now picking up phonics quickly, can recognise most sounds now and is blending new words together with some success. If she stays interested I'd imagine her reading level to be at the higher end of the class when she starts school next September. So I'm not assuming anything unique, just that she could be on the brighter end.

So we're looking at schools and the last one we visited was really lovely, kind of soft and gentle. They did loads of reassurance that phonics starts a really slowly, they'll just bring home wordless picture books at first etc. We have a couple more to see still.

DP and I were thinking after that visit about what environment will be best for DD. We were both the brightest in our primary classes. DP was mostly bored and got lazy - not challenged, so didn't bother with anything they couldn't immediately succeed in. On the other hand I was singled out significantly and given different work, sent to older year groups, treated like a mini teacher. Really unhealthy. I got a complex about needing to be absolutely the best and treated as exceptional. Neither is what we want for DD, if she turns out to be on the more academic side.

There is another school we could look at - academic, religious (not our religion but we're comfortable with it), rated outstanding. We wrote it off because it's much more formal in its learning even for early years. They get very high results. Parents I know there love it and say it's kind as well as strict; expectations are high and behaviour is excellent. DD would not stand out as the brightest there I'm sure - and I wonder if that would be good for her? Appropriate challenge (unlike DP had) without making her too conscious of her abilities (like I had).

But it's not the kind of primary school we thought we'd be looking for! I thought soft and fluffy would be what we wanted.

Any thoughts or advice?

I should add, these are all state school options. We don't have the desire or means for private.

Is she in nursery or preschool? They would be best to speak to for advice as they know your child

More formal is not necessarily best for more academic children. It may mean they are less flexible about, for example, giving extension work or allowing a child who’s finished early to get up and grab a book.

I’m not sure how you know that the more formal religious school would have a higher number of more academic/advanced pupils?

Honestly I think you need to go for the school that you think suits her personality and your ethos best. Early Years academic teaching is not going to vary all that much between different state primaries, but ethos and atmosphere may well do.

The religion thing will be more prominent than they tell you.

I was told that children would be starting with wordless picture books too but DD was able to read basic words before starting school and has just come home with her first reading book. Nothing too difficult but it has simple words. They target reading to the level of the child, but mention the picture books because of course children are at different levels when starting school.

Best thing is just ask the question “my dd seems to already be picking up her phonics - what do you do with kids who can read a bit when they start?”

And see what they say.

Look at all the schools available to you and pick the one you think she would be happiest at overall, where pastoral care is important, where there is a good school community, outside space, varied activities and most importantly where the staff are happy and motivated.

There is a huge range at this age, unless she's reading war and peace next September she isn't going to stick out to the extent that it becomes a problem.

If it's any comfort, my DC is at nursery (so same school year as your DC) and they're all learning phonics/reading, it's normal for this age group. Not all will get it immediately obviously, but she's unlikely to be the only one reading.

I would be careful not to react too much to your own schooling as different characters suit different things and what bothered you might really interest your DD.
it's a tricky one it sounds and I wish I had advice otherwise but can't think of any! Every personality is so different and I would keep an open mind and definitely pay attention to how happy parents are with a school environment as that can count for a lot

It sounds like the school you’ve already seen fits your values and personalities as her parents the best, so pick it. She is going to learn to read at either school and you have absolutely no idea about her future academic ability or proclivities, so it’s pointless taking that into account unless you yourselves had a strong preference for a highly strict or academic school, which you don’t.

Is it definitely phonics that she is picking up, or is she coming up with her own way?

If she is creative and innovative a stricter environment may not be as suitable as it would for someone who learns and follows pre existing rules.

Does the religious school have better results or better value added? This is the key thing to look out for. A school with demographic of children who have high cultural capital and investigated parents will always have good results but value added will show the impact of the school.

DC1 had taught themselves to read by 4 - we've sent them to our nearest school and they differentiated beautifully. They realised really fast that DC's reading was excellent and so started sending them home with proper word books - two, rather than one - AND a general reading book.

If you like the overall ethos of the school, I'd trust that they'll recognise your DC's ability. At the very least, they'll provide a healthy, comfortable base for your child while you stretch them at home.

My child is the brightest in the class at a similar religious school. It’s fantastic for him. I was always the brightest (through school, did very well at university etc) and experienced a range of things - I think being looked at carefully as a whole child is the most important. School is kind and recognises that while DS is very intelligent he has other (social) areas of need which are carefully attended to, in the same way as they carefully attend to the other kids’ handwriting

We looked round three primary school - a high achieving fairly formal school , a very mixed 'fun' school and a smaller 'middle of the road' school. All three were popular and rated 'good'. We picked the one which we felt suited our ds's personality and learning needs. The most important thing is the 'feel' of the school and what is right for your child - this is not necessarily about the academics.

Kindly, I think you're doing a lot of projecting here.
Your daughter is not you. Schools and teaching have changed since you were at school. New entrant classes will see who can do what and teach them accordingly. What your lovely girl can do at 3 is no great indicator of her academic prowess over the next 2 decades. Choose the school you think suits your values and where she will be happy.

Academics is such a tiny part though. Tale a look at the eyfs and find out the huge and varied list of stuff they have to be able to do to 'pass' reception. Dd1 also rocked up being able to read. But she could focus on bit more on other fine and gross motor stuff that's just as important, and also the social side. It's also really good for her to revise what she already knows to support writing etc.

agree !!!

Thank you, I think you're spot on. Lots to reflect on here!

DS is very bright and summer born. Tbh, he’s naturally pushed because some of his class are almost a year older than him! I think your worries are more relevant for secondary than primary.

The national curriculum is massively more challenging than it used to be so it's not comparable to school a generation ago. Very, very few children are bored now because they find it too easy - I can think a handful since it came in 10 years ago. Blending sounds in your pre-school year is good but not exceptional, especially amongst autumn borns in the class. Because she'll be young for her year, you benefit in that sense.

My DD was a quick reader and knew the basic sounds when she started school. She went in a year 1 phonics group when the rest of her year were learning the set 1 letter sounds and she made quick progress with reading.

If my dc's experience is anything to go by there'll be a handful of around her level.
Dd1 and dd2 were reading chapter books and beyond when they started, and I mostly ignored the school reading books for them, with the teacher's blessing.

But really early reading is just that, early reading for the majority of cases. In both their forms there were dc who weren't reading at the beginning of the year, who were better readers at the end than some who came in reading.

So just encourage her to read, enjoy it.

I think the main advantage of an early reader is that they are reading books they find interesting at 5yo, so they want to read more which brings their reading on quickly. Whereas those who are learning, are struggling both to read the words and to stay focused because the "story" is just so boring.

Be thankful she's Summer born so at least she will at school at just turned 4. I would seriously think about the more academic school. Also a school with a catchment where the kids are fairly able would mean more kids like her they could stretch as a group. My older child was reading before school and does find the core subjects at state primary very easy. Her school does recognise her ability and sent home books with words straight away and gave her and a couple of other kids some year 1 phonics work but they don't have the time to teach her at her level, we have to do stuff at home and they appreciate that. Secondary should be better.

And I know you haven’t mentioned it, but it is important! Think about the journey to school, are you committing yourself to a 25 minute car or bus commute in heavy traffic for the next seven years, or a ten minute walk down the road chatting about nothing and meeting up with other families on the way.

Primary school is so much more than the academic learning, it is about learning to build relationships outside the immediate family, about growing confidence and independence, about realising that you are a member of a community with shared experiences.

My DS seemed very into books and reading, very into numbers and counting, at 3. He is in a more academic school and thriving, absolutely loves it - even though he's not very sporty, not amazingly social, he loves the more academic learning and so I think this environment has been very good for him.

As much of the class is similar, I have noticed in photos and videos that as a matter of course, bigger numbers than you might expect for the age group are used in maths games. He is inspired by his friend who knows his times tables. I would definitely look at all of the options, talk to parents in the area, but consider for an academic kid, an academic school may be a great place to be.