Potential autism diagnosis - how to approach North London private school?

[Mom3Boys]

Hi,
my Year 1-aged son has a potential autism diagnosis - he will shortly undergo the ADOS assessment.
He is in a relaxed North London private school. I am anxious about telling them as I'm unclear on quotas of ASD kids they can support/ any other consequences of having an ASD diagnosis in such a competitive schooling area.
Has anyone been through this journey? Any advice as to how/ when to approach the school about the potential autism diagnosis? What should I be thinking about, as we start this journey?
Thank you!

i would look at how your child presents his neurodiversity.
there may be certain support aspects that the school would have no difficulty in implementing but equally there may be a red line in the sand of behavior that they may not be able or willing to accommodate.

i would equally begin to look into local state schools that may at any point be your next school.

Our relaxed North London prep school was actually very supportive and the SENCO brilliant with advice, suggestions all the way up to preparing for the 11+ for DS who has ASD, hyper-mobility and dyspraxia. In fact it turns out quite a few children in the year group had additional needs but not necessarily with an ehcp in place. I've never heard of the school having a SEND quota but if it is the case then maybe it's for the number of children with an EHCP. Definitely make an appointment to speak to the SENCO, they will be more than willing to help.

I would flag it early - if it is a good school for your child they will engage more deeply on how the neurodiversity presents and what sort of support is needed. If a school dismisses your application on the basis of neurodiversity then it wasn’t a good school for your child.

my dd has just received an autism diagnosis in y3. We joined our ps mid way through reception after a really difficult first term in state, and they have been absolutely brilliant. The environment is much easier for her due to smaller class sizes and calmer environment, but they have also been really proactive in suggesting additional support when needed. Some of that support came at an extra cost, some did not. We were transparent when applying, and there were taster days where staff were able to assess for themselves the level of support required.

on the con side, we do know some send families that were counselled out of the school because school felt they could not meet the needs of the child. Mostly this happens early on (reception) or at transition points (y6). I understand why the school makes that call, but it is stressful as a parent to then have to completely rethink your plan. In most cases the child ended up in specialist schools with ps supporting the process, so not a disaster, but there is a feeling of vulnerability in the private sector where you aren’t entitled to education in the same way a state school would be obligated to educate even if the provision was poor.

Also, I would have thought the school would be contacted as part of the Ados assessment- our assessment required school input

Am really grateful for your thoughts - thank you all