Can I just demand that DS be allowed to miss PE forever?

[Hassled]

DS2 is Yr5, Dyspraxic. School is good and have been quite proactive with his needs - eg applying for funding for a laptop because his handwriting is so slow. He has friends, and is generally OK but is going through a very self-conscious phase - embarrases easily and worries a lot about what people think of him.

However, twice every f*ing week he has to go through this ritual humiliation whereby he has to try and hit a ball with a bat, or do something that involves co-ordination. And he needs to get dressed and undressed reasonably quickly which he can't do so the whole of Yr 5 are waiting for him. And no one wants to be his partner because he'll make sure that they lose whatever co-ordination based game they're playing.

I've just had enough of it - there is no point him doing PE. He will never, ever be good at it. He's routinely in tears after school about PE related comments from other kids or things he feels he cocked up. He walks to and from school each day, we do activey things each weekend, his health won't suffer if he misses this nightmare at school. So if I go and talk to his teacher about this, does it sound eminently sensible or is there no way round this torture?

Isn't PE a compulsory part of the curriculum?
It's certainly worth a try. It doesn't sound like he's gaining anything from these lessons.

I think you should talk to his teacher about how they will include your son and his particular needs in all the lessons.

It depends on the school and their ethos. You should ask them. It does sound sensible to me, especially if he does sports outside school anyway but you do run the risk of him being singled out by the rest of the kids anyway because he doesn't do pe.

I don't know what the legal position is, but your suggestion sounds perfectly sensible to me. I would definitely talk to his teachers - they may not realise how much of a problem it is causing him. Good luck.

I think the best thing to do is to talk to the teacher, it is their responsibility to protect your son's physical and emotional welfare at school.

I would not say that you want your child to stop PE altogether but ask if the teacher has any ideas on how to make him feel more involved and less pressured. If you can't come to a satisfactory agreement then re-consider stopping him from doing it altogether. Also ask your son what would make it better for him, include him as he may not want to stop as he would be different from everyone else.

I think you need to talk to his teacher about it. There must be some compromise on wat he is expected to do and when, and how much. He certainly shouldn't be feeling like he is stopping others from going o PE - mus make him feel terrible, poor lad. Is there a support teacher that can stay with him till he is ready and take him along later?

My ds is dyspraxic and is 13 now and was hopeless at PE but that was before he was diagnosed and so he had to get on with it which I felt terrible about but he now says he's glad he persisted and can do a few things now and can even skateboard which is amazing as he still spills food everywhere and can't tie his laces!I know its hard and you will be tempted to take him out but maybe talk to the teachers to see if tehy can concentrate on his strengths

Thank you everyone. He doesn't really get any extra support (bt does have an IEP - which focuses on the losing battle of handwriting atm) although they are doing things like teaching him to touch-type. It's a big school - 96 a year - so the PE thing is more complicated; different people teach the PE/Games depending on what it is they're doing and I think lack of communication is part of the problem. I don't even know who most of them are.
DS2's view is that he wants to stop doing PE altogether. I suspect it may be compulsory at Yr5, though.

Ds has a battle with writing and has a neo typewriter in class.His friends all know and are great and tease him in a friendly way.He is doing brilliant at school and his teachers all say he is bright enough fir uni I worry he may never drive but try not to look too far ahead.Is there anything physical he enjoys /can do?

PE is compulsory. Bugger.

Ds is still doing it and has to do table tennis can you imagine?His partner is v patient. \it can't be compulsory for all as some disabled children jsut couldn't take part and dypraxia must be considered in teh same category.Ask tehm as I don't know.

My DD is Year 6 and also dyspraxic. I enrolled her in a gymnastics class when she was six, because she would get so upset about not being able to keep up with her classmates in PE. She did it for a couple of years and it really helped. She does two dance classes a week now and did swimming for a couple of years until she got her 400 metres badge and decided she had achieved enough. All these things are much, much harder for her than for her peers, but the rewards in terms of her self-esteem are immense. She will never be the best in the class at anything physical, but she can keep up with them now. Sports day was always a huge trial, because no matter how hard she practised (she used to run around the park for weeks before) she would always come last. The year before last she came second or third last and she was really pleased. Last year she did even better.
I am really, really glad that we took the route of concentrating on out of school activities that boosted her co-ordination. I know your son wouldn't want to do dance, but what about trying aikido or something similar to help with his co-ordination. You might find that it will boost his confidence at school too.
As far as changing is concerned, we still have problems with this too. She had to have shoes with laces last term and they were a disaster for her and really slowed her up. We are back to velcro again for next term.
I would talk to his teacher and see if there is anything they can do to make PE less of an ordeal, but if you can find some enjoyable activity outside school for him too, it will definitely help.

Thanks again - we've tried and abandoned gymnastics, but next week DS2 starts some swimming lessons - specific ones for kids with co-ordination problems, which sounds great. The martial arts sounds like a really good idea and one I will definately pursue. So much of it is about self-esteem. I just don't want this twice weekly public humiliation at school anymore - the thought of him having to do table tennis makes me want to sob!

PE is complusory for disabled children, even those who are profoundly disabled. Its up to a teacher in combination with a physio to differentiate and help the child to progress.

I don't think you can expect a dypraxic child to be let off PE, but you can expect the teacher to differentiate activites as they would for any other subject.

However other children struggle with reading. Should a dyslexic child be allowed to skip literacy because they hate it.

PE is not compulsory in the sense that everybody has to do the same thing.

My dd (Yr 6) cannot join in the ordinary games because of the risk of damaging her joints. Of course, it would be nice if a physio came in and worked with her- but there are no resources. I think most of the time she does her exercises in a corner, unsupervised.

She also cannot do physical activities, even gentle physio, for the full 45 minutes of a PE lesson as this would be contrary to her treatment programme, so she does spend some of it sitting in the library.

Yes, it would be lovely if the resources were there for somebody to assist her, but our local LEA only does statements for children with learning difficulties and without a statement you get no money.

Not suggesting that the OPs ds should not do a full PE programme, but you definitely need to discuss the situation with a teacher. And if the school doesn't come up with any solution, then I would threaten to withdraw him.

Message withdrawn

very sad for your ds Hassled - my son is ten and not dyspraxic but has various difficulties with balance, coordination, dealing with people rushing towards him etc - he finds it very difficult to throw and catch properly but he does persist in having a go - he is probably never picked for teams and often in sports day events he mucks up his bit which causes his house team to lose points. The other children thouigh seem remarkably tolerant because he does try and is respected for making the effort and he has made huge progress in his skills and confidence..so really it might be a good idea to keep your ds doing PE - being excused a class might also make him feel different too,which wont help.

forgot to say ..ds does have OT once a week with an LSA which has really helped