DC's instant dislike of reception teacher - help

[feb1982]

DD has recently started reception. She has taken a strong dislike to her teacher who seems lovely and popular with the other children. DD says it’s because of her accent (she has a fairly strong accent from a country in the UK). We have friends from this country who DD knows, so it’s not as if she’s never heard the accent before (and we know people from all over so it’s not like she’s only exposed to our local accent). The teacher took me aside to say that DD won’t interact with her at all and gets upset if she’s 1 on 1 with her. She says it does happen sometimes with certain children and they do often warm up over time but not always. I really don’t want it to negatively affect her school experience and I feel bad for the teacher too!! Any suggestions what we can do?? She does seem to like all other aspects of the school.

I didn’t want to read and run, but I cannot think of a single thing. Go on holiday to this area of the uk? Will DD hear this accent on tv? I’ve never heard of this before but realistically she’s not going to see any change so I guess she’ll get used to it. Could be a long YR! Explain about people being different but if DD considers them kind, friendly and perfectly ok it is somewhat unkind not to not talk to the teacher. Would she comprehend that?

I can't think of anything you can do either. Are you sure it's because of the accent? My sister is a teacher and had a child refuse to speak to her for weeks as the first day she met him she had to tell him off for something very minor!
I think maybe a chat about it being rude to not answer the teacher/work with her etc but that we don't have to like everyone but we do need to be polite.

Another who can’t think of anything, except get used to it.

I think this is one of those situations where you need to lay down the law OP. It could come across as very spiteful and intolerant and she needs to know that it's 100% unacceptable to be like this just because she doesn't like the way she talks

As someone else said, I wonder if accent is the real reason? Perhaps someone with that accent she can recall a brief comment she didn’t like but can’t bring that to mind now or feels bad doing it? Or it could again be on the first day they were asked to sit down or something which made them feel bad embarrassed or told off? As a psychologist we often hear (and narrate ourselves!) a version of events that for many reasons doesn’t quite explain the whys and wherefores and sometimes we don’t know why.

You have probably done so, but I’d be inclined to explore it and try to problem solve and get to the answer that way? Something like I know you’re not really getting on with this teacher, but that’s really hard when you don’t speak with them as they don’t know then how to help and support you the best way way they can. When they talk to you how does it make you feel? Why then do you not reply (although that may be obvious already!) x

Unfortunately for DC, they don't get to dislike people on the basis of their country of origin/accent. Were they crying and refusing to engage because their teacher had an accent from a different country, it wouldn't even be up for discussion as a possibility.

Having a good relationship with the teacher is important, would the teacher / you be up for her having some 1-1 time with the teacher each morning, just before school starts - playing a board game or reading books together. Even just for 5-10 minutes, something to help build up the relationship.

It's tricky, because even as adults we don't like everyone we meet, and sometimes can't even put a finger on why exactly we don't like them.

Hopefully they can develop a good relationship in time.

I had a child who told his parents that he didn't like being in my class, because I didn't talk properly. I'm from the Midlands, and taught in the south east. So I don't use a long a, and my u sound was different, to him. He was autistic though, and in his world everything had to be correct and 'right'.

It wasn't personal, but it was clearly very uncomfortable for him. I felt for him, but they're really was no other class that he could be in. And he hadn't given any sign of it to me.

There are voices I can't bear too. There was a teacher at the same school who had a voice that made me shudder. Not the accent but the grating tone of it. I remember wondering how her pupils and TAs could bear being in the room with her all day every day.

So I empathised with him, but there was nothing I could do.

hopefully the teacher will ask for advice from more experienced staff.
it happens - and at 4/5 should be sorted.

How did this work out in the end?