Desperately need opinions - moving Reception child - sooner rather than later?

[ThisSharpNavyRaven]

(I posted at the beginning of the summer about moving house before reception starts, if anyone thinks this sounds familiar)
We are moving to a new area next week. We (maybe stupidly) decided to start him at the primary closest to our current house last week, as we didn't actually know the move would go through until yesterday, and he was so excited about going to school with his friends. It's gone well, he's been pretty chilled about it. Likes it but hasn't made loads of friends or anything and is obviously a little unsure about finding his footing there.

The school I was hoping to get him into near the new house has no places (we thought we'd have got a place by now but that hasn't transpired), we are 4th on the waiting list (120 cohort, inner London so quite transient). My second option in the new area does have places, and he could start in a week or so if we get on with enrolling him there. It's the second option because the facilities are a little run down and end of KS2 results were poor last year. But parents I spoke to love it, the children there seem lovely and the teachers I met were really nice. It's also about 5 minutes further walk from option 1.

We can commute him to current school (20min drive/cycle) but he'd have to do wrap around as my husband would do all drop offs and pick ups around work. If he goes to local school I can do it all and he won't have to do wrap around (have two younger children at home).

Do I -

1. Keep him at current school until place comes up at first choice school in new area (who knows how long this will take).
2. Start him at second option in new area, in which he could start in a couple of weeks.

Other factors - he obviously doesn't understand much of the decisions being made, but I've been speaking to him throughout about the fact that he won't be at his current school long, and he seems to understand and accept this. He talks about it himself and tells people etc.

• My husband is ok with the pick ups and drop offs, though obviously not long term (ie past a few months).

If you've read all this, I applaud you! As you can tell I'm in a bit of a tizz about it, so PLEASE no harsh words about what a terrible time to move house etc. It wasn't exactly the timing we'd planned but you know what buying and selling houses is like, and the move is definitely what's best for our family in the long run.
Thank you!

You're better moving him sooner rather than later. If you wait too long he'll make some more friends and may be more upset about leaving. Or, because he knows he's going, he will keep to himself and that might affect him if he's there a few more weeks.

Will your waiting list place change when living closer to the school?

Personally I would keep him where he is until a place comes up in your preferred school. He will make new friends. Year R they are very happy to play with whoever whenever, and they don't make firmer friendships until end of year R, so moving him in a month (or few) won't be much of an issue.

What will you do if, by Christmas, there’s no movement on the waiting list at your preferred school and your DH has had enough of doing pick-up and drop-off? And have you secured wraparound care at the school he’s started at?

If the current situation isn’t sustainable indefinitely, I would move him now. But I would have an eye on what the wraparound care situation is at the school(s) near your house unless you plan to stay at home once your younger children start school.

@Sirzy yes, you're probably right. Also, I keep thinking that the people above us on the list may decide not to move their child when they get to the top, if they are in different circumstances to us.

I’d move him to the new school now. I think it wasn’t a great idea to tell him he wouldn’t be staying long at his current school - it can be unsettling for him. He could be waiting months to move to the 1st choice school. Most schools close their waiting lists at the end of the 1st term so it would start again and you may end up further down the list.

@CatStoleMyChocolate yes, that's the question! We'd have to move him at that point, and maybe it would be harder that he's been there longer. Wraparound is good at current school, with spaces and both the schools in the new area have substantial wraparound care which reception (and nursery children, if my middle child ends up attending) can go to.
Him having to go to wraparound at current school is a big negative for me though. He won't like it (he's already said he's scared of going) and I've been really looking forward to being present at pick ups and drop offs whilst I'm off work for the next year or so.

We moved when our youngest was 7. Completely happy within a couple of weeks, lots of new friends, play dates, etc.

@MrsSkylerWhite thank you SO much. I'm wracked with guilt about this, so it's really nice to hear positive stories of moving schools!

If you move him to the second choice school now would you then move him again if a place becomes available at the first choice school?

I moved primary schools when I was 7 and made new friends really quickly. I remember it as being exciting, not scary.

We actually moved him again several months later: the school we had chosen announced it was merging with another and being taken over by a large academy group. There was a lot of fuss and bad feeling and we really didn’t want to be involved with it. Again, he was welcomed as the new child and settled happily very quickly.

Our experience is that young children really are incredibly adaptable. A very different story for our then 15 year old who struggled terribly. I’m afraid we had little choice though 🥺

Your little one will be absolutely fine.

Sooner rather than later. We had to do this with our 12 year old in year7, as we got a place in a preferred school closer to new home but too far for a commute. This was in the October half term so around 6 weeks in.

First she resisted but when we visited the new school she saw the positives and agreed to the change. Friendships didn't form until much later that year so nothing lost.

With a 5 year old it should be much much easier. Do it now.

@Muchtoomuchtodo that would be another big decision to make! It would mean him attending 3 different primaries, which is maybe too much... I think I'd see what we thought of the school with spaces and go from there. In hindsight, I wouldn't have started him at his current school, but the house move itself was up in the air, and I'd actually written off the second choice school until I visited and spoke to teachers and parents, who gave a much more positive picture of the school.

I moved mine in year 4- it really was fine. Secondary moves can be very difficult but younger primary moves are much simpler ime

I’d personally keep him at his current school until there is a space at choice 1 OR Easter next year, whichever is the sooner. At Easter I’d cut my losses and put him in choice 2

It's likely you'll move up the waiting list for first choice school once you've actually moved.

I'd maybe take a slightly balanced approach. Term has only just started, and there is likely to be a bit of shuffling about in the next few weeks. If schools have no shows, it will also take them a little while to confirm this.

So I'd maybe plan to get moved and settled in, and continue to take him to his current school for say a few more weeks, and then see what the situation looks like with School 1. If there's still no places, then I'd start him at school 2.

This plan also has the benefit of not making him deal with a house move and a school move all at the same time!

I would keep at current school till move needed - my DS moved late in reception and settled incredibly quickly -

Yes this.

You don't want to be at current school indefinitely but a short period while things settle down sounds feasible, especially if you put an end date on it that you control.

Is there any risk you will lose the spot at school 2 if you don't take it up now?

@redskydarknight this is such good advice, and really resonates with my gut feelings. Also lets me manage the initial house move stress without also dealing with re-settling simultaneously. Especially hearing most people's experiences on here of moving primary children have not been too traumatic!
People have been so helpful on this thread, I'm so glad I posted.

@Aria999 yes, this has crossed my mind! There are only 3 spaces at new school, so there is a risk these will go if I leave it too long...

My friend moved area and couldn’t get both her boys into the local “desirable” primary.

So had them spread across two schools.

To her enormous surprise she ended up moving the one at the desirable primary to the back up primary as she felt it was a much better school despite local word on the street saying otherwise.

I’d give school 2 a go. The parents love it.

@EmmyPankhurst there is definitely a bit of this going on. When we were choosing the area I envisioned him at this option 1 school and got carried away with the idea of it. But the reality may be completely different. And like I said, there are downsides to it, it's size being one (4 full classes per year). I actually rejected a school in our old area for being that size.

When you say the second choice school has poor KS2 results, how poor? (Figures might be useful.) How long is it since it had an Ofsted inspection, and what was the result? I wouldn't worry too much about the buildings.

Can you ask first option school how long it is likely to be before he gets a place, judging by their previous experience? Obviously they won’t be able to make any promises but they will have a good idea of their usual turnover of children moving away etc.

Moving schools once won’t hurt him but I would really hesitate to move him twice in the space of a year or two.

@Miffylou 59% exs+, which for London is very poor. Well below LA average and with no excuse really as the demographic is pretty affluent. For comparison my son's current school, with an incredibly disadvantaged school population (in the most disadvantaged borough in London) has 84% exs+. The first choice school in new area has 80% exs+. I know results aren't everything by any means, but I'm worried this reflects poor teaching, especially when the school demographic is considered. Hence why I wrote it off initially.

@Miffylou Last Ofsted 'good' but in 2018, so probably due another. In terms of the building being ropey, I'm just worried it means funds are tight!

You’re right, that is very poor (unless, for instance, the school has a special unit for SEN children, who would count in their figures even if they come from other catchment areas). I would check whether perhaps they've got a new Head who might be turning things round.