Schools and toilets breaks

[Mummyofblueeyedbabies]

Just looking to see how others feel about it…My son returned to school this week and he came home to say that he asked the teacher a couple of times if he could go to the toilet and she said no. In the end he felt like he was going to burst so he asked another teacher who said yes. I feel like 6 is a bit young to deny going to the loo. If it was multiple times and they were obviously doing it to get out the class room then yes but he’s eager to please adults and follow rules and he has quite a lot of school anxiety as it is. If he were to wet himself in class he’d be horrified. Has anyone else gone to a teacher with this kind of thing or am I over reacting?

I don't think you are over reacting but you might need to escalate it a bit to get anywhere. Sounds like the teacher doesn't really understand young children unfortunately.

I'm a primary teacher who works with this age, and we often have children taking repeated toilet breaks at the beginning of the year. This can be due to anxiety, a need to physically move or trying to escape the work. Personally, I don't stop them going, however, I do say things such as 'are you sure that you need to go again, could you hold it until we have finished this?' 'that's the third time this hour, are you sure you need it again?' Or 'ok, you have gone a lot today already, so go quickly. I'm timing you!'

As the year progresses I quickly learn the students who I must never allow to go to the toilet break together, those who can give me a little hand signal to let me know that they need a break without bringing attention to the situation in front of everyone, as well as who I can trust to go, even if someone is already wearing 'the toilet necklace'.

I would always ask the teacher about this and listen to what they have to say. The six year old often has little concept of time and with a bit more informed context, the situation may appear clearer. Both of you can then discuss the classroom rules with your DS, so that it is clearer for him.

Good luck!

Thanks for your advice, the view you take with your students sounds really kind and reasonable. I did mention it to the TA at the door today as the teacher was busy and she seemed a nice lady who said she’ll mention his concerns to the teacher. I think sometimes knowing there’s a friendly face in the class makes all the difference for both mum and the child! Especially at the start of the year when everyone’s a bit unsure ☺️

Teachers soon get to know who genuinely needs to go as a one off despite going at playtime and who is time wasting.