Do we move to send our kids to private school?

[SarahJaneUK123]

We own two homes. One is closer to the city, one is in the country, only 30 mins apart. We lived in our city house for 8 years, had our two daughters there, and send the eldest to the nearby private school. We were very happy there.
But my husband's job situation changed and it meant we weren't sure if we could afford private school long term (DDs we're 4 and 1). So after much consideration, we moved to our country house where there is a very good state school near to it, as well as my parents in the same village, and stunning views. We did some work to our city house then put it on the market to sell.
We have been in our country house almost 2 years now and DDs settled instantly. The eldest was very excited for the move and couldn't wait to join her new school as she loves to make new friends. She has made friends and is happy.
But my husband's job situation has become much more stable and we can afford to put our DDs back into the private school for the duration of their school lives. This will involve moving back to our city home.
Our DDs are now 6 and almost 3, so luckily it's only the eldest child who will be moving schools.
The state school is very good, but it doesn't compare to the private school which is outstanding. However, I am sure they will still do well going through the state system as the high school is excellent.
But I am at a complete loss of what to do. Part of me wants to just stay in our country house where the children are settled, happy and have friends, and it means not going through the upheaval of moving again. But the other part of me wants to send the children to this private school where they do so much more with them such as languages, swimming and music. All the after school activities are also held at the school, making it much easier for me.
My eldest DD is again excited at the prospect of moving and re-jouning her old school where she can see old friends and make new ones too. But will all this moving around mess her up in some way long term? Even our youngest DD is so settled in our home here. Or should we invest in this private school and go through the move again? They are familiar with the city home. This will be the last move and the last school for them.
Thank you!

I'd go for the stunning views, if I were you.

I would stick where you are. If you’re desperate to go private then look locally at a private secondary school for eldest and for when younger ones get to that age. Put the money you save in trust for house deposits for the kids!

Where are your friends and job? Sounds like the kids will do fine in either location; I'd be thinking about where I want to be! (Ours, and many of their friends, went to state for primary and private for secondary so that always seems the natural way for me.)

If it's a good private school and you're as sure as you can be that finances are sorted, I'd move. The opportunities that private school can offer are well worth it imo.

Your youngest is 3 so fifteen more years roughly of schooling, do you have enough to see them through that even with cost rises and if something happens again to DHs job? I don't think a change now is an issue, it's a change in 5/7/10/12 years time or worse multiple changes if/when money situation changes again

In your situation, I'd stay in the country house, and put as much as you can into savings for private senior school. I'd do this because while it is easy to move small children when finances demand it, moving DC's during GCSEs or A'levels is much more disruptive and should be avoided at all costs.

Add extra curriculas such as music or dance lessons to your current state provision.

Thanks all for your responses!
So I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works in London and commutes. Even if his job changed again, we would be OK this time for private school (complicated situation last time). I will go back to work when my youngest starts pre school next year, but can base myself in either location.

The private school in the city is the closest one to us, so moving for secondary school would mean moving at that point. So I think we either move now or never kind of thing, as I want the children to settle after this move.
If we stay where we are, a chunk of the private school money will go into work on the house. So many things to think about and it's driving us mad!

I'm a stay at home mum but when I go back to work next year, the private school gives me longer working hours as the after school activities are all at the school. However, it's not a deal breaker. I have friends in both locations and as they're only 30 mins apart, it's easy to see either friends. It's a tough one! I guess we can't go wrong with either option, if the kids are OK with another move.

I would go for whichever option offered better quality of life, whatever that looks like for you as a family.

Can’t you move half an hour away so you are 30 mins from school and 30 mins from your parents +!still in the countryside. Moving at this age, or older wont affect your dcs.

Or can’t you live where you are and dcs travel a bit further to school? There must be a school bus even if you have a bit of a drive to get to it. Many kids travel this far!! Mine do 20 mins in car with then 40 on bus and it’s totally fine.

I have never understood why there is a need for private primary schools.
I would say choose the place that has the private secondary.

I'd keep them both in the village state primary, get a good tutor from 8/9 and go private for secondary

It's a a good state primary and you (probably) have a better quality of life. Family, community, more nature and "natural" outdoor activities etc
You'll also save a couple of 000k which will be super useful if either of you gets ill or fancies early retirement.

I also struggle to believe 2 years so radically changed your financial security unless your dh sold his business. Ie id want about 4-500k net extra savings in the bank now, today to be confident i could do 2x 4-18 private
As a salaried employee my company has given me significant RSUs over the last 5 years but I'm not rushing to put my kids in prep despite it being chunky.
Anecdotally i also see private primary state secondary kids struggle so i wouldnt do prep unless i was CERTAIN

Thanks all. The only way to go private for secondary is to move them at that point, where they will be older and probably what to continue to the local state school with their friends, which does happen to be a very good one.
We have considered doing the commute from here to the private school but with traffic, it can be 45+mins which we felt was that little too far for them at this age, and with having a house very close to the private school we thought we would be best basing ourselves there if we were to go down this route.
With regards to private school affordability, a combination of work situation changing and inheritance has meant that even if we couldn't work tomorrow, we would be OK for them still to go.
Lots to think about, thank you so much for all of your opinions

How is your country location for teenagers? What do the local teens do in their free time? Is there good public transport?

Sarahjane - I wouldn’t rule out that as a commute, plenty do it and don’t forget they are just sitting, not driving!
They can totally move at secondary, especially if they are expecting it from the start, not an issue - they may well want to go!

Are you planning on keeping both houses?

Can you afford to do that?

Im just wondering if the option is on the plate to live in both homes. So stay where you are for now and if you choose private secondary commute in Monday am and back to county Friday Pm.

The only sticking point you may find with this is that the kids want to stay in city for weekends as friends are there and more to do.

But if you can afford both homes and not to rent one out you can live the best of both worlds. Even have the country house as a holiday type home u til kids leave school and move back permanently.

Itsgetting - great plan! Lots of London types have a weekend home.

If we stay, we will sell the city house, but would be really upset to sell the country house due to the views, so this idea could work well and something my husband had mentioned also. Council tax is about to increase significantly for second home owners, so the running costs would need to be majorly factored in, but we think if we are allowed to do airbnb it could cover the costs and still be able to use it.

It sounds like your hearts are in the countryside. Could you downsize the townhouse to keep both. I would investigate school bus routes now, 45+ mins is a very normal bus time at my dcs school.

Stay where you are, 45 mins + is totally normal private school commute in my experience

I can't think of a single reason why you would move in your circumstances.

Public transport is not very good from the country house, but very good from the city house. It's a suburb 2 miles from the city centre, it's leafy and in a quiet culture de sac. But there are cafes and restaurants within 20 mins walk, a lake within walking distance, and a bus from the bottom of the street that takes you into the centre where you find all the usual things for teens and kids.
The country house involves a 15 min drive to the train station, to get the 20 min train into the city. Not too much to do in the area without a car, but i also don't mind.

Not public transport- school buses (ie private coaches/minibuses) look on their website or phone them.

There's a lot to be said for bringing children up in the countryside and, as a bonus, you're close to family too. Private school really isn't the be all and end all, especially if it means moving to do so.

It sounds to me like you're more than happy with the current school and your children are happy, so I'd stay where you are for now. The compromise might be the private route for secondary?