Should I speak with school about a fall out with a lunch time assistant?

[Theanxiousmum82]

Should I speak with school about a fall out with a lunch time assistant?
Long story short we were very good friends until recently and we have had a big falling out. I’m aware she’s sharing things via Facebook about seeking revenge - this is all in retaliation to me and another friend calling her out on things.
I’m worried she will single my child out when they return to school. Given the seriousness of our falling out I don’t want her to have any contact with my little one as I know how horrid her behaviour can be.

If she’s working in a school, she needs to be very careful what she posts on social media. Would be a shame if a member of SLT saw it.

They’re memes she’s posting calling people snakes, clowns and referring to karma and hurting people.

we had fallen out previously but I allowed her back in for the last few years. She’s since become lunch time assistant and I know fine well her behaviours and she would single children out.

Id rather be proactive and contact school before their return next week and request she has no contact with my little one. The woman is a bully. I’ve wised up to much to her behaviour as have other people and I don’t want to rush any upset to my daughter.

I wouldn't say anything to school unless your child comes home and says something has happened. You'll look like a shit stirrer.

If your child says anything then yes, definitely complain - but until that happens I think you should leave it alone. The HT has enough to deal with without dealing with something that might or might not happen between 2 adults.

This does sound like an awful lot of drama OP. You can let the school know of course, but I suspect it won’t reflect well on you either. They won’t arrange no contact, they can’t run the school around parents having teen style fall outs

If she's a lunch time supervisor then they won't be able to stop her having contact with a specific child.

At lest not how it works in most schools, as there are only a few members of staff to cover the school during lunch time and they have to cover all year groups.

I would wait and see if there are any problems first.

I think a person publicly making threats about hurting people, who works with children should be reported to the school immediately, perhaps even the police, with screenshot evidence of everything they are posting.

Whether the op's fallout with this woman is silly and juvenile or not is irrelevant. This woman sounds potentially dangerous and disturbed.

I would definitely report your concerns to the school. As PP suggested, send in some screen shots. The school should take it seriously.

OP has said they're posting memes. I wouldn't take a meme as a personal threat, nor would any authorities take this seriously. I'm sure the other person knows what they're doing, as it's certainly intimidating in the circumstances but unless OP is personally named or addressed in the posts they are not direct threats. It's more like someone's warped idea of being 'funny'. Oh look, a meme that illustrates how I'm feeling or what I'd like to do to someone. That will make other people laugh. That will get a reaction. OP has interpreted that they're aimed at them, and they probably are, but posting a meme is definitely not enough to conclude someone is dangerous. If this ex friend was directly threatening OP it would be different but, as of yet, it's seems to be childish behaviour.

OP, I would definitely wait and see if anything happens before reporting to the school. They are unlikely to be able to keep your child and this member of staff apart simply because of a falling out between parents, nor can you expect them to. If she does anything to upset your child that is entirely different and that would be the time to step in. Mentioning it earlier wouldn't reflect well on you to be honest as it would look like you're stirring it up to cause trouble for this person when they haven't done anything wrong to your child, yet. I definitely wouldn't say anything to them at this stage.

Take screen shots but don't do anything with them yet.

I would definitely contact the school. In our school, we have a code of conduct about how we behave on social media and this is definitely out of order.

How did you become aware of the stuff she’s sharing? If you’ve seen it, then block her, and if it’s other people telling you, tell them you don’t want to know, because you can bet any reaction you make is going right back to her.

Don’t go to the school and don’t feed the fire

@Aquamarine1029 they've fallen out and the other woman is posting random memes, not direct threats. Nowhere in the op does it state the other woman has threatened children or is a danger to children. This is two adults behaving like children themselves.

The other woman is a dinner lady. The OP's child just needs to go to a different dinner lady if she needs anything while she's outside playing with the hundreds of other children in the playground. The op just wants to get the other woman in trouble with school. That's the top and tail of it.
If you would report this to the police at stage you are a time waster. No crime has even nearly occurred.

Really you need to stop looking at her posts, remove yourself as a friend and ignore. I would then leave it unless there are any issues.

Believe it or not schools actually have a lot of other things to do besides worrying about arguments between parents 🙄

You'll look like a shirt stirrer, if you tell the school before anything has happened of course they can't keep
Her away from your child. They have more important things to do.