7+ experiences

[HideTheBacon]

Hi, just wondering whether anyone would be willing to share their experiences of prepping their child for the 7+. We're London-based and DS (going into Y1) is currently in the pre-prep of a nice, nurturing prep school, but we'd always intended him to sit the 7+ for more academic options but we're getting cold feet closer to the time. DS is bright but not the brightest in the year, seems happy at school and doesn't really enjoy doing extra work and tuition (do any children?!). So we're leaning towards leaving him where he is but afraid he might be missing out on opportunities.

For anyone with a child who has recently sat the 7+, what was your/their experience of it? Was it positive overall or a lot of pressure? Would you say it was worth it in the end?

Bump.

We moved out of London (to a leafy commuter town) to avoid the 7+ for our children. Best thing we ever did as we removed ourselves from the crazy parent mentality. Everyone wants their child to go to “the best” school but forget about it being the RIGHT school. There’s a real focus on rankings and school hierarchy in London and it’s really sad.

Both my children are bright. Passed the Bucks 11+ with no tuition and the eldest got a place at NLCS. They were at a nurturing non selective country prep that helped them and us work out who they were and what was important. Fast forward and they are both at a secondary school others see as a “backup” school, absolutely thriving, enjoy being the brightest in the year, have all their extra curricular needs met and are ridiculously happy. The eldest is on track for all 9s at GCSE and we’ve had none of the stress of her friends who are at the “academic” schools.

It sounds like your son is happy, thriving, and your gut is telling you that he should stay where he is. Whilst it takes a bit of bravery to move away from the considered normal route of these academic school pathways, he really will be ok if he stays where he is if it’s the RIGHT school for him.

Thanks @DibbleDooDah . Maybe I'm just being put off by the fact that a lot of people seem to have started tuition already for their kids. It just seems a bit much for such young kids.

Everyone tutors because that’s what everyone else does. It has become a self perpetuating circle of doom as the schools then have to make the exams harder, which in turn leads to the children having more tutoring.

I’m not naive. To stand a chance these days in London you do need to tutor. The 11+ process in particular can be brutal and parental aspiration is EVERYTHING. There are plenty of options though and I ask if most people know where their children’s strengths really are until they reach 11 / 13. Academic schools can be miserable places for those at the bottom of the class.

In a roundabout way what I am saying is follow your gut reaction. So long as the current school sends children to the sort of schools you might be interested in later on, they offer full support and prep for exam readiness and they have a focus on finding schools of best fit as opposed to just focussing on the big names then it’s fine to go against the grain. Get a tutor lined up to start in Y4 or 5 if you want - you have plenty of time.

Just only move him at 7+ because it’s the right thing for him. Not because everyone else is.

I'm not knocking anyone else's decisions but for me tutoring seems such a waste of time for 5/6yos, especially if it comes at the expense of playing and developing their social skills. It seems to me that people are so focused on their kids getting ahead with academic/extra-curricular stuff that they're not necessarily paying enough attention to them developing the sort of skills that young children this age should be developing - social skills, self-confidence, gross and fine motor skills, emotional regulation, i.e. in order to get two steps ahead, they're missing out a step. Maybe the tuition thing will feel right when DS is a little older but it doesn't feel right at the moment. But then I'd always assumed this was the path we would go down (and DH is still keen) and maybe it suits some children, so I'm conflicted.

It absolutely does suit some children. It would have been a disaster for my eldest. Summer born. Only came into her own from Y3 onwards when something clicked academically and she started to fly in lessons.

Also wouldn’t have suited my younger one who was awarded a full art scholarship at 11. She was always good creatively but mostly doodled and drew cartoons. In Y4 she took it to another level just watching YouTube tutorials and her sketching is now unbelievable. She is always drawing and choosing a school with a great art department was absolutely key.

Neither of these would have been identified in Y2 when it would have been helpful in choosing a school.

I’m not trying to put you off. For some children a move at 7 is the right one. However, what do you think he’s actually going to get from the move that he wouldn’t get in the four years staying where he is?

He's fairly bright (I'm sure all parents think that 😂). The schools we would target would be more academically challenging than his present school and the top of the cohort is 'creamed' off each year by these schools. Some of them are all-through schools so he could stay there until 18 and avoid the 11+. Having said that, his school does get a few students each year into the top senior schools, but it's much more of a mixed bag.

I guess we're afraid of being left behind? And it's an issue of having too much choice. But those probably aren't good reasons to move him.

Some people have said to us - why not give it a try, just put him down for it and see what happens? But it's not really a question of that - to stand a chance, I think you have to tutor and invest a lot of time and money in mock papers and practice exams. He can't just turn up on the day and have a chance of getting in. We'd have to prep for it - and that would mean time, money and stress. So if we do this and he still doesn't get a place, then it's a lose-lose situation. We've put all this stress on him for nothing when he could have just spent the year playing and having fun with his friends.

Children in state schools aren’t left behind. The great majority of the U.K. population is in state. Large numbers go to Oxbridge and top RG universities without having done the 4+, 7+, 10+, 11+ or 13+.

It’s a middle class fear!!!!!

Husband and I went to state comprehensive, then onto Cambridge where we met. We have chosen private for our children purely because we feel they are the schools of best fit and we can afford it. My children aren’t missing out or being left behind 😂😂