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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Okay to let bright child coast a bit?

26 replies

chavtastic · 14/04/2008 19:35

Is it okay to let a high achieving child just coast along sometimes, or should they be steadily worked with just like you ideally would with a child who was struggling?

DD is y1, exceeding targets (by a lot in some areas), so I don't generally ask her to read in the evenings. She'll probably read in bed because she wants to, but I don't listen to her read or monitor her reading much.

I kind of think she's doing so well, I don't need to push. But maybe I'm letting her down by not making sure she keeps striving towards her highest potential?

Not just asking about the situation now, but thinking about the future as dd gets older, or with my other DC.

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BBBee · 14/04/2008 19:37

my son is classed as 'high achiever' and I let him coast. As long as he is happy I think it is fine. People won't,, people will make you feel like you are letting her down.

I just consider myself lucky that this is all I am worrying about and let him tick along as he likes.

I may be wrong but I have done this all along and he is now yr 3 and still doing well and enjoying himself.

AMumInScotland · 14/04/2008 19:59

So long as she is finding the school work and stuff she does at home (her own reading etc) interesting, then you don't need to be "pushing" for her to keep achieving. There's more risk of putting her off by pushing too much!

If later on she finds that school work is boring, then you might need to either get the school to provide more challenging work, or make sure you provide interesting opportunitites at home, but no need to fret unless that happens.

My DS has always been a high achiever, but at home we've encouraged him to do other things apart from "school work" once the set homework has been done, as I think that makes them a happier and more rounded individual.

Ellbell · 14/04/2008 20:06

Dd1 is a 'high achiever' in reading (achieving Level 4b in Year 3). I just let her get on with it. I did hear her read her school books until this academic year, but the books she brings home are much less interesting for her than the books she chooses herself, so I let her choose what she wants to read and we talk quite a lot about what she's read. I think that keeping her enthusiastic about reading (and learning generally) is the key thing at this age.

yurt1 · 14/04/2008 20:07

DS2 (year 1) can read so I don't read with him in the evenings now. I give him his own books to read. He reads all day long anyway, he was reading the back of the Capri Sunbox at tea time. ('wow mummy that has so much energy, will it make me run fast, gosh did you know an orange floats with its skin on but sinks when you remove it') etc etc. I don't call it coasting, don't see the point of making work for 6 year olds. Would rather he came in and relaxed or bounced on the trampoline.

I did tell his teacher last term that I wasn't going to read with him at the moment and she was fine with that.

DS1 btw has severe learning difficulties (9, can't talk) - I have to do extra with him all the time just to try and ensure he has some sort of vague independence when he's an adult (even if that only extends as far as dressing himself)- I don't believe in making work with ds2 when he doesn't need it. He needs to find his own place in life - will apply the same to ds3. If he has problems reading etc, will give him extra help. If he's managing just fine, lucky him he can enjoy himself.

Milliways · 14/04/2008 20:07

Quick Hijack..

Ellbell: Got the post yesterday - Thanks very much

roisin · 14/04/2008 20:13

I don't think children should be continually 'pushed'. But I do think 6 - yr1 - is a bit young to be dropping the shared reading time. Even if she is reading extremely fluently, it's good to continue sharing books with her - reading to her and listening to her read.

Even once they can 'read fluently' there are still some hurdles along the way to them becoming 'lifelong readers'. IMO the longer you read with/to them, the less likely they are to stumble at the next stage.

mrz · 14/04/2008 20:17

I wouldn't "push" but I don't think spending 10 mins listening to reading is particularly pushy and it can be a nice close time.

edam · 14/04/2008 20:21

I don't think you need to push a child who is doing well, as long as they are happy. But I'm not looking forward to the day when ds doesn't want me to read him a bed-time story any more! It's not just about acquiring skills, it's about spending time together, enjoying something.

Having said that, I was a voracious reader as a child and don't remember my mother reading with me (am sure she did, just hasn't stuck in my mind). She did used to come along after she thought I was asleep and try to pull all the books out from under my pillow though... Apparently she thought I couldn't be comfortable with half a dozen Enid Blytons/E Nesbits/Noel Streatfields under there... wrong!

Ellbell · 14/04/2008 20:21

No problem Milliways. Hope it's helpful, and definitely do tell her to get in touch with me if she wants to ask anything. It doesn't have to be related to my uni or subject.

Is that true about an orange, Yurt? [Rushes off to try it...]

hana · 14/04/2008 20:21

I have a child in year 1 as well who is a fab reader, but I love snuggling down with her and either listening to her, or reading to her myself. Sometimes we take a page each, or ( if I'm not too tired) a chapter each. Have been making more of an effort with this lately. Even if they're independent readers, having that shared reading time is still important. There are words that she can read but not necessarily know the meanings of, so chance to sort things like that out.

Ellbell · 14/04/2008 20:25

Ooh, yes, hana. We did the one page each thing for ages with dd1 and I still do that with dd2 (in year 1 and quite a good reader, but not confident about reading on her own).

roisin · 14/04/2008 20:29

I was surprised on here recently there was a thread about people still regularly doing bedtime stories with their 10 and 11 yr-olds. I haven't read with my 10 yr-old for quite some time, though we do talk about books a lot.

But I do try and make the effort to read with ds2, who is nearly 9; and feel guilty when I don't. (He was reading well at 4 before starting school.)

hana · 14/04/2008 20:32

I still love being read to
dh sometimes will read Oscar Wilde to me.......sigh..........

kategarden · 14/04/2008 20:52

Me too - in fact DH has started picking DDs bedtime stories so that I will hang around & wash up while I listen to them. We're working through the Swallows & amazons series at the moment.

Bink · 15/04/2008 09:52

Agree with roisin - at this age, do keep up the monitoring: but you can do other things than have her trot easily through the assigned pages - instead you could ask questions about the reading ("What did you like best about the story?" "Who do you think was the most interesting character?" "Do you think it could have had a different ending?") - or pick out particular words and see if she can give you their meanings in her own words. Conceptual, contextual, broadening questions.

Also - one of the traps of being an early, fluent, silent reader is that you can pick up words without knowing how to pronounce them - "ee-wee" (female sheep) or "my-zld" ("misled"). So a little bit of reading aloud now & again is a good idea.

I don't do any formal school reading-aloud with dd (yr2) but we do do things like compete to see which of us can read Ozymandias with More Expression.

Anchovy · 15/04/2008 10:12

I think homework is as much about self-discipline, though, as about actual work: in fact probably more so at this age.

DS is in Y1 and gets about 10 mins reading homework a day. Like many of the DCs on this thread, his reading per se is not an issue. He's good, enjoying it, and 10 mins every evening isn't going to make any difference either way. The school books are not as much fun, overall, as his own ones or the ones we get from the library and we focus on these much more.

BUT, I do think it is a good thing to set up a routine whereby they expect to have a bit of homework every evening, and work it in to their daily pattern. The whole discipline of saying "what's in your reading bag", going over it, checking he's understood it and confirming it in the reading book is just good practice for when real homework comes along, I think.

I think there is also a discipline in being comfortable/workmanlike about reading books you haven't chosen yourself and find a bit dull/not to your taste. It certainly was something that served me very well in my degree!

Ellbell · 15/04/2008 11:03

LOL Anchovy... I see you had to read the Lyrical bloody Ballads too!

Bink... I'd be worried if my dd tried to read with more expression. She has been given the part of the villain in her school play based almost exclusively on her incredible talent for Hamming It Up.

Bink · 15/04/2008 11:04

Villain would be lovely - so long as it wasn't The Narrator. Again.

Ellbell · 15/04/2008 11:13

Oh boy!! I swear she's honing her oscar acceptance speech already. I even got a little note from the drama teacher (not her class teacher) about her hamming acting ability at parents' evening. And she is such a prima donna... dd2 has to do All Other Parts and woe betide her if she gets a word wrong.

mrz · 15/04/2008 11:17

Bed time stories and reading together are more about attitudes to reading and to encourage children to....

enjoy reading

to know reading has a purpose

to talk about the books/the pictures and turn the pages

to want to read/ to show interest

Anchovy · 15/04/2008 11:19

Ellbell - I was actually thinking of Sir Philip Sydney's Arcadia and the complete works of Henry James.

Am now a lawyer and spoilt for choice on dull things I have to read!

roisin · 15/04/2008 12:16

Ha ha ds2 was the villain in his school play too for similar reasons! and also the fact that he was one of the few boys willing to sing a solo.

roisin · 15/04/2008 12:16

Ha ha ds2 was the villain in his school play too for similar reasons! and also the fact that he was one of the few boys willing to sing a solo.

Anna8888 · 16/04/2008 13:30

My second stepson is in his final year of primary school, here in France.

He knows and we know he is learning nothing at all. His most recent report was all As, with congratulations from the headmistress. But the teaching is at a level way below his needs and he is bored, frustrated and - worse still - has got so much into the habit of existing on automatic pilot because so little is required of him that he is actually depressed and rather a pain.

Long live secondary school in September .

If he were my child, I would be hysterical. But he's not. I have made my point about him being understimulated again and again and, while it doesn't fall on deaf ears, no real attempt to do anything to improve the situation has been made.

I don't think this it is good for children to waste their time.

cory · 16/04/2008 18:05

There are always so many threads about bright children being understimulated on MN. Personally, I never understood how this happens. I spent my school days teaching myself foreign languages, reading my way through the local library and making up stories. Lessons were frequently dull (local comp with no streaming), but my parents showed no signs of becoming hysterical; they just lent me more books. Spending a few dull hours at school was never a problem, as I always had something interesting to think about.

I've noticed that my dd is the same: never bored, precisely because she takes her mind with her wherever she goes. And that is well stocked by now.

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