Significantly behind in every area

[Otter2108]

My 4yr old end of July born son has had his school report today which states he's significantly behind in every area and that the only engagement they have from him is when he's outside playing with construction. He cannot read, write, listen to teachers, lack of understanding of any subject and maths.

I'm sad, I feel like I've failed and that I haven't done enough with him. He hasn't got many friends in school and I do think he's struggling although he's the first to run to class each day.

His older sister who is in year 1 is above expectation in every area so I haven't experienced this before.

Anyone have this experience and what success did you have when your child went to year 1?

TIA :-(

is this a complete shock to you?

surely you knew already about the reading, writing, interaction etc

I couldn’t read and run. I’m sorry you’ve had this report - if there were serious concerns over his development then this should have been communicated to you long before an end of year report. He is only four - not every child is ready for school. It’s very very hard to hear that they are struggling though. One of my children had a chronic illness throughout EYFS and beginning of Year 1 and missed a lot of school through both illness at
home and hospitalisation. He didn’t pass all of the EYFS stages (I’m not sure how he could have unless I’d home schooled him and I was not going to push an already sick child) and it was hard to hear he was behind. He is now in Year 2 and is making steady progress and meeting targets. There are still elements of his learning that I can see he missed out on but hopefully they will even out with time. Just keep it consistent. Do what you can. Most importantly find your child’s strength. It can be anything (doesn’t have to be academic at all) but finding something their good at will give them the confidence to succeed elsewhere x

Did the school give you any indication until now that he was so behind (at parents evenings etc)? Have you raised any concerns with them before? As there's such a difference between him and his sister, you must have had some idea he was behind?

Ask school what they are putting in place to support him, and what they'd like you to do at home to help. Do you read every night? Maths is in the environment, everywhere you look. Make an effort to chat about what you notice (look at those 3 birds over there, how many dogs is that lady walking? etc). You can play lots of games to help him recognise dice patterns, count out spaces around the board etc. As long as you're giving him those opportunities to practise, and talking lots to him, you've definitely not failed him. All children are different and there will always be some who are behind the expected level. Especially in Reception, where age and maturity has a lot to do with it.

It's especially not unusual for a summer born boy to be behind at this stage. They're practically a year younger than some of their peers, yet they're expected to be achieving the same things. Things they're just not interested in yet. The system is unfair. Many do catch up though, when it finally starts clicking in Year 1 or 2.

My first port of call would be speaking to the school.

No, not a complete shock as they had told me at parents evening he was behind. But both us and the school were doing additional help. I at least expected some improvement and maybe hitting targets in other areas.

Is there any way he could repeat YR? I’m not sure y1 will help him at all. What did his development tests show before school? I would ask to see SENDCO with y1 teacher to plan what to do. I’m not sure what the teacher could teach him in y1 without him getting help. I had an August born DD who was never behind at all so it’s not all summer borns.

One question: are they letting him play and leaving him to it? What are you doing at home? Concentration? Holding pencils? Colouring? Play where he has to make something? Reading a book to him? Talk about the pictures. If he’s playing at school, he probably does enjoy it but what are they doing to help him access the curriculum?

I wouldn’t worry OP. My son is 6 tomorrow and in year one. Last year in reception he was below expectations for most areas.

In year one he had improved in some areas such as writing and maths but he was still struggling to read a seas in the lower class for phonics and all his numbers are written backwards.

I got his report yesterday and he surprisingly meeting expectations for everything. He passed his most recent phonics tests and is now back in the main group, his reading is improving too.

sometimes it just takes time so don’t panic and don’t push him too hard. It will come

Your child is practically a year younger than many of the other children in his class who are already five, some nearly six.

So he has had a fifth less experience of the world.

His brain has had a fifth less time to develop.

A fifth less exposure to language.

A fifth less opportunity for socialisation.

His muscles have had a fifth less time to develop strength and refine skills.

If the eldest children in his class had been assessed last July using the same tick sheets as the ones now being used to assess your child then their results would probably have been similar to your sons.

With young children the developmental difference is very obvious, children's development is rapid - no one in their right mind would ever compare a new born with a one year old for example. Think about the difference between a two year old and a three year old. Fortunately for your son, and most late summer children, this developmental difference sorts itself out as children age, the younger children catch up as the older childrens early rapid development slows slightly.

So don’t worry, the teachers are recording what they have observed, he is doing things which are age appropriate for him.

Sounds more than just being young in year (as my jun born met alo reception expectations.
Could his hearing need checking.

Is he interested in other chiodren or in his own world?

Also i imagine if your eldest is y1 you are having to split your time listening to reading between them both. Often sibs will work woth eldest though and so actually end up above as copying them.

The OP isn’t describing “a bit behind” or “below in most “ (but not all) areas. She is describing a child not engaging with anything except play. My DD was doing more than this at 3. Yes, a summer born! He’s had a year in YR so the op should reasonably expect some progress and what about Y1? More play?

What can he do OP? Can you give a bit more detail? Can he speak fluently, put on his own shoes, use a fork, draw a picture?

People always trot this out as though summer kids are the only ones in a class of autumn-borns. Assuming even distribution, a third of the class will be max four months older than him.

Op I would echo the pp who have suggested speaking with the Senco, and perhaps also asking the teacher before the end of term if there are any specific things you can work on with him one to one.

They ‘trot this out’ because there is a body of research showing how disadvantaged summer borns are and how a disproportionate majority of kids diagnosed with SEN are summer borns.

It makes it tricky to know whether a child is truly behind or just really needed that extra year of early years that many of his peers benefited from. I would be asking the teachers if he seems out of keeping with the other summer borns / whether they think it is indicative of something else.

it makes me sad reading time and again parents who sent their children to school at just turned 4 and then as they go into year 1 suddenly have a shock at what is expected of them. Suddenly they’re required to be able to fluently read and write and sit still for extended periods at the same age as many kids are just starting reception. It’s a crucial extra year of development so it’s so unfair that we force kids (esp summer born boys) to start school so young, contrary to a mountain of evidence showing the benefits of starting later.

Did your DC start school having just turned 4? Developmentally they need exposure to a play & sensory curriculum at this age. How is his speaking & communication at home. I wouldn’t expect a child of that age to be doing anything other than engaging in outdoor play, construction, small world, sensory, motor skill type tasks. The environment should be rich in literacy & numeracy experiences without expectation of sitting at a desk or worksheet type tasks. 4 is usually just a little young for those kinds of tasks and expectations.

I was in your position many years ago.

As hard as it is, try not to worry. My child struggled all the way through until year 4/5 then something just seemed to click and he passed all his sats with flying colours, all his GCSE and I have just attended their university graduation this week.

Your child is so young and they all learn at their own pace, but please remember that none of it is your fault. I made myself sick with worry and when I think back now I really wish I hadn't concerned myself when they were just a little kid.

It's not just up to you to do "more" its much more about targetting the learning to the way he learns? Maybe he doesn't follow the traditional ways of learning, a lot of kids don't, because frankly, school is boring and many are unfit for purpose. in the EYFS stage, there is a lot of flexibility in terms of the "type" of activity he is doing. Why should he be institutionalised into a school regime that favours marking kids on academic type achievement. If he loves construction then introduce maths concepts and other eyfs guidelines via that? Sounds to me that he is different from other children and they can't mainstream him. Don't carry extra burdens on your own insist on an action plan that favours his character, temprament etc. Also they should have friends policies that encourage a mentor child so that he feels he can engage. Maybe engagement is what is stopping him learning as he is not with other children and children learn a lot from each other and sharing tasks. I'd challenge the teacher to come up with a specific program that is tailored for him or they are simply neglecting to provide the correct care. Ask for a care action plan from them so that you know if required another assistant that works with extra needs will provide specialised support to assist with integration activities until he is confident alone.

If it continues - ask for a formal assessment to see if he has additional learning needs. Good luck.

What are the school doing about it? Is there a plan in place for next year? Do they believe it's age related or something else going on?

What year is he op? I have 4.5 year olds, did to go to reception September and they're not reading, it isn't an expectation either,I'd say the same for "writing" if by which they means sentences , or maths beyond the basics. Both at expected level.

Can they break down what the issue is? Does he recognise his letters? Can he do phonics? Can he write his name? Does he enjoy mark making? Does he know colours and shapes? How high can he recognise numbers to?

Ultimately if he has a learning disability or not, it isn't about fault. He can't help it and you didn't cause it. Keep supporting him to learn and progress, at whatever progress that is.

How's his speech?

What's he like at home? Does he play/engage with his sister? What is his speech like? Can he talk in full sentences? Does he share his interests with you? Will he sit down with you to look through a book? Have you - or any health professional - ever had any concerns about his development?

What is the school suggesting to help support him in Yr1?

In some cultures, formal learning doesn't start until 7. As I'm sure you know, child development isn't just about hitting educational targets. Play/speech and language/self care/independence/motor skills etc are all really important markers in young children - possibly more so than being able to read at 3, say.

Ah Otter2108 I really feel for you and your little boy. I don’t work in the English school system thankfully, and in our country, parents are not expected to send their children to primary school at 4yrs old. Indeed, in my school we encourage parents of children who were born in the summer to wait until they had turned 5 before sending them to school.
While a previous poster has implied that age doesn’t really matter all that much, in my experience (11 years of teaching at Junior Infant level, the first year of primary school in our country), it does. Even if a summer born child is academically able, they can be “behind” socially and emotionally. Would it be possible to get an appointment with relevant school staff and seek their advice as to what is best to do here?

Unless you suspect he's got global developmental delay, there's no need to worry.

In any other school system he would be concentrating on playing with the construction toys, splashing a bit of paint on paper, learning to use a scissors, and the hope would be that he would eat his daily snack neatly, sit quietly and listen at circle time, and share classroom stuff nicely.

The expectation that he would be able to do any academic work is what's off here, not your child.

YYY to this.

In early years play is the main part of the curriculum.

The EY curriculum is not about sitting at desks but it is about making progress so dc can access y1 curriculum. It’s not about reading fluently but dc should be getting reading books and holding a pencil to start writing. Play should be structured around learning outcomes. We don’t expect too much in YR and it’s not in a formal setting.

We do have dc who will be ahead though and can read before YR. Their education shouldn’t be dumbed down.

Having talked to people from Scandinavian countries, it’s not true that their dc don’t learn to read if they show they want to. Why would anyone deny a child learning? Sweden, for example, has most DC in nursery education (not childcare) from age 1. This continues until they are 5 and 40% of staff are degree educated. Progression to the next stage is seamless but education from aged 1 is in a forskola. So education is taken more seriously, not less. All we care about is random play and how to get cheap childcare.

Yes, hold him back a year, he's the baby of the year and it will certainly improve his chances.
Legally he can start reception a year later

My July born went to school at 5, and she has done so well. She was ready in a way that she wasn’t when she was 4
would moving school and doing reception again be an option .