Crying at drop off - year 2

[WhoWereTheBratPack]

Looking for some strategies please. 3rd child but not had this before!

Age 7, year 2, state school. Been there since she was nursery age and in the last 6 weeks she started to cling and cry and drop off. Always walked in happily before. We had a chat and so asked her to be brave, bribed her with a small treat if she could manage the week, it stopped for a few weeks and has now started again.

School have said she's fine during the day. She comes out happily. She has plenty of friends and is getting on well academically. School have tried to talk to her about this and find out the cause but she can't explain it. As far as I know there's no fall outs with friends, she has a good friendship group.

She sometimes expresses nerves about year 3 but she's also excited and her new teacher is lovely. I'm hoping it won't carry on into year 3 but in case it does I'm looking for ideas.

She says she just wants to stay with me. I work (mostly at home) but she needs to be in school (IMO). I've explained her job is to go to school and mine is to do my work but it doesn't have an effect.

I hate it. I'm sure it's not fun for her either. What to do?

Be kind but firm.cheerily wave your dc off and ignore their crying which at 7 is frankly absurd

It's not absurd! 7 is still young. I am kind but firm telling her she can do this, she will have a lovely day and etc etc but she clings to me and has to be pulled off. It's horrible but I don't let her see I find it upsetting.

I guess I'm wondering if there's something I could be doing that I'm missing.

Maybe if we turn up later when the doors are already open rather than having the wait (where she's fine)? Find a friend who's willing to walk in with her. I just don't know.

Ignore PP, terrible advice.

My DD cried at drop off in year 1 and it was awful.

What worked for us was working out what was bothering her and taking some steps to alleviate. She took in a transition toy (a stuffed toy to hold) that helped with separation from me. And we also arranged for her to go to quiet lunchtime club as she was finding the day too long and the busy playground overwhelming.

She's fine now

You have my sympathy- it's hard to watch your child be miserable.

Make the drop off as short as possible. Say the same thing each time, quick kiss and cuddle and then leave. The worst thing a parent can do is draw out the goodbye. Usually as soon as the parent is out of sight the child settles.
If it continues after October half term maybe give your school’s pastoral team a call. They might be able to make some
suggestions. Also speak to the class teacher - see if they can have a regular job to do as soon as they’re in school so they’re immediately busy.

We unexpectedly had this, we think due to some changes at the school.

The school were very helpful, and would send out her TA ‘I need help sorting out some books, can you help?’ And before she knew it she was off and in the classroom ‘helping’.

I agree that long drawn out goodbyes are harder, easier if you can drop and go. We also used soft toys, which were kept in his school bag in the day but useful at drop off.

It naturally stopped at the end of term and hasn’t reappeared.

A 7 year old crying is absurd??
I’ve heard it all.

Is she just exhausted after a long year? Only just over a week to go til summer holidays. Maybe try and push through til then and re-assess if it starts again in September? Will she be in a holiday club over summer?

If it’s around leaving you , you could look at the invisible string book that can be helpful or like others have said a transition toy. My almost 7 year old son loves school and we are having tears this week I think he’s just exhausted and needing a holiday!!! Much like me tbh!!! 😅 sending sympathy - it will pass but it is hard!!

I did this, definitely in Year 3 (infant 3 then), vaguely remember doing it at beginning of Year 4. No issues. Just wanted to be at home, reading. I think the teacher made no fuss, just gave me a job to do (probably book sorting!) and I gradually stopped.

Quite honestly, even now I’d rather be at home, reading, than having to go to work! (And it doesn’t take much to set me off crying, and I am considerably older than 7..)

Thanks all. She took a teddy in today but that didn't help. I might try the heart "tattoo" thing.

It could be tiredness. She will be in holiday club in the summer but I've tried to minimise the days.

I'm taking on board these ideas and crossing my fingers that year 3 will be new and exciting and we won't have this, but, if we do, I will see if she can go in a bit earlier and help the teacher. I know they do this for a few children who have difficulty with transitions.

My children used to be exhausted at the end of the summer term.. That could be a contributor.

It certainly isn’t absurd. I’m a Year 2 teacher. Several chn do this on and off. The chn are always fine within minutes if not seconds. She is clearly very well attached to you op and that’s no bad thing. Carry on and don’t indulge. Just a kiss and a breezy ‘ you’ll be fine and I’ll see you later.’ It will pass.
It’s worse for you because you’re left with that last upset face but we see the smiles a few minutes later. I always tell the chn that their mummy/ daddy is in their heart and wants to hear all about their day later.

@Tutorpuzzle agreed re. not wanting to work

@greengreyblue what a lovely thing to tell the children!